Sun Wukong and the six sorcerors

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Adventure: Sun Wukong and the six sorcerors
GM: William
Session: Winter 811wk
Night: Th
Location Dean's House, Onehunga
Level: moderate to drunk

Employer: Sun Wukong

Scribe Notes


The Jade Empress has never forgiven Sun for spoiling her Peach Banquet. She has summoned six of the most powerful magic users in all time and space to bring her the head of the Sage of Heaven.

The six beings are: Baba Yaga, Yttrfggth, Ipslore the Red, Morgan Le Fay, Thulsa Doom and Rasputin.

Current score
2 down, 1 ally, 1 potential employer, 1 prisoner, 1 (still) at large (no longer in his tower).
  • Yttrfggth, banished and all children slain.
  • Ipslore the Red, taken to Valhalla by Sabrina.
  • Baba Yaga, old-time friend of Sun who claims to be in alliance with us.
  • Morgan Le Fay, returned(?) to plane of Albion, will summon us to defeat the endless Army of the Eagle under their invincible general Ivlivs Gaivs.
  • Rasputin, in counselling.
  • Thulsa Doom, current location and activities unknown.


Kit's Session 1 Highlights
  • Party successfully pulled off ruses disguised as clerks, then jade army (heavenly) soldiers.
  • Grafted peach-like pieces of beef to the Jade Emperor's peach trees.
  • Got party to free-fall from heaven, before we knew who could fly.
  • Got most of the party in laundry baskets carried by Boulder disguised as a horse.
  • Accidentally became immortal.
  • Arranged to fight Sabrina naked while each disguised as pack of monkeys.
Even with her 'no biting or throwing monkey-poo' restriction, I scratch with my nails and pull hair waaay better than Sabrina. Should take her in 15 seconds. Unless she lands a solid blow.
Somehow Sabrina believes this fight will restore her honour/dignity after I pointed out she didn't fight like a girl. I don't see how being beaten in a cat-fight by a guy will help that.
Sabrina's Session 1 Mus(s)ings
  • This is Boulders show, so I have turned my sensibility meter way down to cope.
  • Our go with the flow tactics so far have been successful and amusing, if a little more off the cuff than I like
  • Given the forces against us, will need to be careful we do not treat the occassion with some level of respect.
  • Kit seems to want to give out his dueling cards on a whimsy, so I am happy enough to entertain such
  • The style of the fight is pure(e) Kit, but the opportunity to examine my weaknesses in an area he is much stronger at is a worthwhile one
  • By the by, I fight like Sabrina, there is no other valid comparison.
  • Ahhh, here come the bad guys, game face on....
Boulder grasping at myst
  • sun wukong knows we are here.
  • he is watching us.
  • the 6 know we are here.
  • they will come and try to get us, hoping we lead them to sun wukong.
  • we will kill them or they will kill us.
  • if we succeed sun wukong will reveal him self - looks around for drunk servent.
  • we should research the 6 for weak points, or get drunk.
  • we should also appear to keep looking for sun wu.

Boulder gathers us at the guild for a heroic quest, he was given a biscuit that when shared with 5 others in Kin Lu would grant his wish to meet the greatest Warrior of all time.

We go our separate ways to prepare and meet up again the next day in Kinlu.

W'nsday 2nd Frost

After each eating our portion of biscuit, we find ourselves in a cold room that extends out of sight, sides of beef hang on hooks. The beef is from a Plane called The Middle Kingdom. Next to the door behind us is an ugly pig-like man who is happy at his success in Summoning Heroes. Zhu Bajie, keeper of the Storerooms of Heaven and Food-tester, introduces himself and explains why he has summoned us. The Jade Emperor is unwell, the Jade Empress reigns and she wants Revenge on Sun for eating all of the peaches from her grove when he was meant to be guarding it. She has summoned six powerful sorcerers to kill the Monkey King, we are to stop them. We learn a little about the sorcerers. The only problem is that nobody knows where Sun is, he was cast from Heaven 500 years ago and that's the last Bajie saw of him.

We ask for rewards for our heroism and Bajie offers to teach each of us a transformation.

Boulder packs a side of beef and asks if there is any other food we should take, Bajie suggests that Peaches are in season, we should take one of those each. The Peach Grove is guarded by the Heavenly Host, to enter without permission or to take a peach before the banquet is punishable by beheading. On the other hand, they may send the Sorcerors after us, so we won't need to track them down. We ask how many peaches there are, Bajie doesn't know so I suggest we count them.

Kit organises our disguises, following Bajie's directions Boulder finds another destination then resorts to bribing a kid to show us the way. The guards are unsure about letting us in as they not heard of any orders to count the Peaches, when asked Sabrina produces our papers and they let us in. The Grove extends for miles, each tree has up to 9 peaches, on the stalk of each peach is a Rune to raise an alarm if it tampered with. Kit makes replacement peaches from Boulder's side of beef, Sabrina disables the Runes and I put 6 peaches in my pockets then we leave.

A few minutes later while we're trying to find Bajie again a voice booms out alerting all guards to find 6 clerks that may have stolen peaches, we switch to look like guards of the host and join the search. Spreading word that the clerks are trying to get to the gate we follow other guards to the gate, the guards have not seen anyone leave but we point out that nobody saw them come in either and we should search beyond the gates. The captain of the gate guard orders us to search 5 Rivers as that is where the last lot of bandits went, we exit and make our way down the road which ends at the edge of the cloud 300 feet later.

Kit steps off, I follow and the others soon after. We are miles above ground though it seems to approach faster than normal, Kit says it is an air lens. We work out how we're all going to survive the fall and get into formation for landing. I hold Kit's sword and carry Boulder and Sabrina as I glide in to land, Erzsabet and Isil Eth follow me in, Kit turns to mist as he splashes down. We have managed to land close to the intersection of 5 rivers, walking down the road we are met by a Monkey Guard, we explain our mission to protect Sun but the Monkeys do not know where he is, last they heard he headed to a Buddhist temple 300 leagues east. We mention the Heavenly Host may be here soon looking for thieves, the monkey departs to warn everyone.

