The Great Sperm Race

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Summary

Adventure: The Great Sperm Adventure
GM: Jeff Leddra
Session: Summer 810 wk
Night: Wednesday
Level: Medium

The Party

1. Zanak - A young human male Pirate who likes to acquire pretty dresses. He engages in Healing and being a Mind Mage (scribe)
2. Dwork - Bodyguard, male prostitute and wielder of a massive flaming glaive. Over-powered, over-sexed and over-here. For hire - in soo many ways
3. Theodonna - A Namer and looks like a female human, but isn’t quite
4. Falco - A Human Celestial, known for disappearing when the going gets tough
5. Koffi - Gnome Binder and his Golem

Employer

Onitu – An Avatar of a God

Mission

Travel with Pesrm on a dangerous journey. Should he reach the end alive AND achieve his goal, each surviving party member will be granted a wish

Pay

Granting of a wish. Ability to regenerate 1 point of Fatigue per hour – Permanent. Regenerate 1 limb (once) instantaneously – Paid for up front. Rank 20 Greater Enchantment 20 x 20HP healing potions, spread equally among the party. 10 x 10P Restoratives, spread equally among the party. Standard guild rates.

Dear Diary

Zanak stepped out of the Temple of Healing and strode towards the guild headquarters with a sense of renewed purpose. Even though he was a week late to join the best quests he still had high hopes an exciting adventure would come his way.

As he wound his way through the early morning streets of the poor quarter he let his mind wander back over the teachings he had learnt in the past 3 months in his private padded room. Upon completing his last adventure (Ground Zero Day) he had been mentally shattered by what his fellow guild members had put him through to escape the grip of a mad god. Not only had he been repeatedly physically abused by the mad god, but his party members (the male ones) had joined in. Admittedly Zanak had been in the possession of a Black Card of Fate from the Prince of Fates making him irresistible to men when entering a tavern, but he had worked hard for almost a year to avoid any bars or tavern like structures.

He had felt a great sense of pride on realising he alone could locate the mad god, while the rest of his party floundered in the dark. He realised now that Koffi (an evil binder Gnome masquerading as part of his guild party) had been secretly planning the ingenious downfall of the pirate for many days, and that Koffi had swayed the rest of the party to go along with his plan. It made complete sense that the other men must have been coerced into the heinous act of betrayal perpetrated on Zanaks young body. The many months of physical and psychological healing were helped along by another gnome who made Zanak see how evil Koffi really was. The gnome never gave his name but he made a compelling argument as to Koffi’s guilt.

Of the remaining male party members Dwork was the only one who had garnered any respect from Zanak. Dwork had the unique ability to change gender after each sexual encounter, and so he wasn’t affected by the Black Card as he was already in his female form. Zanak hoped Dwork would be at the guild house so his next adventure would have a friendly face on it.

During his stay at the temple the healers had helped him progress in the art of Healing from rank 4 to rank 5. They had also tried to teach him the error of his ways in being attracted to every sparkly bauble he came across. Zanak was feeling quite pleased with himself for only “acquiring” a few additional healing potions from the temple. He had managed to resist the allure of the golden chalices and crosses left carelessly lying about. They also tried to instil some more trust in his fellow party members. Little did they know the gnome would sneak into the pirates padded room each night in the wee dark hours and preach from a different book. It frequently surprised Zanak how the gnome managed to get in and out of his room, unnoticed by the rest of the patients or the staff.

As he approached the steps to the guild entrance his sense of danger started tingling. Whether it was the impending mission or the group of people he would need to risk his life with, he couldn’t tell. He paused for a moment and ran though his personal mantra of calming, centering his consciousness and preparing for the worst.

He stepped through the door.

1st of Meadow - Mission Briefing

The rest of the party was already waiting and had been discussing the powerful figure standing in the center of the room. His name was Onitu and he was an avatar of a god. From all accounts he didn’t appear to be mad, which brightened Zanaks mode considerably. His companion looked like a god with his powerful physique and muscular body. He occasionally seemed to blur into another shape which reminded Zanak of a giant sperm, but that just couldn’t be right. His name was Pesrm.

The party consisted of Theodonna, Falco and Dwork. Zanak felt the danger sense still sounding in his head and as he peered into the gloom of the corner he saw a Gnome step forward. Koffi came over and clapped Zanak on the shoulder before moving off to talk to Theo. A sharp and familiar voice sounded in Zanaks head saying “Don’t attack him yet. There are too many witnesses. Wait till we are on the adventure and you can blame his death on some enemy or an accident.” Wise council Zanak thought and he suppressed his desire to strip the flesh from the gnomes body.

Theo had checked out the quiet companion and had determined he had only 40 hours to live. He was almost sentient and he appeared to be a God Sperm. Knowing too much of the sexual desires of at least one mad god, Zanak decided to keep a goodly distance between himself and Pesrm. Theo and Falco quiz Onitu but learn very little about where we are being asked to go to, and what actually needs to be done. They do find out though that we can each have an illusion to blend in (We will look like sperm, but a lesser version of Pesrm), we will be able to hold our breath 3 times longer than normal, we can regenerate 1 Fatigue point per hour (Permanent) and regenerate 1 limb (once) instantaneously. He also gives us a rank 20 Greater Enchantment each.

We all agree to accompany Onitu and Pesrm. As a last parting comment Onitu states he will die in the act of taking us back to his master, but he is not concerned as he will have fulfilled his purpose in life. None of us bat an eyelid over his impending death either.

We all hold hands and Onitu closes his eyes and says a single word. He dissolves onto the floor and we all black out.

Packed in like Sardines

We awake in a dark cramp tunnel. Falco casts withchsight for Zanak, who was the only one who couldn’t see anything. We are surrounded by hundreds of sperm and we are packed in very tight. There is barely any room to squirm, let alone move about. There is a vibration to the tunnel which is getting the other sperm all excited. They all appear to be incredibly gorgeous (as sperm go) with a mixture of female and male. They positively exude sex appeal. There are a few misshapen ones though. From what Zanak learned in his Healer classes there are likely to be half a billion in the tunnels around us. Pesrm is holding onto Theodonna. Dwork and Zanak get in on the deal while Falco holds onto another friendly sperm. Koffi decides to go it alone. Regardless we all gather together and wait for the impending explosion we all know is coming.

And in we Go

The power behind the explosion is thunderous as we are swept along the tunnel. The g-force is so extreme we nearly succumb to unconsciousness. As we get expelled into another dark cavern Zanak gets ripped from Pesrms side and ends up on the outer edge of the cavern. Falco and Theodonna start to sparkle, as do the rest of the sperm. Zanak, Koffi and Dwork don’t have a sparkle yet and begin suffering some damage. The cavern floor , sides and ceiling are coated in a glistening liquid which has an acid effect on us.

