Pro Bono

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Summary

Adventure: Pro Bono
GM: Keith Smith
Session: Winter 815
Night: Thursdays
Location The house of Smith
Level: Low to Medium
Rules: ?

Mission

Fixing up the land, after the ravages of War and Darkness, to get it ready for Spring.

The Party

  • Kerry – dark celestial mage and warrior. - Helen.
  • Brigetta – shamanic loremaster and master troubadour. - Jacqui.
  • Pierre – part Earth mage, part Illusionist and all cookie maker. - Ian

Scribe Notes

Chapter 1: To market, to market...

Rather than in one of the meeting rooms, we met in the Guild Commons, with our employer, a Guild adventurer named Basalic, whom we found waiting at the bar. He explained that he wanted us to restore the land as much as possible, before the spring planting. Damage had been done by the wars, the darkness, by misguided magic, and through the deliberate poisoning and salting tracts of land. This repair work would be done in company with a trio of witches we would meet at Silverstream in Ranke. We agreed to meet him early next morning, and went off to get ourselves organised. Basalic, being an Earth mage, took care of our lesser enchantments. We got cut price greater enchantments from one Aaron the Ferret. Then we flew to Slippery Rock to get some restoratives. Where we found the market in full swing, busy with hawkers trying to see us all sorts of rubbish, and assorted entertainers – I failed to resist temptation, and put on a performance, with Pierre’s assistance. It became immediately apparent that “travelling entertainers” would make a great cover story for this expedition. We met a Halfling dressed as a fairy, one Katarina Tenderfoot, who invited us to the Inn she managed with her husband, but we declined. She was concerned for her missing brother Rufus, whom she feared had got into necromancy, and asked if we could look for him.

In the morning we met Basalic outside the Guild. He was driving a farm cart with a pair of shire horses. Pierre cast his movement spell (it was more effective than mine in terms of speed). We headed north for three days, the last part on a barge up the river. At Silverstream, we met with the Baron, Helmuth de Honore.

Chapter 2: Something in the Water.

As we took luncheon with the Baron, we discussed where he wanted us to go. There was an incursion of undead up the Bluewater, and a lack of fish in the river. There was also talk of goblins and of Drow. We were interrupted by the arrival of an elderly human woman dressed in black, with a tall pointed hat and a cane. Two other witches waited by the entrance. The woman introduced herself as Granny Beeswax, and was plainly disappointed to see that there was only three of us.

The Baron explained that the rumours of gold-bearing lakes could account for what was happening up the Bluewater, past Avonhithe. Nobody went to those headwaters, because the area was said to be haunted – or magical. Granny commented that she was sure something foul was going on up there. There were stories of zombies, but not shambling as they usually are, these jerked and twitched… The Baron asked Granny when she’d like to leave. She insisted that it would be in the morning after a nice cup of tea. “And at least one breakfast”, added Pierre. So we stayed for dinner. Next morning, we got up early, and after our morning rituals, a messenger arrived, inviting us to the witches’ cottage for tea. There were cats. And broomsticks. Tea was served, after which we set off in the wagons. Basalic turned off when we reached Avonhithe and headed eastwards towards Dottery. We drove up river, and came upon a campsite. There were three people there, who appeared to be repeatedly washing dishes in the river. I used ventriloquism to have the dish say “Good morning”, and he jumped in a gratifying human fashion. It became apparent that they were actually panning for gold. We approached and were told to be careful heading north – there were creatures in the night. Not many fish in the river. We should not drink the river water. According to Kerry, the water was faintly magical, with hints of transmutation. One of the men was fishing – eventually he caught a fish – but it didn’t look right. The man wasn’t right either – he was being slowly poisoned according to Pierre’s healer empathy. We warned them not to eat the fish or drink the river water.

As the witches did their rituals, I consulted with the spirits. Something was coming down river that shouldn’t be. Nothing else odd was going on… then it said that something tingled. It seemed that the witches had finished their ritual. But Granny wasn’t happy, it hadn’t gone as well as it should. She asked the youngest witch, Margarite, who was an alchemist, to test the water, and she reported that there was indeed gold in there – and some other substances. Lead, quicksilver, and something weird.

