The Bloody Murder of the Foul Prince Romero and His Enormously Bosomed Wife

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Summary

Employer: Deacon The Wicked and Unholy shalt be Purged by Flame

The Mission: The Western church has recently been admonished from the highest sources to give the agents of the Powers of Darkness 'some breathing room'. Entreaties as to if this room could be rather small with no ventilation fell on deaf ears or whatever it is that angels use to listen with. Needless to say the Urielite Inquisition is all for following the letter of the order while in reality doing no such bloody thing.

Operating on the principle of 'Set an ex-blood drenched evil dabbler in affairs most wicked to get the rest of the bastards.', they have hired Viola to seek out the guilty and to terminate them with extreme predjudice, or even more preferably, extremly sharp cutlery.

Viola has been asked to investigate the towns and surrounding areas of Artzdorf, Fairtown, Dunny-on-Marsh and Bath and Wells.

Viola intends to adopt the guise of a travelling entertainers (Alusia's Strongest Man, The Bearded Lady, Dancing Bears etc) to avoid the enemy suspecting them.

Party - maximum of 6

  1. - Viola, an ex-blood drenched dabbler in affairs most wicked - played by Bridget
  2. - Ben, a princess guarding acrobatic tiger boy
  3. - Mebh, a lady well versed in weapons - played by Julia
  4. - Anooke, a barbarian eskimo(hobbit) ice mage
  5. - Cher, The elegant dancing suarime - played by Sean English
  6. - Aqualina, Dusky maiden specialising in acrobatics, dancing, contortions and escapes - played by Keith

Level: Mostly medium-high. Although anyone willing to wear greasepaint with an ambivalent attitude to custard and whitewash will be considered.

Since I will not be attending the Guild meeting please join up here. The game will be on Tuesdays at the GM's house in Glen Eden. Start time 6:30 pm. Any questions, please email me.

Scribe Notes

  • Viola - the reformed - Party Leader
  • Mebh - the holy warrior - Military Scientist
  • Anooke - the halfling
  • Cher - the lizard
  • Aqualina - the wet - Scribe
  • Ben - the tiger

1st Fruit

Our party employer was a severe looking man dressed in purple who introduced himself as Deacon The Wicked and Unholy shalt be Purged by Flame - and no, that wasn't the name his mother gave him. Nope .. that's his holy name. Because that was a bit of a mouthful, we decided to call him Deacon Wicked. I spent the next five minutes smirking while thinking up really embarrising holy names, especially when shortened, such as Sister Harlot.

We were told that the situation in the Western Kingdom wasn't an official famine. Also the new King was going on about the Law of the Land .i.e, the law was the same no matter who you are. He seemed to think that was a bad thing.

He suggested that we should head to the local Church of the Powers of Light and continue the discussion there. When we got there, we discovered that there was an argument going on between a Michaelite and a Gabrielite over which was correct - 'Strength gives Unity' versus 'Unity gives Strength'. The pulpit was being used as a discussion point, and also seemed to be effective as an improvised weapon. Personally I think the latter is correct.

Once the ... erm ... debaters had crawled away to lick their wounds, the problem was outlined. They basically wanted us to investigate various cults and deal to them on behalf of the Church but to do it in such a way that the Church isn't held responsible. So I guess if we're caught, the Church will disavow any knowledge of our actions.

There had been rumours that some of the Artzdorf Mages Guild had 'done deals'. That led to the question of how we were going to identify such evil doings. So Deacon Wicked told us about an item at Rothmans Abby that could assist. Other 'cults' that they wanted checked out was Doctor West the Necro at Fairtown, a group in Dunny-on-Marsh in the Ffenargh Swamp, and a Cult of Sanmulites at the Black Abby of Barth & Wells. And I thought the Sammulites were on their side, but apparently, many of the Church of Lighters only recognize the original four.

Mebh then asked for, and received, a barrel full of holy water, roughly 10 cubic feet of it. Blessings of us and our weapons were also offered. I got my dagger/maingauche done (-5 to strike the unholy / rank of maingauche counts against damage). I was also dubious about the blessings on us but when I was told that that the Gabrielite Blessing involved an agility boost (+4) I went for it. Been looking for the agility of an elf for a while. Unfortunately that also meant I couldn't get a Greater. I knew I should have read the fine print. Plus the Blessing felt really icky going on - as if I had just swum though a patch of oil.

Once we were done, we went shopping. Food was still a bit scarce but I was able to score three coconuts. While I was doing that, I got approached by someone from the Temple of the One Horned God who knew me and what we were up to. He told me to check out Chisholm before melting into the crowd.

Transport was the next thing to sort out. There was only so much we could carry on Mebh's cloud so we went looking for a cart. What we discovered was that in the stables as Amtrack, the sentient carriage - and it had the reputation of having a really bad temper. Viola managed to persuade a junior E&E to talk to it and we discovered that it was frustrated because it wasn't achieving it's purpose - to grind the unholy under it's wheels. The cart was a golem that had picked up a vengeful spirit during activation. When we told it what we were about to do, it was quite happy to let us take it - well - as happy as a creature with a nasty disposition could be I suppose.