We discuss the best way to travel and settle on Boulder wielding Kit's Running with Scissors carrying Kit, Sabrina, and me in wicker baskets, with Erzsabet and Isil Eth slipstreaming behind. Kit turns Boulder into a Horse to maintain appearances. This lets us travel at just under 20 leagues an hour, almost discretely.

As we travel down the road we pass through burned-out villages where everyone has been killed. About 100 leagues down the road we run into the army, questioning their followers we find out they razed the villages and are destroying all Buddhist towns for harbouring the criminal Sun.

Running to get ahead of the army we find they are settling in to besiege a Buddhist city. Looking up at a roaring sound we see a huge metal dragon, it flies over head and then away to the north, as it flies by we can hear manic laughter over the roar of its passage.

Abandoning the original plan of holding the road against the army, we walk into their camp as Heavenly Host soldiers and demand to see their commanders. In the command tent we are doing well at convincing them to return home but they seem unable to change their minds, Sabrina confirms they are Geased to continue the war, so I draw and strike slaying the Geas on their General, the Geases on the other commanders follow, and soon we have the commanders regretting their war and the army packing to head home. Questioning reveals they were incited to attack and presumably Geased by Rasputin. Two months ago, Rasputin was at their capitol, about 500 leagues back west.

Running around the city and on to the temple we reach it about an hour later. We are permitted entry and taken to see the head monk. Sun Wukong was banished from the temple about 300 years ago for being too disruptive, they do not know where he has gone. He suggests we try asking Sun's former travel companions, Shah Wujing is at The Well of Souls about 200 leagues North. Or we could try the Library of Lord Main the Younger about 800 leagues south. We ask if the monks know a way to make a giant metal dragon fall from the sky. If we are good at holding our breath, in a couple of days they could teach us the trick of capturing the wind, which might make it fall from the sky. Our breath-holding isn't too promising, but we are optimistic.

We accept the invitation to stay the night, we can choose what to do in the morning. Sabrina and Kit tentatively schedule a naked, no-magic, monkey-style all-in brawl for dawn to defend Sabrina's honour after Kit pointed out that she wasn't a girly-girl like Erzsabet and Isil Eth.

Th'rsday 3rd Frost

Cries of alarm disturb our breakfast, looking outside we can see metal giants approaching the temple - looks like Yttrfggth is early. Unless we are quick, the monkey duel has to go on hold.

Metal Giants

Kit's Future Plans
  • Need to improve the party's disguise as a pantomime horse. Hoping for a chase scene as dramatic as the second half of this scene.
  • Do I fight with the 3 front-liners, or stand with the 2 healers and throw cream-pies? Punching metal giants hurts the knuckles, and they have no sense of humour.
  • Erzsabet already defeated in a battle of manners, Sabrina set up for a beautiful pratfall in a barrel full of monkeys. Boulder is set up for a wooden sword fight in the future. Aryan should be easy to trick, although monarchy is making him smarter. But how to defeat Isil Eth and collect the set? She's smarter than me, a battle of wills is out, and Sabrina doesn't think even she can take Isil Eth in a fight. Hmm, need to twist her virtues of pride, vanity, royalty, dignity, wilfulness into weaknesses. Of course, comedy.
  • Deal to/with the bad guys. Can I convince the party not to attack Morgan Le Fay and Baba Yaga, and vice versa? If they are cunning and not intrinsically evil like the others, we might come to some arrangement. One of them is bound to turn on us, of course. Unless the party does first. Shiftless untrusting lot - very wise.
Sabrina's First Dance Critique
  • Rather ungainly and unfashionable partners. The 'big blob in a large metal cup on top of tripod legs' is so last season
  • Strangely enough most of the party thought they were hot, but not so from my viewpoint
  • Tried the 'Straight Arrow' move on the first partner, but they flicked it aside. Gave them my stoniest glare in response, with surprising but satisfying results
  • Had to chase after the next partner, not a fan of playing hard to get. Got the 'Straight Arrow' move to stick this time, and they obviously were unprepared for the follow up 'Hammer and Anvil' as they fell into an unseemly heap
  • Meanwhile Boulder was providing food to his partner. Don't they both now that eating is not allowed on the dance floor? It ended messily, as expected, but thankfully not for Boulder
  • Very impressed by the 'step out of the wreckage of the flying contraption that just smashed into the ground' entrance of Ira, daughter of Baba Yaga. Looks like a worthy partner to dance alongside
  • After a small break for refreshments, another dance about to begin. Who brings their dad along?

The metal monsters aren't as close as initial reports, but they are bigger, we can see three them 15 miles east and closing fast.

Sabrina summons Ajax and Boulder breaks out his war Elephant, Isil Eth turns it into a Roc which takes to the air carrying most of us. We head out south east to see if they are after us or heading for the temple, it runs out to be the temple though the southern one has turned to track us and then from 5 miles range hits us with some kind of instant increase temperature. We dodge into the air and start our 5 mile flying charge. Boulder and the Eagle at the centre of our dispersed wedge take several of the heat blasts, Boulder is unconcerned as he casually sips from his hip flask but the Roc starts to look singed.

The metal giants are about 100' tall and look like 30' soup bowls on three legs, tentacles emerging from the base of the bowl wield weapons.

Finally in range to strike back Boulder opens with a couple of Firebolts, Sabrina with some arrows, I land on the rim of the bowl to call down Thunder and Lightning, Erzsabet tries banishment, Kit tries to convert its legs, Isil Eth checks her hair. Apart from a few sparks and getting the attention of the giant tentacled blob in the bowl, our first volley doesn't have much effect. While the rest of us start hacking in melee, Erzsabet checks its GTN and banish-ability but it turns out to be local to this plane. Tentacles and blades everywhere for half a minute then Sabrina ends the fight by turning it to stone.