The tunnel looks to be about 2 miles long and half a mile wide. It is sloped and there are strange looking mountains are the far end. There is ice and snow on the sides. Looking above us there are females in white cloaks eyeing us up. Pesrm tells us to stay away from them as they only exist to kill sperm. They are called phagocytes and are non sentient.

Needless to say Zanak finds himself perilously close to the walls where the sperm killers hang out. He has a sneaking suspicion Koffi shook him loose from Pesrm as they arrived in the tunnel. In his attempts to get back to the center of the mass he pushes another sperm into the path of the white cloak chasing him. The white cloak takes the sacrifice and rips it apart. Pushing the other sperm though gets Zanak stunned and he falls over. He gets up quickly though and races towards Pesrm again, getting repeatedly stunned as he bumps into other sperm (kind of hard not to given how close we all are).

Koffi’s latex suit is dissolved by the acid and he takes damage. Dwork has changed to female form and he cosies up to a male sperm for the sparkly protection. Koffi finds a friendly sperm but is “merged” with it instead of being protected. He is now in a female sperms body with his own mind. Zanak gets desperate for a friendly sperm and even tries for the bisexual ones, but he gets rejected at every turn. He finally succumbs to a white cloak but manages to use his last remaining Gold Card of Fate to escape death. He appears next to Theodonna in full health where he can hear Pesrm saying “lie low, stay still”.

Pesrm comments that they don’t like to be called sperm. They go by the name Candidates. We clump together and the last of us gets a sparkly glow (Whew!).

The Mad Dash Forward

We wait a few more minutes and then the Phagocytes begin falling apart. Pesrm calls out “Lets Go” as the main body of the candidates steams forward. Some more White Cloaks drop from the ceiling at incredible speeds, devouring the candidates on the outer edges or ones that don’t seem to be smart enough to stay in the main group.

The stampede goes on for 30 minutes till we get near the end of the tunnel and it narrows down. The acid we had been swimming through is getting weaker and the sparkling dims, which is a good thing as the white cloaks had been using the glow to home in on the candidates.

As we approach the end of the tunnel we can see lots of Black Masked Phagocytes gathering to intercept us. Pesrm tells us they are liek suicide bomber who utilise percussive explosions and ice shards. The path gets really steep and narrows down to only 600 feet. Some of the candidates get stuck on the walls and die. Soem get free but are driven insane and they attack the candidates near them, zapping and killing them.

A Black Mask rockets into the group and aims for Pesrm. He runs away so we follow. Falco is somewhat braver than the rest of us and holds his ground. He gets the Black Mask into a shadowhole. One of the insane candidates strikes for Falco but he dodges in time and escapes, leaving the candidate next to him to get zapped.

The Tentacles of Death

As we reach the tip of the slope we are pushed into a lake. It isn’t very far to the other side where a huge cliff awaits us. Pesrm says there are Seminal Phagocytes under the watery surface and they will crush the life from you. His advice is to “swim very fast”. Falco changes to Fish form and darts across. Pesrm, Theodonna, Dwork and Koffi dive in and swim across with ease. Zanak, being the proud owner of a magical dress which allows him to walk on water, plans to race over the lake surface. Koffi encourages him to do it. What Zanak neglects to realise is the lake is not filled with water and so his “walk on water” effect quickly turns into sinking and thrashing about. One of the Seminal Phagocytes reaches forth a tentacle and begins to crush Zanak. Using his trusty sabre he cuts through the tentacle and he swims to the cliff edge. Part of the tentacle is still attached to his leg and his foot is going numb, making it hard to climb. Falco pitches in by shadowholing it, allowing the pirate to continue climbing.

Just before he reaches the top a Black Cloaked Phagocyte descends from the roof and ensnares him. They both fall off the cliff face and float on the lake surface. Zanak quickly slices the creature open and starts climbing up the cliff face again. Theodonna and Koffi work in unison to place Walls of Forbidding and Adhesion on the cliff. One knocks other candidates off the cliff while the other traps them and makes them easy bait for the rest of the Black Cloaks. Falco tries shadowholing the Black Cloak but Zanak slips off the wall again, falling directly into the Black Cloak in its dying throes. They both disappear under the lake surface for a moment.

Zanak finally breaks free of the dead Black Cloak and swims to the cliff again, feeling pretty tired. Another tentacle reaches up for him but he deftly slices it off and finally gets to the top of the cliff. Resting for a few seconds he thanks his fellow party members for helping him through that difficult trial. He reminds himself though that Koffi encouraged him to “walk on water”. That damned evil Gnome!!!

The Many Passages of Opportunity

We enter a small 20 foot wide passage. There is a nasty gel on the sides of the passage. Pesrm says we need to go through in single file. We get through without any mishap. The short trip gives Koffi time to boast to Dwork that in his new body he is now stronger then the Ork. We also notice many of the candidates are changing sex as the journey progresses.

The small passage opens into a four pronged intersection, each path leading forward. Candidates dart into each tunnel. Pesrm seems unsure which tunnel to take. Theodonna puts up another wall of forbidding. Lots of fellow candidates die as the gel turns into blobs and they suck the life from the trapped sperm. Zanak uses telepathy to identify lots of Black Gel Blobs in the maze. Pesrm decides to take the 3rd passage and we wander down a short distance before it splits in 2 directions. Pesrm is still confused on the right path to follow. While he decides Zanak does a short Limited Precognition and is nearly overwhelmed by the infinite possibilities. He does seem to recollect one particular future where Koffi is the last survivor and he is ripped to shreds in the most satisfying way. Quietly in his mind he relishes the images but confesses to the party that he cannot see any practical way forward.

Pesrm finally decides to go right but almost immediately he retreats and goes left. Theodonna is taken by surprise as a Black Gel Blob leaps out and touches her. Falco reacts quickly and shadowholes the offending Blob. Theodonna appears to have no mind so Koffi picks up her body (now that he has this strong body we should really put him to good use, just like a mule). Almost instantly Theodonnas body tries to strangle Koffi. He throws her to the ground. Zanak Mental Attacks her. Koffi ties her up and carries her on a golem.

Where is Theodonna?

Theodonna comes to inside a gel blob as it re-emerges from the shadowhole. She can sense other smaller minds in other gel blobs making up the whole body. The best she can manage to gain is a very limited form of control over the whole Black Gel Blob creature, and it stands still. The strain is too much and she looses control. The Black Gel Blob wanders around and encounters some candidates, which are quickly despatched. One of the candidates it has killed gets up and wanders off.