  Aqualina - "Do I have to dangle a necromancer in front of it to make it go?"

It was only a short trip to Rothmans Abby to pick up the item which proved to be a full helm with no eyeholes. Just for a joke I waved my hand in front of her face and she said she could see me. She could also see Viola but the others, as well as the attending priests were conspicuous by their absence. Apparently the wearer can only see those of dubious morality - and the more dubious the more visible they are. Well ... morality is only relative.

Back to Seagate and Viola and I went costume shopping for outfits for our acts. Speaking of acts, Mebh was speculating on using the helmet to shoot arrows off my head. We also managed to obtain a very large barrel which I could swim in as a performing mermaid.

Once finally prepared, we flew off, by cloud, to the vicinity of the Ffenargh, landing near a traveller's inn then driving in by a self propelled carriage. That was when we discovered Amtrack had a mouth.

  "What does it eat?" - Cher
  "I suspect anything it wants" - Aqualina.

At the inn, Anooke bought a live chicken off the innkeeper then fed it to Amtrack. All that was left was a flurry of feathers. I was wondering what was going to come out the other end - and where that other end was so I knew where not to stand.

We spent the night at the inn, for no charge. One room, and we kept watches just in case someone tried to kidnap us to get the Havenite bounty.

2nd Fruit

The next morning we took the carriage to the Ffenargh, thirty miles away to the west. Somewhere in there, there used to be an elven city, but I guess it's now under the swamp. There is, however, a Temple to Crocell - said to be the site of Crocell's Ascension. When we got there, we were told that the inhabitants of Dunny-on-Marsh roll their 'Rs. Finally got there just before midday found 84 locals, and were fed gator. We were also told that the gators come out at night and people have disappeared in the swamp, including several from the Church, presumably eaten.

So, of course, given that, we were going in - at night. I am so going to have to rank that night vision talent so I can use the goggles properly. That was when I could hear a male choir. Mebh then had to be insulting, insinuating that my association with my people's ancestral spirits was putting me on the path to evil. My retort was her association with the Powers of Light was making her paranoid.

I then created a reed coracle so we could head out into the swamp. That was when I became aware of something whispering in my ear, offering great rewards if I would just follow it's suggestions. I told it to basically bog off as we noticed that the current was pulling the boat towards an eldritch greenish glow. So I created my own mage current but let this one have control - for now. Just then, Cher noticed a deep patch of water, complete with tentacles. We decided to give the swamp kraken a wide berth. My annoyance at Mebh then went up another notch when I discovered that she had been on the same Trials of the Tridents outing that Flamis had so had also received extra knowledge in trident - knowledge that I was insanely jealous of - and wanted to have. Just then, there was a massive 'BOOM' and a waterspout started wandering about. Definitely had to avoid that.

The sickly green glow was getting brighter as we got closer. Just then we saw a large object ahead, and it wasn't a rock. At first we thought it was a large ogre but as we drew nearer it looked like a large draconic gator. It spat gloop at us so we returned fire before going into battle. Mebh gave it a solid swipe and the rest of us follow up. Just then Viola saw a drow sniper on a nearby ridge just as the large suarimes charged in. I managed to get my water bolts going while the others went into melee. To make things worse, a water elemental arrived.

The eldritch glow was coming from a nearby temple building and, for some reason, I got the irresistible urge to walk towards it. The next thing I remembered was that the battle was over.

  "You were being seduced by a god but we poured holy water in your ear" - Viola
  "Which one?" (meaning the god) - Aqualina
  "The left one" - Viola

We wandered into the temple courtyard and found a dead drow. Looked like he was poisoned by his own dart. Part of the temple went down into the water so we swam down into the inner sanctum. There, we discovered a demon avatar and two drow. Mebh called on Michael and we charged.

  "I thought we were supposed to be subtle" - Aqualina
  "Michaelines don't know that 'S' word.  They only know words like smiting" - Anooke

Of course Mebh charged the demon, the avatar of Crocell and proceeded to beat up on it. The rest of us went for the drow. One tried to swim away but, despite the fact I wasn't in merform, because of the armour I was wearing, I was able to catch him and deal to him. After being beaten to within an inch of their lives, the drow decided to surrender.

  "Michaeline's R&R - Recant and Repent" - Anooke

Mebh then un-deconsecrated the altar by jamming her holy sword into it. Unfortunately for her, she had to leave it there. However, once we got back to the outside, there was a Malakim from Michael waiting for her who gave her a new one.

The drow told us that they were scouting out the area for an army from Terranova who were planning to take back the rebel provinces. The Malakim then gave us all another blessing to be quicker (+2 TMR) in the presence of evil. Hmmm ... if we had someone like that in the party, we'd be fast all the time. It was about then we noticed Mebh's sword was on fire.