Boulder's Roc is now a squashed Elephant, the other giants are about to assault the monastery, we leave this one in its death march towards the cliff and charge the other two, splitting up to do more damage.

Sabrina, Isil Eth (carefully dodging the Abbot thrown in her direction), and Kit take the first one, Sabrina's first volley squashes it with Mjolnir.

Boulder, Erzsabet, and I take the one astride the monastery. Boulder lures the slug into eating him and slays it with a generous dose of his acidic blood. Monks that were outside have been burned to death, those inside are mostly ok, they start to evacuate. The vehicle is rigged with booby-traps and crashes itself to the ground when I evict the melting slug and try to take over the controls.

Isil Eth and Kit disappear to the Astral and Ethereal to look for signs of Yttrfggth, we recover the Abbot's corpse for later resurrection. Kit returns on schedule...

About 10 minutes later we detect Isil Eth return to our plane some miles to the east, she contacts us to say she found something and followed until Yttrfggth became aware of her and attacked.

We mount up and head East towards Isil Eth's position, just over half way the metal dragon roars overhead, we scatter and it misses us with a Millstone then flies on, I summon it back and charge into the air to meet it. Erzsabet gets a DA off to find it is mostly made of wood (Oak). Just as I am about to engage Kit casts and makes it explode, I ride the shock-wave, debris rains down on everyone still on the ground.

To our surprise a woman emerges from the wreckage, Boulder charges, asks who she is, then strikes her. Once she is stunned he magically binds her, kisses her and gets cursed into a toad.

The others gather and try talking to her. Ira is annoyed that we destroyed her craft then attacked her when she was just dropping us a message, we apologise and discuss the merits of paper vs rock for delivering messages at high speeds. Now that we look there is writing on the rock from Baba Yaga inviting us to work with her against the others, she owes Sun a favour that pre-dates the Jade Empress' offer of employment. Ira invites us to come meet her mother and sisters, we discuss and decide to strike against Yttrfggth first, since we know where he/it is now and it's reasonably close. Ira will join us for the attack.

Running East we come to a large burned out crater, in the middle is Yttrfggth with a few of his slug clone-children and a couple more patrolling in the metal giants.

Isil Eth offers to take them all out on her own, we choose the 'all-play' plan instead.

Two Down

Kit's Session 3 Lessons
  • Don't cut thrown explosives in half with a wooden sword.
  • Hiding behind any namer provides ablative fire protection.
  • If the remora are 20' long, approach sharks with caution.
  • While a barrel of monkeys is fun, 8 monkeys on a broom attracts enemy magic.
  • Never arrive late to your own ambush.
  • When releasing a huge all-devouring extra-planar monster, don't stand too close.
  • No one gets 'release from custard-y' jokes (even with raisins) :(.
  • You can't stop a free-fall charge even if the enemy surrenders.
Sabrina's Session 3 Thoughts
  • Not a fan of sneaking normally. The giant devourer and associated hangers on on the sneaky path do not make me change my mind
  • Sorry Kit, did not get the custardy joke, the raisins were off pudding
  • Leaving Isil Eth alone to do her own thing is dangerous. She crowns herself if someone leaves a throne open, and becomes a one woman army if the party leaves her alone with a few dozen enemy nearby.
  • Namer power on show as Erzabet removes Yggrth, though I think even she is not sure how many Gs are in that name either
  • Very pleased to give Ipslore a way out. Not often you get to Call the Slain on the living
  • Finally meet Sun, where to from here.....

We have a plan, Kit sneaks us up close via the Ethereal, Isil Eth will teleport in and join us when we get there, then we defeat Yttrfggth.

Green flashes to the north attract attention and lure away a couple of the patrolling clones in tripods, just the sort of distraction we wanted.

We five and Ira head into the Ethereal, it's not as nasty as last time, Kit explains that's because we're deeper in, the border with reality is always messed up. There's a current heading where we want to go which makes for easy walking.

The current gets stronger as we get closer, we rope up in two groups, staying standing may not be an option soon, ahead through the mist Kit can see a thing about the size of a small hill with an enormous maw, it's sitting right about where we want to come out, we pause to consider options.

A 20' long Remora detaches from the thing to swim towards us, Sabrina considers diplomacy, it opens its maw, Boulder and I attack, the others slightly behind us, it grabs Erzabet and swims off to eat her, Boulder and Kit (roped to Erz.) get dragged along, Boulder prepares to harness and take control of his new mount until Erzabet destroys it with a counterspell (peripheral damage from the reality-unreality explosion).

Kit summons an Elemental, it likes the smell of Erzabet, she smells of magic (licking lips). We start cautiously approaching when there's an explosion from the thing, a shock wave, flying debris, a massive scream (from the thing, not Kit), the current is disrupted. We take advantage of the calm to charge closer.

The current starts to resume, we're not close enough yet but any closer and we could get eaten before we can exit, we push on. We can now see chains of the Ritual of Binding Will holding the thing where it is. Another smaller explosion, the current is disrupted again, I run over to the chains, Kit turns them to custard (with raisins), the thing breaks free almost trampling me in its hasty departure.

Kit casts to get everyone out but leaves me behind with his now uncontrolled Elemental, I don't smell nice, not enough MA, too much cold iron, it tosses me out of an ethereal hole to crunch into the ground near the rest of the party.

We now learn the cause of the explosions, Isil Eth got bored teleported in, killed all of the clone-spawn and their machines with TK Rage and then duelled with Yttrfggth (TK rage vs Heat Rays), all fun and games until the giant tentacles from the pit joined in. The tentacles were from Yttrfggth's Ethereal force-of-nature pet (the thing) reaching out through a permanent Ethereal gate.

