SGT808-3

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Editorial Room for the Winter 808 Edition

Quotable Quotes

• "You chaps are awfully closed minded and open scabbarded" - Haann Uberriech

• "Who wrote that piece of doggeral?" (referring to a poem) - Morgan.    "The dragon" - Haann.    "It's fantastic!" - Morgan

• "It's only evil until YOU want it." - Douglas

• "I know he is an evil mind mage but sometimes this can be the lesser of two evil's" - Lucius

• "we still haven't worked out how to use this God Slaying weapon yet." - Anooke

• "I don't think that Dragon is telling us all the truth." - Lucuis referring to a Black known to covert secrets

• (to employer) "Oh, it's no trouble. We're full-service busybodies." Haann Uberriech

• "And if you're lucky, I'll show you my Jade Staff" - Haann

• "Never underestimate the ability of a guild party to scank up the works" - Morgan

• "Where did you get your cool clothes?" - Haann.   "Our primary ability is illusion." - Videl (dragon in elf form)

Willard the Oracle: "You have one free question. After that, you will have to perform a Quest before I answer any further questions?"

Party-leader Brock: "Do you have a list of people who've visited you previously?"

Willard the Oracle: "Yes I do have a list. Did you want to go on that quest now?"

Party-leader Brock: "Doh!"

Party-leader Brock: "Can you see ugly things through your Crystal of Vision?"

MilSci Aryan: "Dunno! Stand on the other side & we'll see."

SF to Aryan: "How Zen! To disarm your opponent, you first disarmed yourself."

Darian: "We have to get the hostage out first."

Lath: "Which hostage?"

Darian: "The party leader."

King of the Djinn: "But teleporting dwarves is so ... (um) ..."

Fr Kit (helpfully): "... unhygenic?"

SF: "Not many imperial capitals can pull of a convincing Rustic look nearly so well."

Lath, to Fr Kit: "I'll absorb that death buzz, to absolve you of the guilt."

Fr Kit: "Guilt? Glee!"

Father Broc to Priest Darien: "Do you administer to your Flock?"

Priest Kit: "Yes, nothing like a good flocking."

Party-leader: "Where's Aryan?"

Sir Kit: "He went into town for a shag with Darian."

Aryan: "Can you provide any [whispers] sisters?"

Madam: "Yes, that'll cost 1500 silvers."

Aryan: "Why so much?"

Madam: "We have a high standards here. The chances ladies from the same family entering the profession & both becoming highly skilled is rare."

Count Aryan: "What, just two? Are there any cheaper brothels in town?"

Fr Brock: "This doesn't feel right."

Sir Kit: "That's just me relying on Aryan to watch your back."

SF: "Not many imperial capitals can pull of a convincing Rustic look nearly so well."

Lath: "And I'm giving up clouds unless there's charity involved ... preferably charity work involving shirtless torsos glistening in the sun."

Priest: "That's not charity, but Lath's lust talking."

Silverfoam: "Isn't Lust one of the "multitude of sins" that charity is supposed to cover?"

SF: "They're attacking anything that looks like a foe ... or Sir Kit."

Sir Kit: "Hey, i'm foeish; averagely so ... in fact, foe par."

As the party concocts cover stories ...

Darien: "Plausibility is important."

Kit: "Deniability is more important."

Lathe: "Loot! ... That was an observation, not an instruction."

Insidious Rumours

Lucius Most Wanted
Warrants and a reward have apparently be issued against Lucius for insurrection, sedition, fornication with foreign powers (Fae) and general depression. Although the charge of fornication seems dubious to any one who has actually met the suddenly popular and financially secure E&E.

Dragons side with rebels in Elven civil war
Provences are reported to be in open revolt with nobles being forced to flee as there palaces are sacked and burned. Foreign mercenaries and unidentified elven military units are on the march and have engaged loyalist forces on several fronts. The dragons and Fae are rumoured to be supporting these insurections by outlawed cultists and disenfranchised peasents.

Elfenburg Burns
Foreign elves have destroyed huge parts of the city occupying civil buildings and unleashing chaotic interdiamensional magics. Museums have been plundered of antiquities, sacred objects sold to common mercenaries and valuable mines siezed for the Beltan war machine.