Theodonna has switched her mind with the Candidate and runs away from the Black Gel Blob. She wanders around, evading nasties for quite some time.

Suddenly she is aware of the location of her body. As she comes to intersections in the maze she can sense which direction will lead her to her body. This newfound sense of elation is quickly tempered by the desire to stay alive as the paths still hold Black Gel Blobs trying to enslave her mind. With no small measure of cunning she makes her way back to Pesrm and the party, only to be confronted by Dwork attacking Pesrm, Zanak trying to knock Dwork out, Koffi delighting over a jar with a peanut sized brain (and Koffi making jokes about Dwork), Falco and an unknown hobbit attacking a Black Gel Blob.

What the Hell Happened?

Dwork kindly leaves a trail for Theodonna to follow, if she returns near there. The trail is made of copper coins and Zanak takes a moment to wrestle with his conscience. Should he pick them up or should he leave them? After the others notice him eyeing up the loose coins he takes the more moral path, claiming he was always going to.

As we round another corner a green translucent ball drops from the ceiling and whizzes around Falco, trying to touch him. Zanak does a limited Precognition. He sees the ball merging with Falco with no ill effect. Shortly after the group runs into a Black Gel Blob. Pesrm dodges it. Dwork gets consumed by it and attacks us.

Falcos’ DAs let us know it is a “Memory T Cell”. He reaches out and touches the ball. It merges with him. His aura is slightly tinted and he seems to be attractive to “Killer T Cells”. The Memory T Cell was attracted to him because of the nature of his ShadowHole magics. A second Memory T Cell appears. It darts passed Zanak and hovers around where Falco was. He is standing still and so has become undetectable. Pesrm moves on as we get a group of Candidates blocked up behind us. Koffi lays down some Adhesion to give us a bit of breathing room. Pesrm, Dwork and Koffi move on.

Zanak, remembering that Falco has saved his life several times in previous adventures, remains to defend Falco. Zanaks sword passes through the second Green Ball with no effect. The ball continues to hover. After a few seconds the Candidates begin surging forward again and both Zanak and Falco need to race ahead to catch up with the rest of the group. The second Memory T Cell merges with Falco.

Sebastian Silver

We round a few more corners and run into Sebastian Silver, a Hobbit who has no shadow. We pause for a moment to find out who this character is and how he got here.

Sebastian was in the guild bar at the time of our hiring. He hadn’t really been interested in adventuring with this party as we looked a bit weird. He looks at the pirate while saying that, noting the bright red dress. He was happily enjoying a sugar drink (and he calls the pirate strange!!!) when he was caught up in the dying avatars transportation spell. He appeared in this maze and had been undetectable, till we turned the corner.

He claims to be an experienced Celestial and to be skilled as a mechanician. He is armed with a rapier and an estoc. He and Koffi, being of the shorter races, seem to hit it off immediately. Zanak takes note of this as he could be a confederate of the evil gnome binder, and is secretly here to help Koffi take advantage of the innocent pirate again...

An Offer of Help

Sebastian joins the middle of the party right next to Koffi (yes there is definitely something up here) and the party moves on, following Pesrm as he chooses tunnels. We encounter lots of dead candidates. They are covered in green gungy stuff. We quickly figure out it is ruptured cell membranes and they were killed by Killer T Cells. Falco looks around nervously.

We turn a corner and are greeted by an Elderly Male Candidate. He speaks to us and tries to lull us into a sense of security. He claims to have been here for several weeks. He had discovered the Milk of the Mother which not only enhanced his chances of survival but also acted like a fountain of youth. He claimed it was a gift from the Mother to the best and brightest of the Candidates. He chose to remain near the fountain so he could help future Candidates on their journey. He claims he can make potions from the Milk of the Mother, which is in a fountain in the center of a room, for most purposes. He lists some as Longevity, Faster, Stronger and Channelling Lightning. Falco asks for a potion to reverse the effects of the Memory T Cells on himself.

The Elderly chap gives us lots of good information on the Black Gel Blobs and the dangers around us. Apparantly the Blobs capture 12 brains and then return to a few specific rooms, where they self destruct. Sebastian asks if a potion can be made to rejoin a brain and a body, thinking of Theodonna, and a potion is quickly made. He pours it into Theodonnas body. The tied up body starts twitching.

It is at this time that Theodonna becomes aware of her body and can sense the right direction to return to it.

Falco DAs the candidate and finds it was created by the Goddess. Strangely only Zanak seems concerned about this development. He suggests killing the candidate but no one pays any heed to him. Instead they all line up for potions. He tries a Limited Precog but backfires and begins sneezing uncontrollably. The elderly candidate insists he leaves the room.

After a bit more talking the elderly guy asks why the clearly more intelligent of us are helping Pesrm. Falco replies that Pesrm is the best of the bunch.

Falco and Dwork take potions to increase their speed, Zanak for curse removal, Koffi to detect enemies approaching and Sebastian to locate the nearest Black Gel Blob suicide room. None of us take the potions though.

Zanak and Falco ask if there are other benevolent creatures from the Goddess in the maze. We get no answer from the elderly candidate.

Theodonna Rejoins the Party

We leave the room and a few minutes later we encounter another Black Gel Blob. Koffi gets his golem to put Theodonnas body down and to attack it. Sebastian, being of smaller stature, climbs onto the golems back. Together they assault the Blob. Dwork joins in but fails to resist the creatures touch. His brain is transferred to the Blob. His body turns and chases Pesrm up the tunnel. While Sebastian and the golem keep battling the Blob Zanak races off after Dwork and throws lots of mental attacks at the Ork. Dwork resists them all. Koffi jokes about the size of Dworks brain in the blob (it is quite small, only peanut sized) then decides to help in subduing the Ork body by casting an Unfastening spell.

Theodonna, still in the candidates body, calls for Pesrm to stop running. After Sebastion and the Golem finish off the Blob, Sebastian sneaks ahead and helps Zanak subdue the rampaging Ork body. Sebastian leaps onto his back and removes his helmet, hoping to sap him, but gets thrown off at the last minute. Zanak finally get Dworks body subdued and tied up.

As the group reunites Zanak comments on how the closer Theodonna gets to her body, the more it thrashes around, which kind of excites him, since the body is all tied up. Theodonna takes exception to this and hurls a lightning bolt at him, thanks to her candidate body. Zanak says “well if i’m going to be punished for the act, i might as well do it”. He proceeds to lift his dress and get ready to take Theodonnas body there and then. Zanak does see Sebastian sneak up behind him and stab him in the butt. Needless to say the pirates urges are curtailed.

