SGT806-3
Editorial Room for the Winter 806 Edition
Quotable Quotes
- "It's because you're clearly the only good looking woman around" - Bleyze to Amber in hearing of Sabrina
- "Just confirming, you want to kill this guy because he is in the way of our sightseeing?!" - Mortimer
- "Things happened, mistakes were made, let's not dwell on it" - Dramus
- Kit: "I have occasionally been known to take magical risks." Mortimer: "No Shit?!"
- "Ahhh my merest presence is offensive...that's ok then". - Everin
- Kit: "We need to be careful not to overload the [magical] boats by putting too many people in them". Tari: "Is Everin too many people?"
- "Father Broc, is your family estate very near to the lunatic asylum?" - Pent(?)
Insidious Rumours
- Which handsome young illusionist was seen dancing at the wedding ball of the Baron of Newcourt's daughter with an evil sorceress whom he had helped destroy some years back? A sorceress who is none other than the Baron's own sister!
- Is it really true that one of the parties out adventuring last session had to institute a rule that pants are to be worn at all times?
- We hear that Air Lath supplies crackers, tea, and nice brandy while Air Aurora only had a teapot albet it being Starflower's magical one. We think someone needs to rethink their inflight refreshments while cloud flying.
- Kern has a secret pact with an Earth Power that requires him to release uncontrolled Earth Elementals all over Alusia.
- Axis is secretly an Evil Binder on a deep cover spy mission to steal the best of the E&E college.
- Kilroy is the kingpin behind the apple and cider monopoly. His monopoly all hinges on the orchard in his basement.
- Pent backfired his snow cone making and plunged a large section of the Western Kingdom into endless winter.
- Shoka the man reknowned for few words and large weapons is the cowardly commander of the Engalgoons! Did you notice how he was conveniently unable to join them when he sent them into almost certain death against Rashak?
- Not satisfied with ultimate power in the Fastness, Clementine has been trying to subvert Shoka with her 'Box of Joy' and thus gain control of Newhaven.
- Which Master-ranked Weaponsmith has admitted to manufacturing "restraints for Hobbits"? And is there some terrible tie in with the five Hobbits found dead over the last two months in Seagate?
- Rumours also abound that Wordsmith's trousers become highly agitated whenever Haann is around regardless of whether Haann is wearing pants or not.
What's Hot, What's Not
Hot
- Rock Hugging
- Renunciation of Pacts
Not
- Slurpy Monsters
- Giant Cockroach Spit
- Illusionists
- Angry Obsessive Compusives
Recent Adventures / News in Brief
Knight Defenders of the Eastern Marches Announced
These worthy Seagate Guild Adventurer have been ennobled and titled "Knight Defender of the Eastern Marches (Eastmarch of Brastor). They are entitled to bear arms and have their Heraldry lodged with the MMHS College of Heralds.
The new Knight Defenders are
These worthy knights are additionally charged with the building of a Fort in the area of Pardeau's Crossing and Chapel Crossing by the end of Summer 808. This will provide a base for troops that will patrol this area and maintain the laws of Carzala.
Amber the Witch not a Witch !?!
In her recent role as liberator of Novadom the adventurer Amber the Witch was closely examined by several of the Church Knights also present at the siege. After several polite inquiries, not so polite inquiries, shouting matches, examination of the tools, subtle diplomacy from Sabrina, less-than-subtle diplomacy from Engalton, and more shouting, Amber the Witch was discretely examined by Sister Joy in the Fields of Slaughter and declared not to be, in fact, a witch.
Needless to say there was some confusion on the issue. Brother An Empty Mind Breeds Heresy tried to clarify the murky situation. "What the Church in general, and the Inquisition in particular is concerned with are those individuals who have for reasons of their own aligned themselves with the Powers of Darkness. These are witches. That the term 'witch' also applies to a branch of hedge wizardry is an annoying peculiarity of semantics." Empty Mind went on to further clarify the confusion in an effort to relieve the fears of adventurers and the occasional worshipper of the 'Old Gods'. "They are not our enemies and have sometimes proven to be valuable allies in the fight against the true evil ones of this world. While we do not agree with their sad devotion to these ancient religions, we feel it is only a matter of time until they come round to us."