I made another boat and put a Mage Current on so we could make a discrete exit with our drow prisoners. Mebh then spotted a mushroom circle and, against better judgement - at least in my opinion, decided to collect some. We then sailed back and arrived back at Dunny-on-Marsh. On the way, Anooke hibernated the drow.

3rd Fruit

The next day we put on a show for the inhabitants, including Mebh shooting apples off my head while wearing that helm. However, either this was a very tough audience or something was very wrong as I was quite sure our show wasn't bombing that badly. They just didn't seem very enthusiastic at all, just applauding politely. So, those that could gave them 'the look'. Turned out all of them had the mark of a vampire and appeared to be missing several 'humours' according to the more experienced healers. Yeah ... especially their sense of humour. Discrete questioning revealed the existence of an old drow city in the swamp, roughly in the area where we were.

So we got a cloud and flew back to Seagate. There, we discovered that the drow were from Terranova and they claimed that the stars were right to take back what was theirs. From what they were saying, Terra Nova is one big desert cause all the life force had been used up. Apparently they use life force instead of mana to power their spells. Seems pretty stupid to me but .....

The other notable thing we were told is that there are more drow all over the Western Kingdom, about 500 in total in small groups. Thirty got off Destinian ships at Novadom and another 20 in Seagate. He had no idea how many got off at Freetaun.

My next stop was the Guild Library where I went hunting to a book on known vampires in the Ffenargh. Only one I could find though was written in elven so I noted the title and went to tell Viola. I also discovered that, apparently, the reason garlic repels vampires is that there's a little piece of an elven god in every bit.

Meanwhile Mebh's mushrooms and been divinated and showed to be hallucinogenic as well as being able to be used to foretell the future or make dimensional portals.

4th Fruit

Next day, after a typical Guild breakfast, we made ourselves presentable for a meeting with Duke Leto. We saw Osward, the Duke's secretary, who looked at the report Viola had written about the drow invasion and asked us to deliver a copy to Konigburg as well as to the dwarves in the Superstition Mountains.

Our next stop was the elven embassy to also let them know what was going on, and spoke to Calladen. He told us that drow walk slightly differently from elves and also they small more like overripe fruit.

The rest of the day was spent on a pub crawl so we could go looking for drow. Three were spotted in one bar so I arranged to dance to the local bard's music as a distraction while Viola snuck up behind one and knocked him out. At the same time Mebh did a knockout gas spell and took out at least half the tavern. There was the start of a mass panic towards the exits until Viola announced that this was part of the entertainment and there was a prize for the best funny face drawn on an unconscious patron. Meanwhile the drow, all unconscious, were dragged off. For some reason, Mebh's sword was on fire again. By the time the gas wore off, we were gone with them but 20sp had been left with the barkeep and I had even left a few silver coins in some pockets for the best looking funny faces.

Back to Castle Chilton with the drow where we were paid the bounty of 1000 silvers per drow. They had nothing new to impart but did admit that they were scouting, in the guise of elven merchants. They also admitted to a group just north of the Guild who were counting Guild members who flew in and out on wings etc. There were also some new demons in the area. That definitely raised a few eyebrows.

So back to the Guild to tell them. Of course Guild Security already knew about those drow who were located somewhere in AnteCarzala.

5th Fruit

Next day, guess what we were doing? Yep - scouting the forests of AnteCarzala from the air. I think I'm getting used to this flying thing - not as scary as it used to be. We had been buffed up with Armours of Earth and Strength of Stones before going out and Viola then spotted an illusionary terrain on a hill. We entered and found a hastily abandoned campsite.

Ben also found a dryad in a tree who said "These are the lands of the deva - the Dancer". I had no idea who that was. It didn't even help when we were told he didn't like the others and was also known as the 'Strong Man" as well as a name starting with 'F'.

Tracking the drow told us that they were heading towards the town of Luck then veered off into a copse of trees. I spotted one and Mebh charged in. It was a short fight. One nearly got away and I attempted to run him down but a nearby explosion and nearly stepping into a hole put paid to that. Mebh got him instead.

They were taken back to the Guild where they were stripped of anything useful, including some hydra venom grenados. Their job was to count the guild members going in and out then pantomime their results to another group.

Next stop was the church to see what could be done about this vampire.

  "Any protections from Vampires?"  - Mebh
  "Faith" - Church person
  "She's a bit short isn't she?" - Mebh

On the way back to the Guild, it was noticed that the weather was stormy although, Mebh was convinced it was fine. We concluded that the storm was due to the manifestation of anger. The winds were angry, they weren't sure why, just angry.

7th Fruit

It took us two days to fly to Konigburg by cloud and we landed that evening on the second day in the air. Found an inn to stay in for the night.

8th Fruit

Next morning we attended the King's Court were we discovered a minor ceremony going on. King Ulric was appointing the first member of a new office called the Peace Guard. Apparently they were being charged with keeping the peace city wide. Sounds like a good idea but I couldn't help thinking that there was parallels with what had happened with the aquatic elves last year on the Pasifikan Plateau - and how badly that had ended. Was the same thing going to happen here? So I confided my fears to Viola.

