SGT810-4

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Editorial Room for the Spring 810 Edition

Quotable Quotes

Tari's standard greeting during an Orgy: "I don't talk a lot"

Insidious Rumours

What's Hot, What's Not

Hot

  • Debutantes
  • Royal Orgies
  • Long-long Kingdoms

Not

  • Practice Windstorms
  • Long-lost Fathers

Recent Adventures / News in Brief

Purple Discordance

The Purple Orcs, a threat to peace and harmony on Purple have had their overtones of domination reduced to a minor part. The magical roads linking their cities and empowering their rulers have been disrupted and their ability to repair them removed. The profiteering off-world arms-dealers were encouraged to return home. The sky-challenging towers of invasion have been destroyed. And we picked up a nice collection of jams and preserves.

Del Toro Founding and Coronation

The County of Ebola and the former-military dictatorship of Plaz'toro have united to found the new Kingdom of Del Toro. The Count and Countess of Ebola will officially become the first King and Queen of Del Toro at their Coronation on the 2nd day of Blossom this spring.

The coronation is planned to be a grand event celebrating the start of a new era of peace and prosperity. The new rulers have promised a restoration of infrastructure allowed to fall into decay by the corrupt dictators of Plaz'toro. New roads, new towns, clear rivers, and a restored port are just some of the ambitious promises being made.

While the average Ebolan appears to be fairly indifferent to the change, the common people of Plaz'toro have welcomed the new rulers. The hildagos nominated to become the new Baróns and form the ruling council of Plaz'toro are all very positive about the new kingdom.

The former ruler of Plaz'toro and some hildagos opposed to progress are no longer available for comment.

Guests invited to the coronation include The Dons of Destiny; Duke Leto of Carzala; Kings & Queens of Artzdorf and Flugelheim, Eltrandor, Glissom, Raniterre, and the Western Kingdom; the Queen, princes and princesses of Elfheim; Captains of the Beltan; Ladies and Lords of Ladlaugh, Elvandar, and Elsfield; Emperor Titus Flavous Valentius Stabilius of Lunar; Czar Peter of Ruska; Lord Yo Long; Matt Tumbledown; Duchess Meredith of Ranke; Count Logan; Count Engalton; Count Blitzkrieg; Countess Aleksandra of Liberty; Baron & Baroness Jotenburg; Baroness Sabrina; Lord Warden Kern; Sir Christopher D'arbres; Sir Mortimer of Alfheim; Chevalier Roke; Lord Vapour.

Guild News

Invitation to Coronation

Count Aryan di Ebola, soon to be King Aryan Del Toro extends his invitation to his friends and fellow guild members to join him in celebrating his coronation on the 2nd day of Blossom this spring (2 months after the guild meeting).

Specific invitations have been extended to some guild members and an open invitation is extended to all guild members, this open invitation includes transport (2 weeks each way by ship), accommodation (basic rooms) for the week of celebrations, and invitations to parties. On the proviso that you contribute to the event as entertainment, catering, apothecaries, herbalists, healers, and discrete security.

Fine Print: On your oath as a guild member you will not engage in assassination, murder, abduction, religious persecution, theft, or other ill-mannered behaviour during the event and you will attempt to stop any such activity that you become aware of. Politics, drinking, partying, debauchery, and securing future employment are encouraged.

Columns and Articles

MLGM Awards

The guild's newly formed positive public relations department is proud to present the inaugural Most Loved Guild Member Awards.

Final Voting will take place at the summer guild meeting but we're now opening nominations for the Most Loved Guild Member of 810wk.

MLGM Nominees

Sabrina
Still the best selling cover girl in print, but can our love of her beauty over come the danger of appreciating it?
Princess Isil Eth
Her beauty is peerless, her presence is awe inspiring, or is that just want she wants us to believe. The favourite to win, ahead in all polls conducted outside of Mind Counterspells.
Starflower
The beautiful Elven Mind Mage femme-fatales, do we love them by choice or by command?
Caprice
Queen of Gypsies, flower of the road. Her smile to die for, her scowl to die of. Maybe it's not just the Sorceress Elves that so blithely control our hearts.
Engalton
Everyone recognises the clean and sweet smelling Engalton a hero and adventurer from Seagate. Undecided? Perhaps a vote for largesse is in order.
Kern
The surprising dark horse of this competition, loved by strangers, this hero of Alfheim is making a name for himself with everyone yet to meet him.
Vapour
Air College Man of The Year! Most polished pec's in Seagate! Cover boy of vanity! Who could fly safely after voting for anyone else?
Aryan
Looking for love in all the right and wrong places, not one to discriminate, it's hard to take offence to this philandering rogue.
Albion
Speaking of indiscriminate, this lusty Elf qualifies by quantity alone.
Sam the Ork
Apparently nominated by ALL his girlfriends, this self-nomination is yet to be formally seconded.

Tips for Adventurers

A recent party discovered that Windstorm can be useful, but only if you are prepared for it.

Things not to do in a Windstorm
  • Use your bow
  • Fall off your horse
  • Cast Sleep Gas
  • Flutter about
  • Try to out-maneouver your opponents
  • Get the Princess's dress muddy
Things to do in a Windstorm
  • Stay within 2' of the air mage
  • Stay on your horse
  • Kneel and cast
  • Close with the enemy
  • Drink Strength Potions
  • Free-fall out of range
Things the Party actually did, even after training
  • See List #1

Classifieds (Selling Services and Stuff)

Sams Recuperative Draft
Earth Magic restoratives, Rank ≤ 8, any flavour of alcohol. See Dr Sam for your tonic. 550sp each.

Bestiary

Riddles and Puzzles

Letters

Humour

Khazadecimal: a dwarven counting system

Special Notices

Printed Copies Required

(Please put your name here if you require a printed copy at the Guild Meeting - Thank you)