SGT808-4

Other Editions

Editorial Room for the Spring 808 Edition

Quotable Quotes

• "It was done with the best of intentions". - Sooty after turning a whole forest evil.
• Isil Eth: So Alfhiem is beset by eight demons, a dragon AND daffodils?
• Axis to Naden: "Does this look necrotic to you?"
• Isil Elth: "When are the Spring rites?" — Helpful elf: "In spring, Ma'am"
• "Stowing Eight tons of slightly-used masonry with the rest of the loot -- this is so definitely an Amelia adventure"
• Sabrina: But how do we get rid of the taint of 'Sally' [Seir]?" -- Bleyse: "Just burning enough villages should do it".
• Dramus, on the "Bloodwater Bridge" in "Nightmare Seagate": "This isn't a good spot for a picnic."
• Dramus: "Peasants aren't a threat." - Mortimer: "Someone in your profession should be a little more sensitive to the idea of angry mobs."
• Mortimer: "I imagine it's a little like being savaged by a chihuahua." - Clarissa: "Remember that would be more of an issue for you than the rest of us."
• Clarissa: "Playing hard to get, are we?" - Mortimer: "We're not playing."
• Mortimer(?) - "I think it's smarter than most adventurers. Hell, it can do laundry!"
• Dramus: Whoops!
• Villager: "The well has a hex on it" - Rowan: "I'd rather call it a blessing"
• Large winter drake: "In the Name of Winter - Begone!" - MDK: "In the Name of the Seagate Guild of Adventurers - Sod You Jimmeh!"
• "Don't let the fire mage anywhere near the loot. He will blow it up."
• Lady Hope: "How may quarters does this city have anyway?"

Insidious Rumours

Investigations continue into rumours that Lady Clarrissa the noted courtesan from Sanctuary has been doing everything she can to stay on the good side of Lady Teeanna. For Lady Clarissa this is a stark change from her domineering ways in the courts of Prince Kadakithis, and we can only guess at the causes behind this behaviour. Was there more to the relationship between Dramus and Lady Clarrissa when she was a nanny to his adopted daughter or is it simply envy over a pair of new boots?

---

After careful investigation of an initially convincing story brought to us by an unnamed source, the Times is confident that there is no truth to the rumour that the true reason behind Countess Liessa of Newhaven's apotheosis and ascension was a desire to escape the triangular relationship between herself, her husband Engalton, and Saydar the Baron of Erewhon. Nor is there any evidence that the Countess was suffering overwhelming emotional turmoil from her husband's divided affections.

---

Rumours continue that the marriage of fae Prince Dramus to the Lady Te'anna may merely be a cover for his more unusual proclivities, and that the true affections of the Faerie Prince may lie with a certain fair halfling tinkerer well known for his manufacture of *ahem* "cunning mechanical toys".

What's Hot, What's Not

Hot

• Transgression
• Silver Braids
• Sword of Solomon
• Reavers' Axe
• Demon Avatars going "pop" when you stab them
• Giant amonoids that are not calamar
• Bubbles of Force

Not

• Punishment
• Infernal Cold
• Rain of Millstones: Ground Zero
• Khatovar Engravers
• Demon Avatars taking you to the bottom of a lake
• Lycanthrope curses
• The Old Woman of Winter

Recent Adventures / News in Brief

Guild Party Stops Curse

A Guild party has successfully prevented an outbreak of Lycanthropy in the southern region of Caledonia. Sources tell us that the outbreak was caused by a psychotic wiccan casting Damnum Magnatum spells over a period of the last few months. She was also seeking more power by attempting a pact with the Cailleach, otherwise known as the Old Woman of Winter, which involved the sacrifice of her father.

The Guild party had to track down each victim and remove the curse then find the wiccan. She was tracked to an ice cave in the mountains where the ritual was about to take place. They encountered resistance but was able to overcome it before capturing the wiccan and taking her for healing, as well as rescuing her father and removing the consecration that had been put there.

Her motives for doing all of this are unclear but it appears to be a case of unrequited love. It is hoped that the Temple of Diancecht can restore her sanity

Kirkul Cleansed

As reported previously, Kirkul in the Five Sisters has been taken over by blood-mages and chaos cultists intent on summoning the court of chaos to Alusia. At best this would have led to god-wars on Alusia, at worst we would become a world ruled by chaos.

On Duesday, 15th Frost, a combined Guild, Michaeline, and Mid-Guard force assaulted Kirkul seeking to cleanse it of the cultists.

By W'ansday, 16th Frost, Kirkul was razed to the ground. No buildings were left standing, no undead, chaos creature, or cultist was left alive.

Witnesses report fire, cold, light, dark, indescribable horrors, and a rain of millstones.

Following thorough investigation by senior guild members, it has been ascertained that the previously reported vaults of gold, gems, and artefacts were slightly exaggerated, and have been mostly traded to slavers in the region who were smuggling slaves past the blockades. The remaining wealth has been secured by the Michaelines and Guild members and will be dealt with appropriately.

Portions of the rubble are still significantly affected by Chaos. The guild has issued a travel warning: No guild member entering Kirkul may expect a rescue party, and standard guild services do not cover removing chaos taints acquired in Kirkul.

Letters

Dear Editor,
I am a new member of the Seagate Guild.
When I joined they told me for my first four or five missions I could only expect to find myself fighting animals, small bands of humanoids and maybe the odd lesser undead.
I have been out on only two missions so far, but as well as these things have had to battle, an army of Goblins, giant enchanted dogs with exploding teeth, a 12 foot monster made of stone called a Golem, a Litch, a Mist Wrath, a hoard of Ebony Death, a Barghest, and a super strong Ettin.
I have fought with an avatar of the Goblin God of Death and was once faced with some kind of Dragon thingy.
I wish to complain.
The elemental mages roasted the Dragon thingy before I even got a swing at it.

Aaron Ferret, Enchanter

Humour

Heard in the Guild Pub

"I love the country" "I love adventuring" "I love the dungeons" "I love the treasures in" "I love the monsters" "I love killing them" "Boom deyada boom deyada boom deyada boom deyada"