We also managed to identify Chief Magister Crypton from the Artzdorf Mages Guild, the King's favourite general, General Latassus, and a priest of Chantris. General Latassus was an exile from the Lunar Empire, exiled because he was getting too good at what he does. Presumably the Emperor saw him as a threat. The Priest of Chantris glowed brightly through Mebh's helm.

We also discovered that King Ulric was under some sort of magical influence, and was magically trapped warded, or cursed. Probably the latter. I couldn't see anyone standing nearby that was whispering things in his ear though. The general was clean though. King Ulric was currently ordering the beheading of a noble who had been overtaxing his subjects so he could raise an army. I guess he was also removing a potential threat as this noble was preparing for war. Didn't find out who with though.

My musings were interrupted by a knight wanting some sort of favour for a joust tomorrow. I gave him a spare scarf then went back to speculating. Meanwhile Mebh had arranged for a lunch date with the General.

Three separate groups were following us as we headed back to the inn but we seemed to have lost them by the time we got there. Mebh arranged for a 100sp lunch with the General who told us that the King was possessed with the spirits of the ancestors, presumably something to do with Sigismund's Regalia. Now that makes a lot of sense. He also suggested we go to the Lunar Empire and visit Velathia and consult the prophecies.

After lunch I noticed that my memory crystal was cloudy, indicating I had put a memory in it that I wanted to forget. A note was attached saying 'Do NOT access unless something happens to King Ulric'.

10th Fruit

So another two day flight to the Guild where we ditched anything that was likely to cause offense. No way did we want a repeat of what Lizette did, which was still having repercussions for the Guild. Fortunately Mebh was able to arrange for us to take the shorter way in through Logan's portal.. Still cost us 360sp.

11th Fruit

Upon arrival, we went to see Richard the Inquisitor, the personal Inquisitor of Matt Tumbledown. Mebh is very well known around here apparently and they first conversed in an unknown language, Giantish it turned out, being the courtly tongue here, then switched to common after formal introductions were concluded.

Richard arranged for a special pass to get us through the place with little fuss and not having to pay through the nose. Apparently things are very expensive here, including travel. We found Velathia and were told about the prophecy of the Dark Queen rising from the sea who was shrouded in darkness and was due to be destroyed by a sword of meteoric iron. Cher looked a bit ashen and told us that such a sword was actually being forged right now at the Guild ... and it was possible that the Dark Queen was Isil'Eth as she had been crowned on an undersea rock in an area of the Western Kingdom that had been flooded. I think I'm going to have to go and check this area out for myself after this is done. (cf Echoes in Eternity)

There were lots of talk of various prophecies. Velathia had earlier wondered why we were corporeal. Apparently there had been a prophecy that the Western Kingdom was going to be overrun with undead but we had managed to stop the Dark Circle. But then she said that all prophecies are true ... even the ones that contradict each other - so was it possible that Rashak could come back? Mebh said that was impossible but maybe something could arise claiming to be Rashak. The Daughter of Rashak? Rashak Strikes Back? The Return of Rashak?

There was also the story about the fire elemental who had been Lady Catherine of North Haven, who was going to bust down the Gates of Hell and lay into the place with that sword for some reason ... something about failing her brothers who were killed during the Dark Circle thing and her changing into a fire elemental so she could be strong. Cher also knew about that. I think I'd better read up on scribe notes when I get back to the Guild. Maybe there's enough in there to put some of this puzzle together.

My head was spinning with all of this but it wasn't over yet. Our next stop were the blind dwarven seers to get copies of their prophecies. They were talking about the War of Keir Alla Snef with dwarves, humans and elves being involved. Were they referring to the Western Kingdom? The Wolf and the Dark Queen should speak, the Wolf presumably being King Ulric.

There were even prophecies about us. Cher was referred to as the Dragon. And one claimed that I was going to be married at least twice more. Yeah ..... right. As if ...

We headed back to the pub to meet up with Inquisitor Richard ... or as we kept telling Mebh, so she could have her lunch date with Inquisitor Richard. That was when Viola reminded me I had missed the joust. That was definitely a palm on forehead moment. Now I'm so going to have to write a letter of apology, probably claiming I had been urgently called away on pressing business for the good of the Realm. I just hope the poor knight wasn't too disappointed and upset. I started drafting said letter over lunch while listening to the conversations. Quite a few other Inquisitors were also in the bar. Either they wanted to observe Mebh's date with Richard or this was their usual hangout.

Apparently the King was touched with the Hand of Destiny. Plus it was said that the drow invasion was going to happen when the Wayward Prince comes home bearing fruit. Could that be the missing son of the Elven Queen? Or was this something to do with the fact that Queen Meredith was pregnant, and the healers were rushing it along.

