Scrag's Tattoo Parlour

Down one of the darker alleys in the Hovels of Old Seagate lies this rather seedy establishment. The front room is a tattoo parlour and hangout for orcish ruffians, but much darker business is said to take place in the back rooms.

Summary

Quasi-legal. Orcs and Squirrels only. Religion, Fortune-telling, Weddings, Funerals, Midwifery, Healing, Drugs, Booze, Tattoos, Gambling.

Tattoos

Scrag is a Rank 6 Tattooist, specialising in the lewd and pornographic, although she is also fairly literate in Orc and Common scripts. Most of her patrons are orcs, and she does the clan markings for Spak’s initiation ceremonies. Scrag has recently seen a surge in business, since promoting her new guarantee:

Free resurektion wiv every mistak*

The finer work -- including all the really big words -- is done by Alexander, a jet-black squirrel who uses his teeth and a tiny runcible spoon. As a necromancer, Alexander also promises to raise customers if there is a mishap. No one has complained yet.

Religion

Scrag’s brother Spak is a wise elderly orc shaman who performs many of the clan initiation ceremonies for the urban diaspora of orcs. Being a shaman does not require invoking the dark gods or human sacrifice, and Spak tends to avoid this level of risk. He also offers moral advice, mediation between clans, and with the Town Guard, divination services, and performs weddings, namings and funerals. He is well-respected by the orcish community, and rarely crossed by outsiders. His primary curse is impotency, or 'the droop'.

Alternative Medicine

One of the problems of the orcish community is their higher-than-usual propensity to get injured, along with a reluctance to deal with the culturally-insensitive methods of most Healers (such as demanding payment up front). This need has been met by the shady Dr Sam, via his patented medicinal tonics, midwifery and miracle cures. Although most of his tonics appear to be cooking herbs in water, patients almost always recover just after the final payment. One odd quirk is that abortion, midwifery, and resurrection services sometimes come free with a tattoo of Dr Sam’s choice. It is said that removing the tattoo immediately reverses the medical treatment.

Gambling

There is always a friendly game of five-card brag, snake-eyes, or mumblety-peg going on in the tattoo parlour or a back room, usually for small stakes. It is rumoured that local territorial disputes are sometimes settled late at night in high-stake games of chance and skill. At these times, it is convenient to have a shaman, a doctor, and several mops handy.

Were-gild

Scrag and Spak have a (recent) arrangement with Castle Chilton and the Town Guards that anyone killed by an orc will be resurrected free of charge, and in return the orc is not charged for their first accident. When the accident occurs during burglary, extortion, torture, rape, kidnapping, etc., the orc is still punished for their other crimes. It is the choice of the Guards and the deceased's family whether to press charges or recover the deceased.

Brewery

Part of the role of any shaman is to understand and promulgate sacred aspects of indigenous, historical psychotropic and herbal healing beers. Spak and Sam’s brews have a range of inebriating, debilitating, and amusing effects. They are not recommended for anyone but orcs and dwarves.

* speling not inkludid