Zanak has a quick look around and sees Koffi laughing. Clearly this is evidence that Sebastian and Koffi are working together . He puts Sebastians’ name on his hitlist.

Theodonna races off to the Elderly Candidate to get a potion to help Dwork get back to his own body, which he swallows immediately and upon physical contact his brain is put back in his Ork body. Theodonna is about to touch her body when Falco determines a side effect of the potions is a suicidal urge. She holds off switching back to her body for a while.

Some More Help

We continue on, following Pesrm, and utilising the Golem to destroy any Black Gel Blobs we come across. Falco suggests using the dead Blobs to coat our armour as they give protection from the green slime on the walls of the tunnel. We all follow his lead.

A Killer T Cell drops through the roof and Falco immediately stands still, becoming unseen. Sebastian talks to it and finds out it is after the creature with the shadowhole spell. Not being able to locate it the Cell rummages through Sebastians mind but only finds a strong love for Sugar, in every form. Sebastian very quickly focused on his sugar fetish to keep the Killer T Cell distracted. Zanak knocks it out and the party runs away.

We encounter another Elderly Candidate at the entrance to a lovely room. It has a chocolate fountain in the middle and skewers of Fresh Fruit lying on alcoves on the side. Sebastian is immediately “enchanted” by the chocolate and takes a skewer and dips it in the flowing liquid. It is the BEST Chocolate he has ever tasted. Of course now the downside is every other chocolate won’t taste as good as this. He does feel energised though.

Falco has an extended chat with the candidate where he claims to be serving the Goddess by enabling the most intelligent candidates to get through the maze. Consuming the chocolate will enable us to see a clear and safe path. Sebastian dives into the fountain and consumes all the chocolate he can. Even Koffi, his co-conspirator, is surprised by the Hobbits gay abandon. Despite this we all take a small pouch of fruit and chocolate with us on the journey.

The party thanks the elderly Candidate and departs, following Sebastians directions.

No sooner have we rounder the second corner but we find ourselves trapped by 7 White Cloak Killers in front and 5 behind us. Dwork , Falco, the golem and Theodonna make quick work of the enemy in a frenzied battle. Zanak is nearly killed by the group from behind, no thanks to Koffi and Sebastian who use him as soft cover from the dagger throwing killers.

As if the pirate needed more proof of their duplicity...

Stepping around the next corner we encounter another Black Gel Blob.

Dwork Blobs Out Again

Dwork rushes the Black Gel Blob in an attempt to knock it over so we can all slip passed. As expected he fails to resist the Blob effect and his brain is once again sucked into the creature. His body wanders back to us.

Sebastian graciously heals Zanak. Koffi slaps Theodonna (she had fallen unconscious a moment ago). Zanak quickly knocks out the mind in Dworks body and we approach the Blob to search for Dworks brain. Sebastian eventually finds it (it was quite small after all). He pulls it out of the gel body and it starts to die. He wraps it in a cloak with some gel. This seems to work.

Koffi suggests transplanting Dwork brain into Theodonnas body, which is still tied up. Theo is aghast at this suggestion

Note to self – Theodonna may become an ally in the war against Koffi

Sebastian uses the last of the brain switching potion, mixed in with some wine, to transfer Dworks brain back into his rightful body. Theodonna decides now is a good time to return to her body. We untie her.

Pesrm calls out to keep the Ork and the blob apart or the brains might switch back. Too late!

Dwork looks at the parties fumbling attempts to return him to his body and decides he should take matters into his own hands. He uses a talent or some such to turn into a goat. This surprises us all. Zanak does a limited precog and thinks Dwork will be ok.

Guardians Galore

We follow Pesrm and meet a guardian after about 5 mins. She has 6 arms and looks quite attractive. She has a test of intelligence for us. Only the right answers will get us passed her. Sebastian Dwork and Koffi do really well and we eventually answer a question each. She lets us pass.

Dwork has turned back to his natural form, none the worse for wear.

We come to a second Guardian. She begins telling a story while Candidates sit and listen. We join the group and listen intently. Sebastian bothers her with lots of questions.

At the end of the story she allows all to pass, except Sebastian. He has failed the “Test of Listening”. Only polite sperm are allowed to pass, and Sebastian has been very rude.

He joins the next group who sit down for a story but she tells him to go back before she disposes of him. He retreats around the corner. The rest of us have gone passed the guardian but have remained in contact with Sebastian on mind speech. He tries wind walking passed her but she is too wily for him. He gets knocked back.

Pesrm doesn’t want to wait for Sebastian and despite Theodonnas pleas he runs on ahead. Zanak races after him so that they don’t lose him. He isn’t as fast as Pesrm and quickly loses sight of him. Zanak returns to the party. We decide to walk back passed the guardian and rejoin Sebastian to look for another way out. Zanak seems a little perturbed about losing Pesrm and mistakenly insults the guardian, before getting passed her. Oops. She doesn’t let him passed. With nothing else to do he turns and starts the hunt for Pesrm again.

Zanak wanders for quite some time, not seeing any trace of Pesrm. He manages to avoid some Black Gel Blobs and comes to a small room with an Elderly Candidate again. Being rather suspicious of these Candidates he asks for a potion to locate Pesrm. He turns to leave but finds the door to the room has disappeared. Turning again he finds the room empty. Now where did that Candidate go to? The walls start closing in so he grabs another potion bottle and fills it with raw unadulterated “Milk of the Mother”. He takes a sip and concentrates on teleporting to the party. He reappears in the middle of a startled group.

Getting out of the Maze

The rest of the group heads back and finds another tunnel to follow. Within minutes they have come across a White Woman Sphinx. She asks the group to answer a riddle to move beyond her. Should they answer more than one correctly they will receive bonuses. Surprisingly the party breezes through the riddles and earns the bonus of protection. She lets them pass.

At the end of the passage a huge cave opens out before them. It is filled with white trees. There are many candidates already in the cave. As they bump into a tree it bursts forth with light and blinds those who don’t resist. The unfortunate candidate to touch the tree shrivels and dies. White birds dart in amongst the branches and pluck the eyes out of the blinded, who then bump into more trees.

If it wasn’t for the death and chaos it would have been a lovely sight.

As the group ponders their course of action Zanak reappears in their midst. He is naked with a few amulets. (what has the pirate been up to?). Taking no chances they tie him up while he is unconscious.

Sebastian uses a slingshot to throw a stone at a tree. It flashes with light, blinding himself, Koffi and Falco. Three birds race in their direction. The party retreats back into the tunnel while Theodonna puts up a wall of forbidding.One of the birds gets through and aims for Koffi. Lucky for him his golem reacts and smashes it to the ground.