Thanks to our well planned and coordinated multi-planar assault, now there's only us and Yttrfggth, we charge.

Heinous damage, fiery blasts, bloodshed, and slime, until Erzabet ends it by banishing Yttrfggth.

Minimal looting while I scry where the green flashes are, something humanoid sized and very agile is dodging hot blasts, it could be Sun being attacked by the metal giants, by brooms and butter churns (and Ajax), we charge.

Kit leaves a 'Keep Out' note in the ground so nobody will disturb out loot until we return.

We fly past two metal giants that have been cut in half, Kit transforms us into packs of Monkeys so there are now 8 screaming monkeys on my broom.

As we get closer we staff wielding red clothed wizard standing on a mountain blasting the ground below, dodging the blasts is Sun Wukong. Boulder descends to greet Sun and passes along his permission to join the fight, the rest of us charge Ipslore the Red who burns our Monkeys to a crisp leaving just Kit and I on the broom as we freefall-charge.

I smite him averagely, he shrugs it off and tries to turn by bones to hot lead, I shrug it off and call for his surrender - he does, Kit completes his charge and strikes mightily, then apologises for not pulling out in time. The others arrive to negotiate the terms of surrender.

We talk a while, Ipslore is dead on his world (killed by a champion of the gods for causing them grief) so is not so keen on the banishment option, hanging around here is probably going to cause problems, so Sabrina claims him for the fallen of Valhalla and takes him there. He is willing to teach us some stuff if we go see him later.

Then we descend to meet with Sun who is teaching Boulder to jump. He's not bothered by the six sorcerors, they're making things fun and interesting. But he does have a quest for us, to throw down the Jade Emperor and Empress. We can go to hell and seal the prison the Emperor is in then go to heaven and defeat the Empress. A simple plan which some of the others start complicating with morality and social responsibility...

Drop a Mountain

Kit's Iron Duke Takeaways
I always knew Boulder was impressively skilled and a natural leader of men. What I didn't realise was that he's actually quite good in a fight (not the sort of scrap that adventurers have, where it's all about killing quickly, but a genuine honourable duel). During the fight against a titan-esque opponent, he was producing a disabling specific injury every five to seven seconds, while rolling with some pretty impressive punches. What did it for me though, was that when the Red Duke refused to surrender because Boulder was smaller than him, Boulder nipped off from the fight, became 60' tall, and then rather than using the fact that his armour, health, and damage were each four times what they were to pound the Red Duke into the ground, he used his new height to allow the Red Duke to surrender with his honour intact. That's honour with style. Tricking him into fighting the duel as Sun Wukong's champion was obviously good for him; I'll see what else I can do to help.

More talk, the possibility is raised that Sun might not be Sun, he might be someone pretending to be Sun to draw us away from finding and protecting Sun. Boulder tests this by attacking Sun, striking him a mighty blow and getting a solid riposte in return, Boulder recovers from stun. Sun acknowledges Boulder's speed, then Boulder bows and declares Sun to be the real thing. Sabrina tests this with a DA. Boulder queries the difference between a riposte and a preposte, Sun demonstrates, Boulder recovers from stun.

Sun suggests we could start with the Iron Prince who holds the mountains between here and the holy lands, evidently that doesn't have as many moral/social issues so we agree to do that or hunt the other sorcerers or go to hell, after we go back to loot Yttrfggth's crater.

20 minutes flying later, while we are prodding and DAing stuff, the Ethereal Elemental tries to lure the tasty Erzsabet back in for dinner. She declines, and we divine the ethereal gate to see how it works and how we close it. Half an hour later a mountain interrupts, narrowly missing us but destroying or burying everything in the crater (problem solved). Sun warns us to watch out for the second one, the Red Duke usually throws them in pairs (oops - a new problem).

Most of us scatter, some play chicken with falling mountains, the mountain doesn't dodge.

A cloud of demons are flying towards us, Sun smiles, this will be the personal guard of the Red Duke. There are 800 armed, armoured, and magic (usually Air) using Mountain Ogres incoming on Air Flight.

We almost charge but to mix tactics so we're not too predictable, I decide to kick back and wait instead. The swarm closes, we shoot a couple, they shoot back, I practice holding my breath to knock them out of the sky, it's not very effective. Sun leads us in doing it properly, all 800 start falling and dying. Boulder lets his breath out to ask if he should have taken a deep breath first, so Sabrina gets the giggles and loses her breath, and about 18 of the Elite Guard recover their air and resume their charge; the rest are splattered over the ground so we let the air go again. The 18 survivors angle up flying into the clouds to gain high ground over us, Isil Eth teleports up after them while the rest of us prepare to receive their charge. They charge - as lightning bolts - zipping past IE and striking the ground amongst us and materializing to attack, a couple don't survive their close encounters with Pikes, Glaives, and Kits set in defence.

I give them some Thunder and Lightning in return, the lightning reflected off Sabrina for good effect, Boulder claims 4 of them, Sun, Sabrina, and Kit finish off all of their opponents, Ira eats one and starts playing with another, Erzsabet attacks one of Boulder's, Isil Eth gets bored and teleports down to attack a couple of Boulder's, I clean up for Ira, Sabrina & Ajax charge through the only remaining melee, and then Boulder, Erzsabet and IE finish them off.

We check out the bodies, especially interested in their lightning bolt trick, their Giant Glaives are enchanted for damage, their bracers for enhancing magic.

The Red Duke arrives, he is a 60' tall giant, he challenges Sun to single combat, Boulder volunteers, Sun accepts and sends forth his champion - Boulder.

Boulder charges between the legs and hamstrings his opponent who falls to the ground, blows are traded back and forth, Boulder is propped up by healing then he grows to match the Duke in size, he takes the Duke's right eye and delivers some powerful blows, the Duke yields.