One wonders if it may be in the best interests of the guild for a recreational park of undead to be set up to ensure the church continually has something to fight and so maintain their current 'relaxed attitude'.
Wild Hunt Resurrected
The presence of the Drow warship 'Star of Naggeroth' so intimidated Engalton and Sabrina that they enlisted the help of the Elven Court of Elvandar. Upon hearing of the presence of drow upon the mainland, the Elvandans mobilised their 'Flying Hunt' to deal with the matter. Thanks to cunning and artful diplomacy on behalf of Sabrina, the hunt did not pause to deal with 'local issues' with the High Court of Eidelon, nor engage in any recreational hunting on the way down through human territories.
With the aid of the Elvandan chivalry, Sabrina, Amber and Bleyze were able to capture and hold the Star. They report that the sea lanes about the area will be much safer as a result.
The Elves returned to Elvandar to celebrate and talk of raising their master Khaine back to the mortal realm to reclaim 'That which was lost.'
Rashak not deemed Evil Enough for Elves
A regiment of Elves recently camped just south of Finns Waste in Northern Carzala. A representative of the Times spoke to them as they camped and they confirmed that they are heading to Masada to combat a growing Evil. When informed that the Evil was defeated and Rashak was dead, the Elven Commander reported that Rashak is merely a pawn and her death is the portent they had been waiting for, the true Evil still exists and will be defeated.
We can also confirm the rumours that the Elves are collecting the fabled Regailia of Sigismund and it turns out a piece of it was hiddin in Finns Waste for the past 400 years. Negotiations have continued with representatives of the Western Church who hold a number of Signet rings and as a result rumours about that the Unified Western Church is not as unified on this as was expected. Missives have also been delivered to the guild requesting that the sceptre of King Sigismund and its bearer meet with them close to Masada in the first week of Thaw.
Missing Colony returns to Cazala
A group descended from a number of knights who went on crusade with Sigismund the Pious have emerged in the Duchy. They had been living an isolated life under the low mana area known as Finn's Waste northeast of Seagate.
Apparently their underground habitation was only viable through the use of one of the missing pieces of regalia recently reclaimed by the Stone Elven army marching towards Masada.
While their homes and other buildings remain underground they have moved animal stocks up to the edge of the forest and have removed the roof to let light into their subterranean world. The Duke has defined the area encompassed by Finns waste as a new barony and the newly appointed Baron Sebastian Dewinter (formerly a Duke of Aquila) has been sworn as a vassal.
The new barony has been named Winterstadt in honour of the new Baron.
Columns and Articles
How to tell if the combat is big
Many adventurers have a large bandolier of potions, wierd crystals and other funky things they are saving for 'a really big combat'. Some adenturers have trouble realising when the big combat has come and so hoard their items despite the desperate screams of their companions.
So, here are a few tell-tale signs that the upcoming battle justifies the use of a rare one-use item or nine.
- Are you outnumbered by an order of magnitude?
- Are there more elementals than party members?
- Are there more more demons than party members?
- Does the first rank look like they have more special things than you?
- Does the front rank look like they have more special abilities than Sabrina?
- Are there more mages of one college than the party?
- Does the enemy have siege weapons?
- Titans?
- Dragons?
- Are you fighting in an otherwise inhospitable area?
- Are you surrounded (what some call a target rich environment)?
- Is half the party already dead?
- Or on the other side?
- Is there an argument over who'll get nominated for Star of Allusia?
For each condition that applies the combat is probably big enough for you to definitely consider using up an item for.
Guild involved in MMHS troubles?
The Times understands that shortly after a Guild party entered the Royal Hospital for the Insane in Mittelmarkhauptstadt, an explosion of some sort badly damaged the building, resulting in numerous injuries and significant destruction of property. Several inmates also escaped during the confusion, and the party were not seen again.
Some hours later the Hospital was further damaged as flames engulfed the records area and gutted most of the basement levels. The fire was deliberately set, and the arsonist -- one Brother Bernado, a Raphaelite friar and staff-member at the establishment -- was detained by city authorities. Because of his confused and unstable mental state, and apparent insanity exhibited during questioning, he was later remanded to the care of the Royal Hospital for an indefinite period.