Theodonna DAs Sebastian and finds out the blindness is permanent.

Zanak comes to and offers to cure their blindness with some of the “milk of the mother” in his potion bottle. It works and Theodonna gives him a spare dress. Zanak takes back all the nasty things he had thought about her and calls her his friend, something she is not to keen on.

Sebastian was greedy and wished for the best eyesight possible, whereas Falco and Koffi only asked for their eyesight to be restored. Sebastian can see shadows of Candidates in the tunnel. They appear to be undead shadows and there are 6 of them. Falco concentrates and he can perceive them too.

After some useless debate Zanak points out he can locate Pesrm in the mass of Candidates in the Cave. We walk in slowly. Something happens in the distance and we all need to resist fire damage. Sebastian is the only one to fail. There is a stampede of Candidates coming back towards us. There is a Turban Headed Candidate in their midst.

2nd of Meadow

Into the Cavern

Zanak senses a female mind in the distance thinking “the ambush has started”. This seems peculiar so he mentions it to the party. We start looking around, avoiding the candidates who rush back passed us, then mill around. From the distance comes a blast of Hellfire and some flashes of light. We take some damage so Dwork fireballs the Turbin Headed chap. He disappears.

From out of a tree comes an axe which sticks to Zanaks dress. Koffi saw an arm pulling back into the tree bark. Zanak pulls the axe off his dress and hurls it back at the tree, where it promptly explodes. He then grabs his cutlass and strikes the tree. That wasn’t the brightest thing to do as he gets sucked into the tree. The party wonders what the pirate has got into this time!!!

Turbin Head reappears and he drinks a healing potion. Dwork immediately fireballs him again. Zanak, still in the tree with no way out, hears the female mind in the distance saying Turbin Head is dead but he should be back soon. She is also wondering how Nepness is going on and if she needs to send Bess back too? Within minutes Dwork is struck by another arm extending from a tree. He quickly slices some fingers off as it retreats. He pulls the axe from his armour and strikes the tree the arm disappeared into. He too is sucked into a tree. The female mind says Turbin Head is back and they quickly discuss whether to continue the assault of to retreat up the cavern. Turbin Head wants to fight on but the female overrules him. They move out of his range to detect them.

Koffi tries to make the tree Zanak moved into transparent but he can’t see the pirate. He detects enchantments on the tree and identifies that a person had moved through it with a special item. Once he left the tree became a trap for the unwary. The party mills around for a while thinking of ways to free the Ork and the Pirate. The best they can think of is to go back to an Elder Candidate and get some “milk of the mother”. Zanak decides to swig the last of his “milk” and wishes to be out of the tree and with the party. He reappears. Dwork doesn’t have any milk to get himself out.

And Back Out Again

We go back into the maze and find another Elder Candidate. There are 10 teats expressing the “milk of the mother” in the room. Zanak quickly grabs one and wishes for his eyesight to be returned. Theodonna starts to DA the rest of the teats while the party talks to the Elder Candidate, well all except Zanak of course. He greedily drinks from the same teat and wishes for Dwork to be with us. He falls over paralysed and begins aging rapidly.

The Elder Candidate looks sadly at the pirate and offers to “recycle him” to save the party the hassle. Drinking from the same teat can only lead to death. Koffi takes a drink from the same teat and wishes for Zanak to be restored.

This is clearly a part of his devious plot to trick the Pirate.

Nothing seems to happen to Zanak. Bruno, Koffis favourite golem, suddenly says “I am ALIVE”. This comes as quite a surprise to Koffi and he quickly recounts (silently) all the things he has had Bruno do, desperately hoping Bruno doesn’t hold a grudge. Bruno actually is quit bright and identifies that the milk has a random effect. There also could be some chaos in play too. Theodonna lays down a Chaos Counterspell which seems to solidify what each teat does for a few minutes. After some serious DA’ing and a few rounds of counterspells to reset the effect, Bruno gets an item which can sleep, control and apply telekinesis to a person. Theodonna gains an enchanted ball of string which will find anything she desires. Falco gets an item that can reverse the flow of something, or reverse something that has already happened. Sebastian is very secretive about what he got.

The teats start decaying and the Elder Candidate crumbles to dust, so we leave.

Falco Saves the Day

Falco removes his blindness as Theodonna uses her ball of string to locate the tree Dwork is trapped in. Bruno kindly offers to carry the body of the still paralytic pirate. Once we get to the tree Falco reverses the effect which has trapped Dwork, saves Zanak and reverses Sebastians blindness.

Zanak leads the way to Pesrm but it doesn’t take long before he stumbles and hits a tree. He starts shrinking and sparkly lights envelope him. They have the effect of crystalline miniaturisation. Once again Falco saves Zanaks butt.

Zanak ponders over how many times Falco has had to save his bacon in the last half dozen adventures. Perhaps Zanak should be more careful?

Anyone Up For a Swim?

We get through a small entranceway and are confronted with a cave filled with a very thick liquid. Pesrm has been through here (according to the pirate) but we can’t see the far end. Swimming in the depths are some very nasty looking fish. They race up and rip the slower Candidates apart. We realise in a swimming race we would be very slow. The group makes plans to get through this dastardly trap.

Koffi, Dwork, Sebastian and Theodonna take some time to learn some shrinking spells while Falco switches to Fish form. Zanak decides on a different approach and chats up a female candidate. They share a kiss and then they merge. The group is surprised when the female candidate says “I feel funny”, then shudders and dives into the cave. It would appear that Zanaks mind was weaker than the candidate and has been suppressed. Falco plunges after Zanak and they both make it to the other side. Zanaks Candidate has a few bite marks. In the next chamber there are women with webbed feet who offer to make candidates less detectable and who then push them to the side and into alcoves. Both Zanak and Falco see a huge white snake enter the room from the other end. It kills all candidates on contact so they quickly take up the womens offer and are escorted safely to the alcoves. They awake to an empty room and quickly swim through the exit.

The other four have been blockading heaps of candidates and finally let them free. Koffi has Theodonna (rat form) and Dwork (butterfly form). Sebastian swims through, tied to Koffi. Theodonna casts several walls of forbidding to block the other candidates, creating a feeding frenzy for the savage fish. Bruno walks along the bottom with little hassle. They get to the next room ok but ignore the womens offer for protection, instead they swim on a bit. The snake appears again and takes a swing at Sebastian, who narrowly dodges it. Falco uses the symbiote to communicate with Koffi, telling him to accept the womens offer. They do, just in the nick of time.