We talk, Boulder claims the Duke's Armour and fixes his eye. The Duke was requested to kill Sun by his mother, the Jade Princess, who is sister to the Jade Empress and wife of The Iron Prince.

We decide to go talk to the Princess to clear the air. Someone mentions she might be charmed so we should see about that too.

The Duke stays to start resurrecting his guard, Sun flies us to the Red Mountains it takes a few hours by cloud. We plan to sneak in as ants Mountain Ogres, transformations, transmutations, and disguises are applied. (Almost everyone went with Sun's transformations, rather than trusting an illusionist - don't they realise even illusionists are far more trust-worthy than the Monkey King?)

On arrival we march in to report to the Princess, all goes well. The (giant) Princess receives us while she reclines on her couch and oiled Ogre Guards stand at attention. Kit is very convincing in our report until he runs out of truths he can say, then I take over and reluctantly break the bad news of her son's defeat. She wants to see Sun and his champion Boulder, we play dumb, she questions our identity, I claim we're new, we're dismissed, I ask permission to complete our mission, to check her for bad smelling magic, we talk long enough that she agrees (possibly helped by the 'agreeable' charm spell Sabrina and Erzsabet detect on her), I approach slowly, take her hand, bend over and give it a good sniff using that to cover the dagger I use to cut the charm from her, accidentally snagging another couple of spells with it.

The Giant Princess looks alarmed as she turns into an Elf...


Secret (L)urnings
In the chaos of us calling for the guards and mages (to throw us out), and guarding the princess (from us) until they arrived, and the musicians arriving before the magicians (who called for what again?), it was obvious that we should disguise ourselves as musicians, swap places with some of the locals, and disappear before any of the locals knew what was afoot. Unfortunately, the cumulative penalties of too many fights within a day reduced my magic chance by 2 in 3, and so my Transmutation was unreliable. Turning into a winged lizard was a fine opportunity to accuse the recently-arrived mages of witchcraft, writhe on the floor dramatically, and then help the lads neutralise them within 5 seconds. Transforming into a beautiful urn was not so fortuitous. Being an umbrella/sword stand is a perfect cover for spying, but when the secret negotiations are happening between your own party and a ruler, its a bit trickier. Particularly when none of the party can act semi-intelligent - the women are too smart and use big words, and the men, um, don't.
Still, that beats being stuck alone in the astral with a severed silver cord, less magical aptitude than an orc, and a hostile astral sorceress who takes over the minds of mile-long dragons at whim. Becoming an urn would have definitely been a good tactical move at that point.

Her Highness's first reaction is to call for the guards, we salute and step up promptly to form a protective ring. With no obvious enemies in sight I ask her highness to point out who we're protecting her from, some slightly confused questions follow then she decides to call for the Magicians to sort it out, this is misheard (Ogre ears) and the Musicians are called for. Grouped against a wall surrounded by alert guards, the musicians nervously begin to play, Sun discretely defects to play with the musicians.

Her Highness expels breath in a lady-like sigh and calls loud and clear for the MAGICIANS! The magicians arrive just as Kit is making his way over to join Sun and the musicians, Kit turns from Ogre to a winged-lizard, I blame the magicians for attacking him, they've gone rogue, Boulder and I charge and decimate them before they can react. Sabrina and Isil Eth convince the Princess we can better guard her in a smaller private chamber, Kit turns into an Urn, we drag some Magician bodies and pick-up the Urn as we make our way into the private chamber. Our Namers divine the Princess, and our more subtle (non-Urn) courtiers engage in questioning.

Her Highness is no longer sure why she sent her son to kill Sun, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Around the time the charm first took effect, her lady-ness-ship was visited by the Dragon of the East Winds. We decide to go check out the Dragon, after discretely looting the mages and de-Urning Kit, we leave, then Sun jumps us all to the East.

We land in an air temple, no roof, pillars of Buddha (don't pee on them), that turns out to be on the back of the Dragon of the East Winds who is miles long and currently sleeping. We de-Ogre, I commune with a pillar, the Dragon is DA'd (has been asleep over 100 years, is affected by some sort of charm).

Isil Eth takes Kit and Erzsabet into the Astral, she returns without Kit saying there's someone there and then sends us all in to deal with it while she stays out. Kit has had his connection to reality cut and is avoiding Morgan Le Fay by being mist. Morgan's cute so I talk to her for a while, Ira doesn't seem jealous so I'm not doing well there. Morgan has heard of some of us even on her world, the stories of my heroism are legendary, ... Legendary!

Morgan has been riding the dreams of the Dragon and using it to visit people and influence things, she doesn't have anything against Sun and would rather not hunt him down but she needs help on her world, if only she had some heroes to help her deal with the infinite armies of the Eagle Banner and their leader Julius. Boulder and I volunteer, the only complication is we don't know how to get to her world of Albion but she thinks her friend Merlin can summon us. We make the agreement, Morgan will leave here and after we're finished with the Jade Empress her friend will summon us.

Morgan heals Kit's severed cord, Isil Eth finally turns up and takes us back to the real world.

The moral/social responsibility debate starts up again so I wander over to a pillar and ask Buddha is shutting the Emperor and Empress in room together to sort out their crap is a good idea. Buddha turns up, he answers with something deep and meaningful, then translates - yes. The others talk to Buddha for a while and ask questions about other options. He almost pleads with us not to make Zhu Bajie the Celestial Emperor, which leads to us asking who would make a good Emperor. Buddha spreads more wisdom and when I ask says I'd make a good Emperor, I figure it's probably because I'm so Legendary.

After talking with us for a while longer, Buddha starts running out of his endless patience and tranquillity, he offers to show us a path to our next destination, we decide to go to the city where Rasputin is hanging out and causing trouble. We set off on the path Buddha directs us to.