Duke Seeks Vassals
In the wake of so many deaths amongst the landed gentry in the war against the Dark Circle, and -- at least as some cynics are claiming -- the Ducal War Chest reduced to farthings and promissory notes, his Grace is seeking new vassals: people with a love of Carzala, a desire to be numbered amongst its aristocracy, and very deep pockets.
Duke Leto has announced that he desires to fill a number of positions made vacant by recent hostilities, including a number of Knight's fees, and that he is also making a number of new fiefs available, in areas that were formerly Ducal "crown" land.
Some critics, interviewed by the Times, claim that this is merely a revenue raising exercise, and told us that although the new fiefs are technically within the area claimed by the Duchy of Cazarla, they are for the most part in rough and uninhabited wilderness areas, or at least areas not inhabited by humans and other civilized races. A high level source within the court disagrees -- at least on his Grace's motives -- and has told us that the Duke is "most desirous of these being more than mere paper titles", and sees them as a "foundation for a new era of peaceful expansion and settlement within the Duchy".
Whatever the Duke's motives, the Times does understand that there are considerable debts outstanding on some of the fees, and that new vassals will certainly be expected to pick up the tab. Further expenses can be expected enforcing the "Duke's Peace", housing garrisons, protecting settlers in the acquired area, and undertaking the other manifold duties of the nobility. The news is not all bad however; the new Knights will have the duty of collecting taxes, a past-time that has proved lucrative for many.
So, if you are already a wealthy resident in good standing, or just a rich adventurer looking for a place to call home, and you have a desire to swear fealty to Duke Leto, become a landed Knight of Carzala, and get a fancy title such as "Lord Swithan", or "Lady Artusian", or even "Lord Half-Born", then this may be your opportunity. We understand however that no fiefs in or around the Fastness of Girwyllan are being made available, and rumour has it that the Duke may already be in negotiations with an inhabitant of that area.
Guild members who are interested in discussing the matter further are directed to Ozbert Pennywise, the Duke's liason with the Guild Council, and will need to be able to provide personal documentation, references and testimonials, and financial information.
Add to out of game contact details on back cover: Ozbert Pennywise (martin.dickson at gmail.com)
Unseasonal Cold Weather
In the Duchy of Brandenburg local residents are reporting the coldest weather on record. Altred Reagle(Age 97)a local farmer reports that this is the coldest he has ever seen for this time of year. When local astrologers were asked they replied with a no comment, although a number have been sighted leaving the duchy aparantly heading south.
- Reported by James Tabler of the Kerrick County Enquirer
Further to this story a number of guild astrologers have recently been seen purchasing passage on ships heading to warmer climes. When they were asked about the unusually cold weather they replied ...
" Cold ... no i wouldn't really call it cold it is more of a kind of lack of warmth kind of thing ... "
" Well you see when you get this kind of northerly inversion layer heading south and it meets with the dense humidity of a gulf flowing in a southerly direction such effects are perfectly normal ... "
and these are two of the sensible replies ... This reporter is wondering what are they not telling us and should we all be stocking up on fire wood ???
Ernest your intrepid SGT reporter
Headline text
Classifieds (Selling Services and Stuff)
For Sale
Due to an extended refit the Voidcruiser Hull of "This Space for Rent" is availiable for purchase on easy terms. Hull is garunteed completly seaworthy and/or modifiable for flying conversion. Contact the Sword's Worlds embassy in Tycho for details.
Magical realm requires Queen
Ever wanted to be queen of your own Kingdom? Do you have what it takes to rule thousands of people basking in their adulation? If so please contact Dramus c/o the Guild. Elves and Fae creatures only need apply.
dramus at dragonquest.org.nz
Wanted to Buy
Good prices paid for magical ingredients, or exchange for Gut Busters -- wide range of flavours available -- amulets or other minor items. Particularly sought are fangs from enchanted repiles (hydra, wyverns, dragons, etc), primary flight feathers from enchanted avians (pegasi, gryphons, rocs, etc) -- extra paid for phoenix feathers -- and the tentacle tips of giant squids or kraken. Please contact Mortimer Graves c/o Mortimer's Emporium or the Guild.
martin.dickson at gmail.com