12th Fruit

Back through the portals and on to the Superstition Mountains. Of course when we got there, we were served beer and biscuits. I used mine to dip in the beer then to suck on. An old dwarf was brought in on a panequin and we gave him the message from the Duke. They seemed quite happy about the prospect of fighting drow, in fact they had been preparing for it for centuries. They believe the drow will attack when the Twelfth Legion reforms.

Back at the Guild, we discovered that the vampire was a Captain in the Dark Circle and he was buried somewhere in the Ffenargh. Apparently he was turning krakens into thralls.

13th Fruit

Well I thought we were going after a vampire but it looked like the party leader had other ideas. Which is why we ended up heading off in the direction of Bath and Wells, located roughly 100 miles NW of Konigburg. It was fairly easy to spot when we got there as it was a large, fortified, abbey. Upon landing, we asked them about how to deal with vampires and was told to go see Ignatious. That was when we noticed that Mebh's sword was glowing again.

So Mebh put that helm back on. What she noticed that the people were good but the evil was coming from somewhere underneath. Just then, Mebh pointed out that the person serving us lunch was evil. So Viola had a closer look at the stew and discovered there was a sopherific in it. So, I transformed the water into Waters of Healing then we pretended to be affected by it. I think my continual yawning helped sell it.

So we retired to a room to have a 'nap'. Of course we kept alert while pretending to be asleep. A little while later, four big guys and a smaller one entered our room intent on something evil. So, we attacked. Three of them were taken out in short order and the smaller one self immolated. That one was definitely demonic. Mebh then stabbed him and he exploded, showering us all with demon bits. I thought it was a good idea to use a Rainstorm to wash it off me but something went really weird and I ended up being showered with fire. Fortunately Viola's fire counter was able to help before I burnt myself to a crisp.

Our opponents had been vanquished by now and I was forced to sit in the corner so I wouldn't catch anything on fire. Anooke had gone out into the corridor to keep a watch and ended up being attacked by imps.

   Anooke as the imp said something in an unknown language - "Learn to speak Common.  I had to"

I felt something nibbling at my mind. So I tried calling up all my willpower to punt the intruder into next week but it managed to get in. Once the others had vanquished the imps we headed off to see the abbot. What we discovered was a fire rune on the abbot's door which immediately went off. All that was left of the two acolytes that were escorting us were two smoking sets of monk's robes and two pair of boots. The room beyond was a burning inferno with a big spiral whirlpool of flame descending down a hole. So, on Mebh's instructions, I got out my Plaque of the Great Sea and poured a stream of water down it. Viola threw down some holy water as well. That was when the entire abbey shook and we heard a demonic howl of anger. So we all started lobbing holy water down the hole.

Mebh called on Michael and we heard a pure tone. That was when we saw this big clawed hand coming out of the pit, soon followed by a forty foot tall glowing demonic thing. So we bravely went in to do as much damage to it as possible.

We were still slugging away at it when this ten foot long lance pierced it from above. And about time too I thought. Mebh was then able to use the holy sword to close the portal.

While I stayed submerged in a barrel of water, since that fire rain was going to last for the next twenty four hours, the others went searching for loot and the evil altar. Anooke even had an ice elemental dig all the way down where the portal had been. What remained of the abbey was evacuated and the monks told to go and find another abbot to reconsecrate the ground.

An evil hammer was found which had the ability to magically break limbs. It turned out to have an angry spirit inside it. They also found a room with impaled children as well as an altar which Mebh destroyed.

Four hours later, the ice elemental broke through into an underground chamber. What we found of significance was a body and a collection of 'soul coins'. I was told that these coins were accepted anywhere but each coin actually contained a soul. Maybe my thought of cashing them in at a certain temple would not be a good idea after all.

15 Fruit

So it was back to Seagate, another two days by cloud. Upon arrival we took the soul coins and the bodies to the Church. Apparently there's no Powers of Light equivalent of Soul Coins.

16 Fruit

The following day, it was off to Fairtown, located near the Dragonspine Mountains past Borovia so that was another three day flight. Cykerax the blue dragon is somewhere in the area so, despite Anooke's desire for loot, we stayed well clear.

19 Fruit

Fairtown is nestled in a valley surrounded by high peaks which meant that it never got direct sunlight. So the lighting levels never got higher than twilight and it was always cold. There is even a university here.

Upon landing, we entered the town and found an inn. There, we found out about dwarf fruit which was a species of mushroom. So we had dwarf fruit for dinner. Afterwards we entertained the crowd with singing, playing instruments, and dancing.

We also learned there was a scandal in nearby Hope village, something to do with someone managing to cheat in the lottery for the next dragon sacrifice, resulting in the wrong person being selected. Apparently the miller's daughter was chosen when the smart money was on the lumberjack's daughter. That was when, according to Mebh, several guilty people came in. They were the Baron of Untol's men. This Baron is a self appointed one. Later that night, I was approached by the Baron's batman who delivered an invitation for me to join the Baron for dinner tomorrow night. He said that my exploits had reached the Baron's ears. I was getting rather worried by now ... what exploits? And how did he know my name? Fortunately I was allowed to bring my friends. Just as well ... there was no way I was going to go there by myself, without backup. I know what happened to the last person who did that.