Rasputin's Dream

Aryan's Smart Idea
No irony here. Rasputin had ensorcelled a city, sucking out the hopes and dreams of people, replacing them with a feverish desire to party. On the ethereal a whirlpool had formed over the city, with Ethereal creatures feeding on the stray emotions of the townsfolk. This had created a misdirection effect like that of a damaged Middlemarch (much stronger than e.g., a Fae Forest misdirection), so we couldn't find our way to the centre. Aryan took one look at the vortex of emotions on the ethereal, and then sucked in all the emotion and enchantment from the entire city. While he held his breath, we exited the ethereal, and he thunked at us to find a bag. Sun had a bag of sufficient capacity, and Aryan breathed all the magic and emotions into the bag. Instantly, the citizens were no longer dancing to their deaths, and Rasputin's magical defences were down. The rest was easy. Sometimes, when Aryan is full of Hot Air, it's because he's doing something brilliant. Not often, but sometimes.

We came to the city of decadence and drunken orgies, and joined in. Kit wimped out, citing religious beliefs. Isil Eth followed Aryan's lead towards the centre of the orgy where our prey was certain to be - Ajax kept Sabrina out of trouble. Once the party was pooped and Rasputin had been put somewhere safe for later punishment, we resurrected the citizens and trained in the arts of Sun.

Buddha's plan complete, a new improved Aryan plan

Having completed Buddha's plan, we need a new plan. Aryan has a plan.

We go to the necro and doof it over. Then we go to the Emperor and explain marriage facts. Then we tie the Emperor and Empress in a room together, or together in a room. Then we leave. A little time later we get a lackey to open the door.


Quite a few Lords a Leaping

Kit gets consumed by his work. Thrice in 20 seconds.
While leaping to the top of Doom's tower, Kit turned his landing zone to marshmallow. He lands and is buried eight foot deep in greater undead architecture. The marshmallow closes over the top, and the ceiling is more than ten feet thick. He turns to mist in the hope of popping out. No luck. Aryan lightning bolts, punching a hole through the marshmallow/mist. Kit is blasted from mist form and falls stunned to the floor of the tower. Success! Five seconds later, the room is full of eager adventurers, so Kit heads down the stairs to give them room. Oops, there are giant fangs five feet behind him in the slimy, rapidly closing tunnel mouth. Eaten by a giant undead snake. Boulder hacks into the top of the snake with his six-foot long swords, which Kit dodges from inside, then wiggles free, with the help of mist-form again. By now Boulder has cut a blow-hole in the top of the snake, so in a bizarre 'rescue attempt' breathes in, sucking Kit into his lungs, then breathes out into the snake, blowing Kit back into the digestive tract. Unlike Aryan, when Boulder is full of hot air, it's because he's breathing something brilliant. And emotionally scarred.

We decide to practice our mighty leaps of fantasy, as Sun has taught us. We leap up high, we leap down low. Isil Eth breaks something and has to sleep for an hour. Isil Eth says we cheated by using special abilities to land without damage (the lads suffered a broken pelvis, shoulder, arm, and fractured leg; Sabrina and Erzsabet are too smart to jump, and busy healing the others).

Sun says Thulsa Doom, the last of the six sorcerers, is 600 miles away so we all leap there... and miss by 6 miles. sigh.

So we leap again, Kit, Boulder, and Isil Eth miss. big sigh.

Eventually we are all in or on the tower - Kit transmutes the top of the tower into marshmallow and embeds himself in it on landing; Aryan blows a hole through the marshmallow and Kit, and everyone piles on through the smoking hole. Isil Eth uses the stairs. Doom's tower is aware and undead so Isil Eth's footsteps do damage as does her sword cut through the top. A large undead snake is distracted by swallowing Kit before either notice. Aryan decides to vent against a table. Kit escapes the snake. Boulder inhales Kit, who escapes again. The Tower shakes a few times. The greater undead are no longer in the tower, except for the snake, which is under Isil Eth's control; probably a good thing.

We are separated from the Astral, Ethereal, and our Gods. We are trapped. In desperation we consider using the door.

Just as well we have the snake where we want it - blocking the way to the door.

We find a small goblet of liquid memories from Thulsa Doom; it gloats that its source has trapped Sun here, so Aryan freezes it into ice.

Eventually the snake finishes backing down the stairs. Kit opens the door, it leads straight to hell and we blast our way through various reincarnation holding cells until we hear the guards coming to investigate. This tells us where the corridor is, and we collar and suborn the demon guard as quickly as you can say 'cleavage'. We request the guard to take us to the Emperor's cell.

How lucky can we get?!? Kit's Master Plan is working!!

Just as well we waited for him.

Hell and Heaven

The Jade Emperor is chained to a chair currently experiencing a subtle blend of hunger and frustration, we help. Boulder picks him up, chair and all, then we head for the gates of Hell with an expanded escort.

Five legions of hell have gathered at the gates so we march to meet them, their commanders come to tell us that they are ready to storm Heaven as we suggested - I don't remember mentioning that, it must be part of Isil Eth's strategic plan - Kit and I convince them to delay for another decade of drills, then Boulder kicks open the gates of Hell! (the small postern gate, after unlocking it).

Once we're full back in the mortal realms we try to explain the plan to the Emperor, he agrees, we have come up with a worse form of punishment than he was receiving in hell, to stop us talking and end the torture he agrees to our plan, whatever it is. He also signs our pardon for whatever the Empress is arresting us for.

We fly to Heaven, it takes a while. Falling from heaven was faster and more fun, fly... fly.... fly.....

The guards at the gates are not sure what to do about us, but while they're bowing to the Emperor we walk in.

Still carrying the Emperor we head for the Hall of Meditation and take the Emperor inside before unchaining him, the Emperor sends a messenger for the Jade Empress, we send a messenger for a Heavenly feast.

When the Empress arrives with her guard, we try to convince her to enter willingly but have to resort to the Emperor ordering her guards to hand her over. We lock them in and then head off to find Pigsy and a decent inn.