Falco tries to convince Zanaks candidate to wait for the rest of the party but she won’t have a bar of it and races on ahead into the next cavern. She gets hurt by the gas in the next cavern and finally returns to Falco for some healing. The rest of the group catch up. Falco checks Zanak but can’t find his mind in the body. Deciding Zanak is too submergerd in the candidate body he reverses the merge and Zanak pops out.

Caverns of Death

The next cavern has draining and fear in effect. We decide to take some healing potions and risk it. We get through without any problems. The next cavern has lots of different types of baddies whizzing around. There are floating heads, white clocks, lightning balls and fast women with spikes for hands. We try to run through first, using Dwork to blast areas clear with fireballs. A floating head explodes near Zanak, covering him with poisonous goop. He uses his dress to wipe the goop off, then has to discard it when the goop starts burning through the material.

Deciding this is a mugs game, we use Koffis magic carpet and Falcos Shadow Wings to fly across the cavern. Once again Zanak has a spot of bad luck and flies directly into a lightning storm. It explodes and he is stunned. Fortunately the shadow wings get him to the exit and land for him. Bill, one of Koffis golems, doesn’t make it through.

The next cavern is an icy wasteland. Visibility is very low but we can see some Ice Hawks (suicide bombers no doubt) and some polar bears. Just before we enter we hear a voice coming from the top of a mound, saying “want to talk?”. There is a gnome who has the same candidate illusion on as we do. We talk and find out the Avatar has sent at least 3 groups, protecting different candidates, on the long journey to claim the prize. We feel a bit aggrieved.

Bielm, the female gnome, was ambushed by a turbin headed adventurer and her Candidate was killed. All of her party was killed and their bodies were looted. She joins our party. Zanak has a quite word with her to watch out for the male gnome (Koffi) as he is really an evil binder. Bielm thanks Zanaks words of wisdom by casting an illusion of a clown outfit on him. He was naked and this sort of thing distressed her.

We move on into the cavern but are quickly surrounded by 40 or 50 weak minds on either side. They are Ice Skeletons but are easily despatched. The only trouble we have in this room is the “Whistling Winds” which can cause a Column of Ice to surround you. We race on a half mile and find Pesrm trapped in an ice column. Sebastian reverses the effect and frees him. Pesrm is convinced now not to race on without us.

Bruno takes on the name of Silver in honour of Sebastian.

The Chamber of Minds

We follow the direction Theodonnas ball of string leads us in. Just before the exit to this cavern is a small rise with what looks like a crater. Using Theodonnas crystal of vision we can see the 4 adventures Bielm warned us of. They are sitting in a circle around some yellow symbols in the snow and they appear to be completing a ritual. Zanak confirms their minds are in the crater and that they are very focussed. There is a female woman in red armour, god old Turbin Head, who is an elf, a dwarf in leather armour and a small human girl. Zanak indentifies this as the voice Turbin Head argued with earlier and the groups leader.

On the top of the crater lip are 6 ice columns. Falco sneaks to the lip of the crater and DAs the magical aura of the ritual. It is some sort of major sealing ritual. We decide to attack before the ritual can be completed.

Koffi gets out Arkmed the suicide golem and orders him to drop an acid grenade on the baddies. He succeeds but there is no apparent effect. Zanak confirms the minds are still there and are focussed on the ritual.

Just as we decide it is a trap most of the party needs to resist hellfire. We keep taking damage for a few pulses as we mill about confused. Dwork leaps forth and bounds down into the crater smashing into one the characters. The illusion of the little girl pops. Zanak is very confused as he can still sense their minds right were the illusions are. Bielm confirms they are all illusions and then she peers about more and decides some of the columns are illusions too. Sebastian lepas on one column and knocks a surprised Red Armoured human to the ground. Arkmed hits a column with Greek Fire and Turbin Head falls out, shrieking in pain. Dwork runs over as Turbin Head falls unconscious, he puts out the flames and ties him up. The human and the dwarf surrender shortly after the young girl disappears.

We interrogate them.

Bess is the human female in red armour. She is a Fire Mage and specialises in Hellfire. She has her eye on Dwork Turbin Head is an elf called Nepness. He is an Earth Mage with a special axe. He specialises in Strength of Stone. The dwarf is called Orsis. He is a necromancer who also specialises in Hellfire. The girl was their leader. She is called Ilieth. She is an illusionist. She has no doubt gone on to help their candidate get to the egg.

The mind trick was done by using 4 special caps sitting on top of small poles. These had illusions around them of the people. Each cap was worn by a person and their thoughts were recorded. They all concentrated on a ritual and then hid inside the ice column illusions, waiting for us to blunder into their trap. They hadn’t counted on a suicide golem, and enraged ork and the gnome who can see through illusions.

The three of them offer to join our party as their only way out is to side with a group who can get their candidate to the egg first. They only wonder why Zanak is naked under his clown illusion. Theodonna finally takes pity on the pirate and lends him a shirt. Koffi hardens it.

Bess and Dwork talk about making love (or rutting like pigs, depending on the mood) but he cleverly makes her tell him about the red wig she is wearing. It is a symbiote which grants her special powers in bed. The only down side is the wig tends to kill her lover as she orgasms.

We tie the three captives up and match them with us. We head off to the left again and almost immediately trigger an underground trap. Theodonna, Zanak and Sebastian fail to resist and earn a “burden of damage”. This will cause extra damage the next time we take damage. Theodonna bravely pricks her finger and aborbs the extra damage in a controlled environment. Zanak and Sebastian follow her lead. They all have healing potions to make them feel better.

Bess tells Dwork that Ilieth is a shape changer who uses wire thin spikes for traps. Right after that Dwork notices a pit as he falls in. Bess is tied to him and falls in too. Dwork takes a bit of damage. We pull them both out and neutralise the poison starting to ravage Dworks body. Dwork is a little upset with Bess for not mentioning the traps before...

We decide to take a windy route to the end of the cavern and avoid any more traps.

Into the Egg

There is a 100 foot long tunnel ahead, warded by a Rune of Agony. Theodonna counterspells it and we get through. Inside the tunnel are dozens of dead and dying candidates. Most have been ripped apart which we suspect is Ilieths doing. Zanak sees a candidate on its dying breath and decides to make out with it. All that happens is the candidate dies and Zanaks body becomes dead too. Zanak is still able to move and function like before but it is clear some sort of goddess energy is keeping him all together.

The party is shocked by what Zanak has just done and demands an explanation. He says he still wanted a more superior Candidate body and he thought in its weakened state he had a better chance of being in control of it. It seemed like a good idea at the time, he says.

In Zanaks mind he can hear the small voice trying to convince him Koffi had something to do with the Candidate dying.
Zanak is slightly confused as he had been keeping an eye on Koffi, suspecting him of foul plotting, and he didn’t see him move.
Maybe the voice in his head is not as benevolent as he thought.