20 Fruit

At two am, we were woken up by the sound of an angry mob, complete with pitchforks and flaming torches. Turned out there was a bunch of necromancers raising undead in the cemetery. So we went down there to deal to it.

It turned out to be a professor and students from the university. Doctor West had killed Doctor Hallsley and reanimated him as a flesh golem and was now taking students out on a midnight field trip to demonstrate the raising of undead. During discussions, we discovered that the Baron was a vampire, a fact guaranteed to do nothing for my piece of mind. So we decided to make a citizen's arrest on Doctor West in order to deliver him to the Baron for summary justice.

After breakfast we headed off to see the Baron. On the way up, we noticed that the peasants up here were more pale .. yup .. vampiric peasants. At the castle, we were met by a living skeleton, presumably the butler. Inside, we were conducted to a guy in a throne with two females draped over him. The Baron didn't seem inclined to punish Doctor West for murder and it was soon determined that the women were vampires as well. So Viola gave the prearranged signal to attack.

Mebh charged in and gave one of the female vampires a resounding beating. I followed her in but I ended up breathing vampire mist and got taken over. This, and previous incidents, resulted in the standing joke about 'Aqualina being pursued by the Dark Side cause she's easy'. Grrrr .....

By the time I woke up after being drained to unconsciousness and healed up by one of Mebh's special potions, it was all over. The Baron had dispersed into mist and both females had been hibernated. One had also been decapitated. Our priority now was to find the Baron's coffin before he reformed. So the search started. The magical candralabria was quickly discovered, but the mouse sized grill under the Baron's throne took a little longer to find. No way were we going to get down there.

So we found the butler and asked him to take us to where the Baron was. It didn't take much convincing to get him to take us to the dungeons but he did tell us there was a door he wasn't allowed to pass through. So we went there and he left us.

The door was enchanted, trapped and locked, but we bypassed that by disintegrating a hole in it. We then had to get past the spectral dwarves in the room beyond who were geased to prevent anyone passing. Viola managed to create a peaceful situation where we were able to slip past before they realised what was going on.

Beyond was a small complex of rooms including an alchemical laboratory, a library, an oublette with living things under it and the room with the ladies coffins in it. A lot of searching led us to the conclusion that the way through was through the oublette but then Cher found a fissue in the wall behind the ladies coffins.

While Anooke conjured up an ice elemental to carve a hole in the wall, Mebh poured a whole barrel of holy water down the oublette. That resulted in a large amount of sludge. Meanwhile I busied myself in the library looking for clues in the books. Most of them were on breeding humans and making them more docile.

After a while it was discovered that the fissue opened out into a shaft that dropped straight down at least 600ft and probably a lot further. So we decided to investigate the oublette instead. Anooke used an ice construction to scoop out all the slime before we went in. Down there was the coffin but most of the dirt had already been removed. Also down there was a magical mirror, which got itemised, as well as a body in the cupboard which had been petit-morted and had definitely been bitten. There were also earrings, a bracelet, and roughly 5000 pennies worth of miscellania.

Mebh broke the coffin and we collected the vampire earth on the theory it could be used for a spell to locate the rest of it.

The only way now we could go was down that shaft which I wasn't looking forward to. However we did, by featherfalling the way down. It was even more unnerving with that ball of sludge hanging over us also making it's way down. I was hoping there was water at the bottom but there wasn't. Instead we found an argument. Turned out the Baron was down there negotiating with three rather large hairy humanoids. So we went on the offensive with a volley of water bolts, a whirlwind vortex then Anooke decided to drop the ice sludge ball on them since they were right below us. Of course we had to dodge the falling ball. I had to contort myself into a rather small space as it went past.

By the time we got down there, there wasn't much left. We retrieved swords, bronze armour, shields and a bag with the rest of the dirt and cash. All that stuff was magical. There was even some amulets.

  Ben - "They're scum"
  Aqualina - "Well they are now.  You've got to scrape that one off the floor"

Further investigations revealed that the spectres were done, the servant was dead and the non-beheaded girl was human again and was rather traumatised by what she had done. So we flew off to Borovia to spend the night in the cathedral there. The girl told us that the Baron's master was a Count who had a castle in the middle on the Transylvania mountains - and he's going to be rather annoyed with us.

21 Fruit

Someone promised that we would get a luxurious night in a good bed but obviously the Powers of Lighters have different ideas of luxury than I do - and I wasn't impressed. Couldn't even get a decent bath as they don't seem to believe in washing. So, I was a bit of a sulky water mage on the way back to the Guild.