Sun wishes to be guardian of the key, Boulder says he has to fight him for it, a few pulses later Boulder yields, I hand the keys over to the victor, Kit hands over a couple of keys too. They've been swapped and copied so many times during the duel that we're no longer sure who has the real one, so we go have a drink.

We learn some powerful transformations, drink, eat, fight...

A week later, Erzsabet reports that Heaven is in balance again, we let the Jade Emperor and Empress out, they don't immediately strike us down, they even smile, we must have succeeded.

We banish back to Kin Lu, Sun tags along with Boulder, we visit Ipslore in Valhalla, then head home.

SGT Snippets & Gossip


Magic Rk Effects Dur Caster Ary Bou Erz IE Kit Sab Aj?
Invis 21 Invis 2:40 hours Kit ? N ? ? N ? ?
Multimages 10 + 3 images 21 mins / 7 days Kit Y Y ? ? Y ? ?
Monkey Metamorph 13 appearance 7 days Kit Y Y Y Y Y Y Y
Faith 14 share Kits MR 50' range Kit Y Y Y N/A Y N/A N/A
Transmutation 19 variable 5 hours Kit ? ? ? ? Y ? N
Counterspell 8 2 colleges 9 hours Erzabet Y ? ? ? Y ? ?
Bless Weapon 17? +18% +10 Dam (+22 vs Unnat.) mins Isil Eth Y Y Y
Aryan Mil Sci
Melee Only: +10IV +10SC +10Def +1 Pass Action at End of Pulse
Raise Morale +5 WP
Kit Notes
At most one of Invis/Multimages. At most one of Monkey/Disguise. Disguise must include silly hat. Multimages pop on 11 damage each. Monkey pops on 11 EN. Invis people can't be targeted by friend or foe. Shared MR varies - assume 94% as default (Isil Eth/Sabrina/Ajax of different Faith). Also tricky to cast any magic on Sabrina/Ajax (-47%±20). Transmutation useful for flight/running/swimming/impenetrable disguises. Other travel/camp magic includes Ethereal Gate, Illusory Animal, Fast Food, Consecration, and Five Fog Surprise. Summary: False noses and pantomime horses, not actual buffs.
Erzsabet Notes
Hair braiding has a number of effects, but takes 30 minutes/day/person. Heals at range. More to follow.
Isil Eth Notes
Enhance Enchant Rank 10. WP+8 to all friendlies within 15'. Can stop any magic being initiated, prepared, cast, triggered within 15'. Holy light, ranged healing, TK rage.

Mil Sci

Skirmish Formations Watches

Aryan Boulder Sabrina
Erzsabet Isil Eth
Kit (theoretical pos.)

Double File

Boulder Sabrina
Aryan Isil Eth
Erzabet Kit (t.p.)

Single File

Isil Eth
Kit (t.p.)

3-4 Hrs per Watch

Boulder & Isil Eth
Aryan & Erzsabet
Sabrina & Kit


People and Creatures

Zhu Bajie

Avatar strength Aura, GTN Demon. Part human and part pig, known for getting into trouble through his laziness, gluttony, and propensity for lusting after pretty women. Master of 36 Greater Transformations. He also has great martial prowess, being master of the muck-rake. Currently Master of the Storerooms and Food-tester of Heaven.

Sun Wukong

The Monkey King. Protector of the Horses, The Great Sage Equal to Heaven. Immortal prankster and warrior. Insufferably arrogant, vain, disruptive, protective, curious, cunning, and kind-hearted. He single-handedly defeated the Army of Heaven's 100,000 celestial warriors, the 4 dragons of the oceans, and many other demons and immortals. He can leap 30,000 miles in a single somersault, and is the Master of 72 Greater Transformations. He is to trouble as the ocean is to a puddle.

Sha Wujing

A mighty warrior and magician, although not quite in Sun Wukong or even Zhu Bajie's league. He has found enlightenment and lives at the Well of Souls, comforting the souls of the drowned. Legend has it he is a reformed Sand Demon, and master of 18 Greater Transformations.

The Six Sorcerors

Baba Yaga

A witch, lives in a hut on Chicken Legs. Asking her questions enrages and weakens her. Her hut always has the door on the far side, but the correct chant will get it to turn around. Sometimes helpful to the weak, but very powerful and ruthless when crossed.

Owes a favour to Sun, when she hear the Jade Empress' summons she decided to answer in order to be on-hand to protect him. She has been looking for Sun and gathering info on the other five. She was expecting us and sent her daughter Ira in the flying craft to find us and pass on her invitation to ally against the 5 sorcerors.

Three Daughters: Horror, Terror, and Ira.


Long-Lived Sentient, GTN: Witch. Daughter of Baba Yaga.

Ira appears either as a moderately attractive young woman with long dark hair, or an unspeakably ugly reptilian monster.

Her flying Dragon-ship (700mph) was a prize from previous battles on another world, until we destroyed it.

She can instil flying into Brooms or Butter-churns (60mph), the latter are more stable. Her first instinct is to Curse in combat, or if kissed.


A Vampire, banished from his home world. Known for his mind powers and metal giants.

Giant tentacled slug, has a large presence in the Astral. Spawns clone-children to go out and fight for him, he is connected to them in some way (via the Astral?).

Metal Giants are 100' tall, 30' wide soup bowls on three legs with tentacles and weapons with over 5 miles range. Non-magical heat/fire attack. Gas (Knock-out or Noxious?) attacks. General bludgeoning and grabbing with tentacles at closer range.

Clone-slug pilots have a protective aura, multi-hex(7), multiple tentacles, can attack with multiple weapons and cast spells. Mouth underneath, close and eat is a favoured tactic.

Baba Yaga and her daughters opposed him before, his slug clone-children were invading, they couldn't directly stop him so they turned him into a story. He isn't a story any more, summoning him to here restored his corporeality which we then ended with lots of violence.