Zanaks spell shave all ended with his bodies death so he no longer has a greater enchantment, or things like mind speech. He casts mind speech but backfires. Bess is now in control of the parties mind speech. Not such a good idea.

We reach the end of the tunnel and in the next cavern we can see a 20 foot sphere floating in the air. It is glowing with the strongest light and energy we have felt in this place. We quickly determine this is the goddesses egg and Pesrm is about to leap forth when we spot an illusion on the floor in front of us. Specks is told to drop a grenade on to the illusion. The illusion vanishes and a slow acting whirlwind vortex strikes us. Falco, Zanak and Silver (the golem that used to be Bruno) fail to resist. Silver falls apart, Zanak has a few limbs fall off (but thats ok as it doesn’t hurt) while Falco is saved by Sebastian.

The egg is totally surrounded by naked female forms calling out to us to come inside and enjoy their embrace.

Pesrm doesn’t hesitate and he leaps in. Bess follows. Zanaks head falls of so Falco kindly kicks it in. Theodonna, Dwork and Koffi follow. Sebastian, Falco and Bielm wait for a while before plunging in.

Dwork is not the Brightest

We are all asked by a disembodied voice what our purpose is. Only Dwork, Pesrm and Bess answer with some nonsense about procreation. They also happen to be the only ones who escape the frozen doom under the lake. The three of them awake on the shores of a frozen lake. They are surrounded by trees and hillocks. There are very tall cliffs in all directions and the sky is multi coloured. In the distance they can hear dozens of wolves being lead by a figure on a sleigh. The closest candidates to the wolves are easily being ripped apart. Glancing into the lake they can see the rest of the party members frozen in horror, except Zanak whose head seems to be looking directly at them. They can’t see Sebastian though. Perhaps he is deeper in the lake?

Dwork tries drawing on Mana but nothing happens. Dwork and Bess use some sharp rocks to chip the ice away from Zanaks head so he can speak. The pirate suggests using the powers of creation which are no doubt in abundance here. Dwork and Bess interpret this as Tantric Energy so begin having some serious nookie. It doesn’t take long for the energy to build up in them both. Tehy use their power to melt the ice so the bodies can be pulled free. All except Zanak are still unconscious and refuse to wake.

Dwork grabs Theodonnas ball of string and commands it to find the safe way out. Sadly the ball falls apart. Not a good sign.

Bess and Dwork build up some more power. Zanak looks the other way. Dwork finally remembers that Theodonna can resurrect herself so he unselfishly kills her. She comes to and thanks him. Zanaks head make some rude comments about killing Koffi so Theodonna momentarily picks it up and stuffs it down Koffis trousers, and not on the good side... Zanak stays quiet for a while, sulking.

Theodonna, Bess and Dwork work up some more tantric energy, much to the delight of Zanak. Theodonna manages to wake the rest of the party while Bess skilfully sews Zanaks body bits back together (the arms, legs and torso had appeared in the lake).

Theodonna and Dwork figure out that in this place you can make up your own rules, so if you will something to happen, it happens. Dwork doesn’t quite grasp this fully and insists on casting spells which inevitably fail.

We all put on wings and fly across the landscape. There doesn’t appear to be any way out. The figure on the sleigh is a construct of an elderly man with a stunning array of weapons. He has almost finished slaughtering all the remaining candidates. Koffi flies directly up to the sky and hits a barrier. He drops liek a stone and barely survives.

Suddenly all the air disappears and we can’t breathe. Bess creates a bubble of force around us which helps. Outside we can see a bear like figure covered in tattoes. This is Ilieth in one of her shape changed forms. As she races towards us Theodonna casts a portal to safety. Just as we depart Zanak realises he could have wished for his body and items to be returned. DOH!

Koffi Rules

We awaken in stone cells. Each cell is sparsely furnished. There is a fur rug on the floor, a small wooden table holding a potion bottle and some incense. There are murals on the walls of trees, snow and lakes, very similar to the land we just escaped from.

Each cell has a locked door with a small grate opening looking down a long corridor. The corridor opens into a vast arena complex. We can see a glowing sphere in the middle of the arena. There are 10 cells spread around the arena with a seated gallery running around the enclosure. There are thousands of ghostly Candidates in the gallery, waiting expectantly.

We call out to each other looking for a plan, but Zanak decides to drink the potion. It doesn’t do much good as it simply leaks out of the holes in his still dead body. Realising he is still almost naked he dons the fur from the ground. Dwork puts his on too. Pesrm calls out that we should purify if possible as this is likely to the last battle. Koffi finally wakes up (took him long enough) and we all rest and purify for the hour. During the hour Pesrm and Koffi see images of the history of the land. Each wooden door, apparently made from the “one tree”, reveals some words. Only Pesrm and Koffi can read it. The phrase is “What is the origin of Iron?”. Pesrm figures out the answer but is too slow as the phrase changes to “What is the origin of the nine diseases?”. Theodonna turns to rat form and leaps through the grill. She starts scampering down the corridor. Koffi pulls some trick and unlocks his door. Before he can open it he hears the door in the cell closest to him burst open. He pauses for a few pulses and then opens his door. Ilieth, in bear form, is standing outside his cell and promptly skewers Koffi. Theodonna turns back to human form but she is on the opposite side of the arena to Koffi and so she can’t help him very quickly. Dwork turns 2D and slips out of his cell.

At this point Pesrm calls out that the cell doors have unlocked so we all leap out and run down the corridors. Koffis golem defends him. Falco is closest to Koffi so he runs through an adjoining corridor which links them all without entering the actual arena to help Koffi. Tehodonna identifies the sphere as the Final Goal, ie the egg.

2 Other Candidates emerge from their corridors and pick up weapons form the wall rack on each entry to the arena floor. They immediately begin fighting each other. Dwork stumbles into the fray. Koffi runs towards Falco, leaving his golem to distract Ilieth. Koffi and Falco meet up and dash back to Falcos main corridor and dart into the arena. Bess is close to Dwork and she helps him in the vicious combat with the Candidates. The 2 candidates seem to be remarkably strong and pretty much ignore Dwork and Bess for a while.

Pesrm races to the center of the arena but as he gets close to the egg he slows down to a crawl. It is clear to us all that only the last standing Candidate will be able to get to the egg. Theodonna also can’t get to it.

Ilieth destroys the golem and races to the arena, only to bounce off a force field at the end of the corridor. She howls in rage which causes Pesrm to glance her way. Pesrm immediately picks up a weapon and bounds towards her. Just as Pesrm reaches the barrier he turns back and races off towards Zanak. Pesrm now has some tattoos on his body. Koffi calls out that Ilieth may have taken control of Pesrm and he and Falco run to help Zanak.