Water Mage gets Trident Envy
It is rumoured that a certain darkskinned watermage is turning green after her best friend arrived back sporting a really fancy trident and exceptional skills in using one. "I'm being outclassed by a firemage" she was overheard saying.

What's Hot, What's Not

Hot

Wielding the Swords of Ascendancy

Travelling via Ent

Healing God potions

Sacred powerful artifacts

Dragons as allies

Exsanguination Counterspells

Not

Guild Members Wielding the Swords of Ascendancy

Lack of trunk space in Ent

Having to feed Gods healing potions

Explaining possession of sacred powerful artifacts

Dragons as enemies

Exsanguination College

Recent Adventures / News in Brief

What I did on my holiday.

A guild party comprising Anooke, Douglas, Eltan, Lucuis and myself Serra Angelus travelled into the Elven Empire this autumn on a mission of mercy to save a god, a god who had been struck a mortal blow by some meddling Orcs. Our aim was to create a potion to heal the Laughing God and prevent a breach of the Covenant of the Gods thus avoiding a premature start to the Last War.

A brief visit with Elvandar royalty out in the Cazarlan countryside was followed by an audience with Master Alchemist John Pontanus who was able to provide us with a list of the ingredients necessary to create a potion to heal a god.

Travelling via portal to Bergelfen we dined with the Beltan, the newly returned warrior caste before proceeding to an orgy thrown by the Minister of War in Eidolon. After a day of negotiations we presented ourselves at the Tower of the Betrayer where we obtained the use of three of the Swords of Ascendancy. Hurried on by divine messenger we then proceeded to the province of Lalhaudh where we slew the first of the great evils we were to face this season.

A tour of the northern wastes and a hike up a glacier was next on the itinerary with a brief stop at an ancient temple to destroy its guardians, high priest and avatar of Savnok. An exotic drow brain BBQ was served on the ruins of the temple and then it was then on to purge a picturesque mountain village full of drow necromancers and daemon summoners before returning to the resting place of the Laughing God with the ingredients for the potion.

Realising the brew need a touch of eggshell it was a quick Ent ride to the slopes of the volcano known as the Mountain of Baal where we frolicked with the majestic phoenix and overnighted in the workshop of legendary shaper Alan Smith. Back to Lalhaudh we all took part in an ancient local ritual, and, in the morning were given the honour of wrestling with the God.

Having completed our mission the party, seeing the province in disarray after the Orc raids, decides to lend a hand in the rebuilding. A breathtaking cloud trip to Artzdorf was undertaken to trade with John Pontanus with a minor detour on the way back to travel into the void and recover artefacts stolen by the Calimar after a raid on Bergelfen.

The party's charitable donations and new investment opportunities are met with joy by the Lalhaudh people who take us into their hearts, gifting us houses and estates. As part of the redevelopment we traipse into the Dragonspine Mountains to reopen the old light crystal mines only to find them infested with goblins and the hunting preserve of the black dragon Anghamerabad. A trek into the depths of the mines and a night spent chatting with the old Elven god of magic provides us the inspiration to send the goblins packing and turn Anghamerabad into an ally.

Antiquing and gardening pursuits are postponed by the arrival of an invasion force of Elves labouring under the mistaken impression the province is in open rebellion led by members of the party. After polite explanations fail we are forced to beat the commander with the clue stick and together with the level headed civilian leader of the expedition direct the troopers attentions to the proper way to ensue the provinces protection in the name of Queen and Empire.

Crises averted we settle into our new digs to tackle the mundane problems associated with re-energizing a failing economy until the next guild day and a return to training.

Serra Angelus

Plague removed from Setagen

A plague, of magical origins, has been removed from the city of Setagen on the Isles of Freedom. It was caused by some sort of ritual designed to sap lifeforce, especially when the moon was new. A Guild party was successful in destroying the ritual responsible which was instigated by a Calimar. Once the ritual was gone, the city was purged of the plague. A warning was also passed to this reporter that Guild Members who are pacted should take extreme caution when travelling to the Isles as there is a danger of the Pact being compromised.