Ipslore the Red

A wizard, known to have successfully cheated Death. From a 'Disc' plane. Good at fire magics, will-power drain (resist for -42WP). Surrendered during our first charge, was reasonable (though probably deceptive). Agreed to be taken to Valhalla as a hero for eternal roistering and drunken wenching, rather than staying here, to die on success or failure - well done Sabrina! Possibly will teach us some tricks later if we catch up with him in Valhalla.

Ipslore has fully embraced the life of Valhalla, lots of eating & drinking, working on the wenching, and considering the fighting. Magic? What would you want that for? As he can't teach us any magic tricks any more, he pays us with his now useless but very stylish Wizard paraphernalia.

Morgan Le Fay

Enchantress. Legend has it she clouds minds, transmogrifies people, tricks the wise, seduces the weak. Her motivations are unclear, and some legends have her as less-than-evil.

Cut a deal, renounced the contract for the Jade Empress, in return we'll come help with the problems on her plane. They're being invaded by the armies of the Golden Eagles, general Julius and his numberless legions. Morgan will get her colleague Merlin to summon us once we're done here.

Thulsa Doom

Summoner. Legends have him as an immortal skeletal necromancer and demon summoner, who seeks to conquer lands and subjugate people so he can torture them. Has sent mighty heroes into pocket dimensions.

Or in our case, trapped us in Hell. Unfortunately he claimed his prize and got away before we could get out of Hell and hunt him down.


Indestructible. Last seen in Myzing Province, west of the Monkey Kingdom. Geased the army commanders to send them against the Buddhists, possibly because they helped Sun Wukong 500 years ago. Ensorcelled a town, to feed on their joy and hope, while filling them with a false party-fever to dance until they dropped dead. Uses Charm/Illusion/Compulsion.

Legend has it he is a corrupt priest who encourages sin (primarily drunken orgies) to improve repentance. His voice charms, his preaching converts, his fornication corrupts. Poison, drowning, burning, and even beheading unsuccessful to date. However, getting him to turn into mist, merge with another creature of mist, and then shredding his willpower while the other mist creature (who is an equally crazy inquisitor) locks him in a mental death-grip and preaches redemption, seems to do the trick. At least until Rasputin corrupts his gaoler, which is his speciality, of course.

Treasure Distribution

Item # Weight Ary Sab Erz IE Bou Kit
Divine Peaches (consumed) 6 1 1 1 1 1 1
Red Duke Armour 1 1
Ipslore's Wizard Hat 1 1
Ipslore's Robes 1 1
Ipslore's Staff 1 1
Rasputin's Book of All Knowledge 1 1
Crystal Egg 1 1
Mt. Ogre Bracers 18 3 3 2 7 1 2
Ogre Magi Staves 6 1 1 2 1 1
Ira's 'dart caster' 1 1
Divine Peaches - 1 each
Immortality (ageless). +5 FT (over normal maximums) presumably of some limited duration.
Red Duke Armour - 1
Boulder (not part of treasure split, as won by single combat)
Bracers of FT (18) 12,000sp
Bracers provide 1 AP but not over 8 and are also FT batteries. They all currently contain 5 FT and may have FT added to them for 750xp.
They recharge at sunrise when the sunlight touches them. Fully if in a high mana zone, 1 pt if normal mana, 0 if poor. If in a low mana zone at midnight they actually drain a point.
This FT may be used for spellcasting only.
Corrupting Soul of Rasputin
Currently sealed in Kit. More than slightly corrupting.
Rasputin's Book of All Knowledge 25,000sp
Currently sealed in a time-stopped extra-dimensional chest. More than slightly corrupting.
Frozen Memories of Thulsa Doom
Currently frozen, can converse with using mind speech. annoyingly arrogant (successful)
The Crystal Egg 30,000sp
Rk 20 crystal ball and back-seat driver on Divination.
The Staff of Ipslore the Red 40,000sp
This 6 foot gnarled staff has an odd bulbous growth at one end and runes crawling across it. Decent weapon and reduces FT cost of casting.
Ipslore's Wizard Hat 40,000sp
A classic pointy red wizards hat, provides FT to the wearer which may be drawn upon as needed, FT regenerates at dawn. Additionally on any resistance roll in which the ones die is a '1' the hat absorbs the spell energy of the magic and regains a FT.
Ipslore's Robes 40,000sp
Classic gaudy wizard robes (mostly red and gold). The robes provide 6 points damage reduction and raise the wearers general knowledge and Generic names by 2 ranks. Increases duration of all spells on the wearer by one order (seconds become minutes, minutes become hours, etc). May not be worn with other armour.
Ira's 'dart caster' - (Tokarev TT) 2,000sp
A short curved metal wand. After performing an arming ritual (pass action) the wielder may fire the magic darts (Use dart skill). The weapon has a BC of 60. Each 'dart' does 2D damage and ignores regular armour (but not EN armour). There are eight darts. The darts are non-reusable and cannot be duplicated by normal means.
Ogre Magi Staves 25,000sp
These staves contain 6 FT for use as the wielder sees fit. Staves recharge at dawn completely. You can use the FT for pretty much anything except taking damage. They count as magic weapons.
When wielded the user may use any primary statistic as their MA. Staves are 9ft long and are rather unwieldy unless the character is that tall.

Experience Awards

After racial tax:
Income (less expenditures):


Winter: Frost 811 (7)
Moonday Duesday W'ansday Th'rsday Frysday Reapsday Sunday
Samhain 1 Guild Meeting 2 KL, MK: Heaven & Earth 3 Eastern Temple 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30 1 2 3 4
Winter: Snow 811 (8)
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 Solstice 16 17 18 Yuletide
19 Days of Chaos 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 Twelth Night 1 2
Winter: Ice 811 (9)
3 4 5 6 First Plough 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30