Zanak sees Koffi race to defend him and the little voice of “Koffi Destruction” in his mind curls up and dies. It would seem the pirates psychosis is healing

Dwork finally gets the Candidates attention and suffers for it. He gets blasted and knocked about pretty severely. Bess tries to cast Hellfire but fails.

Zanak stands his ground and successfully mental attacks the two candidates, Ilieth and Pesrm. Koffi, still merged with a candidate body, sees the egg light up and he changes course to reach it. As he gets close he is pulled into the sphere and disappears. The rest of the party feel the effects of a blast of light and they become insubstantial like the failed sperm in the gallery. They float up to the seating area. All bar Zanak that is. His dead body seems to be confusing the effect. He races over to the sphere and touches it calling out to Koffi to come back. He turns to dust.

The party members all black out as they feel themselves being wrenched away.

Koffis Final Wish

Koffi, being the candidate who successfully impregnated the egg, is granted a single wish. Luckily for the party he uses it for the greater good and wishes for the party to be returned to Seagate in whole and healthy forms.

We all wake up in a strange frozen land. Koffi explains that some outside force snatched us here while we were being transported to Seagate. There is a frozen lake beneath us and a snowstorm the likes of which we haven’t seen before. Nearby we can smell some smoke so we head in that direction. We find a small hut with an old woman inside. She invites us in and offers us some dried fish. she explains that she is a guide for people who enter this land of the spirits. She asks what we are doing here. Between Koffi and Falco the story unravels. Incidentally all of us, except Koffi, still have the sperm illusion going on.

The old lady tells us about the history of this plane and how Sorcerers are evil and Shamans are good. Sorcerers are generally evil men who practice healing using the power of the gods (she spits!) and who have mastered the elements, particularly cold. They all have sorcerer belts with a purse or copper pipe.

Falco quietly suggests to Zanak that he cast Telepathy to get a feeling for our guests intentions. He tries but backfires. He feels unusual. Theodonna DAs him and finds he is pregnant. The old lady asks Zanak if he is a sorcerer. He denies it but his previous clumsy attempt to seduce her (as the group entered the hut) has put her on edge and she demands he leaves. She also kicks out Theodonna.

Koffi finishes the tale of the candidates and the egg and asks her for advice on how to get home to Seagate. She points us to Louki, the Lady of the North, who was made pregnant by the North Winds and bore 9 sons. Each turned into a disease, which incidentally was the answer to the second phrase back in the arena. Louki is a week long trip away on foot. She gives him a box with a beating heart in it, from a creature of the forest, and tells us to deliver this to Louki for her. She also gives a trinket to prevent Louki killing us on first sight. She then kicks the rest of the party out and they catch up with Zanak and Theodonna who now have a very large bear as an escort off the property. Zanak and Koffi share “eyes of the Basilisc” with the party members who have no resistance to the cold. Even Bess gets one. Falco casts Shadow Wings on us and we fly north for 2 days worth of walking distance before the wings start to freeze up.

The North Wind swirls around us and we can hear faint voices. Koffi tries to mold an igloo but backfires. He is pregnant also. His second attempt succeeds. Inside Theodonna divinates us as we wait out the storm. Koffi and Zanak are both 16 weeks into the pregnancy and we are all cursed with being prone to pregnancy on a backfire.

Dwork and Bess get busy again. It is a very small igloo so we kick them outside. This doesn’t bother them and they continue under a tree. Dwork changes to female form and they both end up pregnant. A Dryad looking at them from the tree finds it all very strange. Dwork talks to her but she runs away at the mention of heading to Louki. The storm intensifies so the two of them return to the shelter of the igloo.

Theodonna uses her banishing staff to return us to our homes. Falco, Zanak and Bess disappear. Koffi, Dwork and Theodonna fail to leave.

The winds pick up and a clear voice can be heard saying “come out into the snow”. Only Koffi resists the hypnotic effect. He struggles to keep Dwork and Bess inside the igloo but he fails after a few minutes. Outside a wolf is calling to him to stop resisting and surrender to the winds. He claims to be working for the Mistress of the North (Louki) and he can get them there quickly.

Dwork and Bess burst forth from the igloo and dissolve into the wind. Koffi refuses to surrender but agrees to ride the wolfs back as they head to Louki. The wolf is very fast and they quickly come to a sheltered clearing with a log fire burning and food in abundance. Dwork and Theodonna are sitting peacefully having a snack. The old lady feeding the fire calls herself Louki and appears to be a pleasant enough person. She has an intense hatred of Gods though. Koffi tells the story and she agrees to send them back to Seagate. She gives Koffi a snowflake and warns him that he may be summoned back.

We all meet up in the guild building and congratulate ourselves on surviving another adventure. Bess has been returned to her home.

Administration

Loot and Boons

• Some mind caps
• The equipment of the 2 itemised adventures in Koffis possession
• A couple of potions not drunk by party members.
  • From the milk of the mother
  • From the Arena

Expenses/Used Items

• “And In We Go” - Zanaks last Gold Card of Fate – Escape Death

Keeping up Standards

Standard Buffs - Party

• Greater Enchantment Rk 20
• Shadow Form +30 Defence (Falco)
• Fire Armour + xx (Dwork)

Standard Buffs - Individuals

• Witchsight (Zanak – supplied by Falco)

Standard Marching Order

• Rank 1: Dwork
• Rank 2: Theodonna
• Rank 3: Koffi and Falco
• Rank 4: Zanak

Standard Watches

• First: Dwork and Theodonna
• Second: Theodonna and Koffi
• Third: Koffi and Falco
• Fourth: Falco and Zanak

Nominations and SGT Snippets

Possible Award Nominations

Smartest

Bravest

Stupidest

Best Death

Progress per Session

• 16/12/09 – no play
• 23/12/09 – adventure starts
• 30/12/09 – no play
• 06/01/10 – Zanak nearly killed, no thanks to Koffi and Sebastian
• 13/01/10 – Figure with a Turban races towards us
• 20/01/10 – no play – Mini adventure from Broken Heart to resolve Zods misdeeds
• 27/01/10 – Anyone Up for a Swim?
• 03/02/10 – Ice Skeletons approach
• 10/02/10 – We captured some baddies
• 17/02/10 – We escape through a portal
• 24/02/10 – Adventure Finished
• 03/03/10 – Mini Adventure to resolve Zods Problems

Treasure Roll Order

1. Zanak (69)
2. Dwork (88)
3. Theodonna (77)
4. Falco ()
5. Koffi (93)

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