23 Fruit

Upon arrival we were given the usual checks before being granted entry. The items we brought back were divinated. Preliminary results, at the time of writing, were:

  • The mirror - restores you to full health but ages you a year
  • Helmet - defense spells will provide only 1/rank defense but add 1 armour per three ranks
  • Dagger - subtracts assassin ranks from agility of victim before effects are determined.

During further discussion I learned that Isil'Eth was fifth in line to the throne of Alfheim and the second largest land owner. I bet that's making King Ulric nervous. And some of the things Viola was saying was making me nervous. Maybe that's why there's a memory in the crystal.

New clauses were swiftly added to the contract. Mebh is not allowed to start Nightfall (or Ragnarok or Armageddon or the End of Days ... or what ever it's called. Her and Viola are not allowed to go and assassinate the King of the Western Kingdoms and Viola is not allowed to disguise herself as Isil'Eth and seduce King Ulric.

Anyway while we were discussing things, we felt a slight earthquake. Mebh was rather alarmed by this especially given the angry air a while ago. So we went to the Earth College where we discovered that, via the summoned elemental, that the Spirit of the Superstition Mountains had gone home to the Elemental Plane of Earth. Anooke mentioned the fire creature going to bust down the Gates of Hell and the elemental seemed awfully excited at the possibilities.

  "Now that's a change - Mebh's the one sulking" - Ben
  "I didn't have to start Nightfall.  Anooke did it for me" - Mebh

We decided that we'd better stock up on healing potions then realized that, with me about, we could make them in the field. However, I'd go off and make up another six pack - just in case.

  "We got Aqualina on tap" - Viola

While I was doing that, the others went to talk to the other elementalists. They discovered that it was getting harder to summon elementals, as if there weren't that many available to be summoned. The Water College had definitely noticed, but the Air College hadn't. So Mebh and Anooke summoned up elementals to find out what was going on. Anooke couldn't get one but Mebh got a little one (if you call an eight foot tall air elemental "little") that told her that the elementals were reporting to to the air elemental lords for instructions. However, this one was told he wasn't big enough to go. Looks like that they are massing up to beat demon butt.

24 Fruit

Next day, really early, it was off to Artzdorf. There, late that evening, we ended up at the mages pub. It was a bit early for the student mages to be out but we discovered that there were six of them, all in black, were celebrating. Our suspicions that they were necromancers were confirmed when they gleefully told us that they had succeeded in raising a vampire from their Dean. The Dean had been quite keen on the idea.

When we went to see the Dean, I was rather concerned that there was gong to be a vampire loose in Artzdorf biting and sucking blood from people so I decided to see if I could use Liquid Transformation to make blood. It sort of worked but I'm not very good at the spell and, besides, I think it was shark blood. But they seemed satisfied with that. I guess their water mages are going to be busy. I just hope I did the right thing.

Back to the pub and there were more mages in there. Mebh spoke to the Namers and appraised them of the situation. We also discovered that more of the local nobles were doing magical training and there was a petition going around to get rid of the anti-magic stones in the city.

Just then we heard a bard singing a song that was rather defamatory to the elves. So, at our earliest opportunity, we dragged the bard off to our room and questioned him. He had an illusion on him, which Cher was able to dispel, but, rather than revealing a drow, it turned out it was there to make him look more attractive. Viola then tried to hypnotize him but backfired rendering her anhydrous.

He told us he had heard the songs from someone else who was going to the Kings Head pub. That person's name was Gareth and wasn't a drow. He was very co-operative, giving us directions and promising to sing songs about the human/dwarf/elf alliance and the Fall of Masada.

After letting him go, we went back to the bar in order to get some magical defenses from the locals. We asked who would be the best choice.

  "That'll be Cadaverous" - a local mage
  "And what College is he?" - Mebh?  (I nearly choked on my drink)

Yes, I was right. Another Necromancer. We ended up with Rank 15 Wraithcloaks and, from an Earth mage, rank 12 Strength of Stones before we set off. What we found, behind the Kings Head, was a building where a rhythmic thumping sound was coming from. It sounded like the Seagate Times printing press but a lot louder and faster.

Inside, we discovered a group of drow and humans. Mebh busted open the door and windstormed the place, wrecking the press and killing some of the occupants with flying shrapnel. While the surviving drow (one) was captured, I collected samples of all the text, which included a lot of anti-elf songs.

We discovered that Bazala is their leader and demons helped them set up the place. Similar setups were in twenty other spots including Konigburg, Bowcourt, Freetaun, Sanctuary, and Chisholm.

Just in case, we decided to beat a speedy retreat and headed off towards Cher's mansion nearby. I was delighted when I found out she had a large, warm, pool of water, and was planning on spending the night in it. However, it was decided we would stay inside, with guards posted, for the night. So, I went to bed, sulking again because I've been kept dry nearly all this adventure. At least this bed was more comfortable than the one in the Michaeline place. But there's no way they're going to stop me purifying in the water tomorrow.