As we continued upriver, it appeared that there had been little traffic on the road recently, and such farm buildings as we saw were abandoned. We were fortunate to find a barn to camp in. Kerry and Pierre went hunting for supplies, but there was little to be found. Then they had a conversation with an owl, who told them the two-legs had packed up and left before the long dark. After the pointed eared dark-skinned two-legs had been and gone. There had been some of the small green two legs, and some of the dead ones that walk. After they got back, I spoke with the spirits and asked why the people had left this place. The spirits answered: for safety, following rumours of invaders. So I asked who or what had been here since: many animals, birds, bats, goblins, orcs, one undead, a troupe of fairies, and a single reaping angel.

At breakfast, Granny said that she had seen a barrier across the road ahead about an hour ahead. We scanned it using a crystal of vision. It was yellow, and read, “Stop! Quarantine in effect!” Beyond, there was a large tent with somebody watching the road, with a crossbow in hand. We discussed the alternatives and decided to try to talk our way through this. So we approached the man, who told us to stand off, because they had the plague. I announced that we were here on authority of Baron Honore, to fix the problem. That worked, and we explained that it wasn’t plague – that the river was poisoned and they shouldn’t drink the water. The guards led us to the village, which was heavily fortified. There we found a local priest of Chantris ranting at the people, about how their sins had brought the plague on them and so on. So I cast ventriloquism, and a voice from above told him that he needed to repent of his unkindness, and go on a pilgrimage to Seagate, seek out Bishop Rowan, and confess his sins. This worked remarkably well. He was packing in no time.

We learned that the local wiccan had died, which meant they were short a healer as well. And his apprentice, Rufus, had gone missing. Last spring, when the Drow were about. Yes, it was that same Rufus Tenderfoot that we had been asked to find.

We set about dealing to the problems… Pierre went to fix the water supply issue. Granny, Kerry, and Margarite were on healing duty, starting with the children, and then the elderly, those being the most vulnerable. Fanny went to help with the animals. And I yelled at people. A lot. If you want to organise people it helps being a military scientist with logistics (and a loud voice).

Chapter 3: Death on Wings

Next morning, there was still a lot of healing to see to. I suggested we ought to look for the missing Rufus, and that we should begin by consulting the spirits. So we began at his house. Pierre found Rufus’s diary, and a number of other books under the bed – a book on herbalism, and a collection of herbal recipes. It looked as if he was actually learning enchantments, since that was the college for which he had most aptitude. His last entry related to stocks running low, and that he would soon be sent upriver to get more plants – but not too far, because strange things were happening up there (including fairies). Then I consulted the spirits of the place, asking these questions:

Where was Rufus going? Up the river.

What happened to Rufus? Don’t know… didn’t come back to feed me. (I deduced it must be a domestic cat spirit).

What did Rufus take with him? Collecting bag, backpack, notebook, delicious creamy things, an apple… He was supposed to come back that day.

What does Rufus look like? Young Halfling, brownish hair… (I got a picture).

After that, I was able to cast a locate spell – and got a lock. Definitely upstream – but I got the distinct impression that something was blocking me. We set off immediately… casting Longstrider and Rapid Road, which having differing targets, appeared to stack, so we made a fair canter. As we left the village, from the north north-east we heard a long lingering squeal. We decided to investigate, and stopped to prepare. Pierre made us invisible, and Kerry gave us witchsight. We soon came upon a wyvern tearing into the body of a pony. Deciding that discretion would be best, we took cover in a ditch, and prepared attack spells. Kerry dropped a web of darkness on it. I cast thunderclap. Pierre cast bolts of fire. It screamed, and almost shook off the web. And then it did… we gave chase, but it flew across the river, and disappeared into a cave. We examined the pony – it had a Halfling-sized saddle, and gear, all rather worn. Had it been wandering for a full six months? In the saddlebags were a notebook, some dead plants, a checklist, and some other gear.

We went inside the barn, which stank of apples, and Kerry cast wings on us. As we crossed the river, the wyvern stuck its head out. It spotted us, and came after us. Kerry and I landed, while Pierre remained in the air, luring it towards us. Kerry cast a web, and it came tumbling to the ground. I cast thunderclap, which stunned it. So, I ran in with my battleaxe and struck it; and then with my second strike, I found the wing joint and took it off, thus killing it. In its cave, we found something of a nest with chewed bones, animal and human. Among the bits of pieces of brightly coloured clothing, we found 125gs, 357sp, 178cf, a set of dice, belts and buckles, one left shoe and three vials.