25th of Fruit

Back to Konigsburg where we discovered that there was a Priest of Chantris giving away food - and the pile of loaves was not diminishing as some were removed. Just then a group of ten Gabrielite guards came along and started beating the priest up, whom we discovered was called Brother Mark. I was horrified at this, especially since it was ten versus one, and they started it. I was then annoyed at Mebh when she started supporting the Gabrielites and saying that Brother Mark should be turned over to the Church. Typical Lighter .. wanting to suppress any other beliefs.

A riot began as several citizens stepped in to protect the priest with several improvised weapons being used. Wisely, we didn't get involved ourselves. Someone must have got in a really lucky shot with a piece of wood as a Gabrielite's arm was cleanly lopped off at the shoulder. The fact that the wood in question had an icy look about it may ... or may not ... be relevant

It took a while for order to be restored and the priest was taken to the Church to be questioned. We were reassured that he was not automatically going to be executed.

We finally found an inn to stay in and also found a hobbit, who was a King's Rapier, who ended up challenging Ben to a duel. It turned into a drinking contest. Meanwhile it was discovered that a fire god, Krull, had taken a shine to King Ulric and the dwarves were on the move.

The major thing we discovered that night was that the Grand Justicar was to be arrested for treason solely for the reason of being an elf. I was sure surprised when the elf turned out to be Isil'Eth. The arrest had been announced by the Privy Councellor, Lord Cronity.

26th Fruit

So the next day we headed down to Isil'Eth's castle, located thirty miles to the south. On the way, we noticed a troop of armed guards heading in that direction.

Isil'Eth wasn't in, but we discovered her guards look like six foot tall insects and came from off-plane. We asked for a picnic lunch and settled down on a nearby grassy knoll. When the guards arrived, we could hear a lot of shouting. One of them wandered over to ask what we were up to.

Back to the city, arriving by the middle of the afternoon, and headed for the Privy Councillor's house. There seemed to be some sort of preparations going on and every one was in livery so we assumed disguises as servants and pitched in to help. Actually we were looking for clues. Viola discovered that the notes in his office indicated that he was unhappy that there was a new king as new kings cause change but believes that the King can be steered in the right direction. He also believes that the King and the Justicar should meet. He's suspicious of the one of the ladies in waiting, a Lady Madeovich. Also, Lord Cronity has something that prolongs life.

We were working in the kitchen when Viola noticed a small adamantium bottle on the shelf. She was told it contained special seasonings, however she decided to check and discovered it was essence of dragonblood, to be more specific, cockatrice poison - very lethal. It didn't take long before she saw someone use it and tried to discretely take that cook out and ended up using a whirlwind vortex.

The party tonight was for Lord Cronity's political associates, the conservative old guard. Viola got to talk to Lord Cronity afterwards, who had already deduced what we had been up to. He told her that he was also suspicious of the King's drinking and hunting buddy, Lord Tindell.

So we went looking for Lord Tindell and found him in a local establishment of pleasure. He was currently with Cassandra and, when we finally got to talk to him in the common room, we discovered that he had been hypnotised and his memory rewritten. So we decided to have a word with Cassandra.

She turned out to be a succubus and a mind mage and showed her true nature when we confronted her. I don't recall much of the fight having spent much of it unconscious on the floor but, somehow, an imp got involved and things got a bit messy. What I do remember is being woken up by being licked in the face by a massive hellhound with fire in it's eyes. I went to punch it in the throat until I realised it was a shapeshifted Ben.

Jewellery, two potions of controlling humanoids, a potion of weakwill and a hairbrush of dart throwing as well as other items were taken as loot (I went through her wardrobe) before we informed the madame of what had happened. She had no idea Cassandra was a succubus but she had been recommended to her by a person called Ignatious who had come from Sanctuary. We then checked the other Houses of Pleasure in the city and dispatched two more.

After that, it was basically cleanup - touring the Western Kingdoms as a troubadour group and dealing to all the little things we had missed like all those printing presses scattered all over the kingdom. We had a lot of fun and even Amtrack managed to 'accidentally' flatten a drow under his wheels. So it wasn't until the 15th of Vintage that this bunch of weary adventurers returned to the Guild. Oh, and the Church owes me a favour apparently. Maybe I should use that to ask that they leave my people alone as they're quite happy as they are.

Treasure (so far)

Miscellanous

  • Mebh's Magic Mushrooms
  • Drow bounties (1000sp/drow)
  • Hydra venom grenades

The Baron's Castle

  • Magical candralabra
  • The mirror - restores you to full health but ages you a year
  • Helmet - defense spells will provide only 1/rank defense but add 1 armour per three ranks
  • Dagger - subtracts assassin ranks from agility of victim before effects are determined.
  • Earrings
  • Bracelet
  • 5000sp worth of miscellanea
  • Swords, bronze armours, and shields

The Lair of the Succubi

  • Jewellery
  • Potions of controlling humanoids (x2)
  • Potion of weakwill (-10 from WP)
  • Hairbrush of dart throwing
  • Misc. clothing