It was lunchtime when we got back to the village, having skinned the wyvern, and gutted both it and the pony, and put the meat and wyvern skin on a wagon. The villagers would eat well that night. We left the wyvern skin with the village tanner for curing. Granny came over, and said that something had meddled with the pony, causing it to forget. She took its head to examine, and I did a ritual of recitation over the rest. I learned a story about a Halfling riding his pony… and there was a lady in distress, and Rufus, being brave when to help her. Something weird happened to him, and he went off with the lady. The pony forgot what he was doing and began wandering – and then came back to himself, and back home, only to be attacked by a wyvern.

At dinner, Granny came to us, and said that Margarite’s tarot reading regarding the Halfling indicated the lover, reversed – meaning a false love. He was enthralled…. She added that her own research showed that the pony had in fact been attacked by a mind mage with an unusually high magical aptitude. There was a demonic taint to the magic. Good thing that I can now cast mind cloaks, because it would appear that we will need them.

The witches wandered off and set up their big cauldron for some kind of divinatory ritual. After they had finished Granny explained that we are looking for a regularly-shaped hill rising from a flat landscape; a tor, with a tower on top, with three trees placed equidistant around it. The Halfling would be there, but his soul was darkened. There was a beautiful woman, with ruby red lips, dressed in black – and a suggestion of wings and horns. A succubus, perhaps.

In the morning, after Pierre did some disguise illusions – to make himself look like the halfling’s sister, and make Kerry and I look less martial. We set forth on the wagons, looking like a bunch of harmless womenfolk. Except for the fact that our wagons were making a remarkably rapid pace. After a couple of hours travel, we could see the hill in the distance, rising out of the landscape. Along the road we were travelling along, we could now see what looked like scarecrows on poles. These also surrounded the hill. We pulled out a crystal ball, and had a closer look. Sitting outside the tower was what seemed to be a child, dressed in black robes, who shortly ran inside. He came out, followed by a small horde of skeletons and the like.

Chapter 4: A Halfling up a Tree

Then, suddenly, as I was studying my crystal ball, out of the trees around us came a slow-moving cloud of what could only be zombie pixies… Who proceeded to fire little arrows at the party. Pierre enchanted the trees, while I let loose with a mighty thunderclap, which blew a bunch of them out of the sky. Then, Pierre and Kerry set up to fire themselves at the pixies with enchanted tree branches. I blew up some more, as Pierre and Kerry swept through the creatures, knocking some more down. I loosed energy spray which struck down all but one of the remainder, and Pierre took that one down.

As we looked at the downed creatures we could see that these had once been cute little fey – I was not at all happy to see this desecration. Those little arrows were magical.

We approached the hill, picked a defensible spot and waited. And then the undead horde arrived. We spotted a Halfling up a tree – a tree which was shortly under Pierre’s control. Then we were hit by necrosis, so I dropped a necromancy counterspell under the halfling’s tree, while Pierre went up the tree, helped by the obedient branches. The horde got closer, and as Kerry chopped down the closest, I continued blowing them up. The Halfling cast enchanted sleep on Pierre, and it took a few seconds for me to realise that I had an excellent tool for waking up Pierre – that my thunderclap ought to shake the tree, and wake up Pierre. It did and he commanded the tree to hold his hands. The Halfling screamed for his mistress. And then Pierre sapped him. Meanwhile Kerry and I finished off the zombie horde.

We looted the Halfling, finding the following items: Armour Cloak with wraithcloak; Necrosis wand; Hand of Death amulet; Darkvision glasses (which I took a fancy to); Bone of bone wall; Agony ring; Spectral dagger.

After we got the witches to provide restoratives and healing, they started working on the unconscious Halfling, removing the enchantments. Meanwhile, Pierre commanded the trees to grind up the remains of the undead into fertilizer…

Then we heard some screaming – there was a woman lying on the path in apparent distress. As we got closer we could see through the illusion that it was actually a succubus. She worked some kind of charm on us, which only succeeded on Pierre. But then I charged her with my javelin, and struck her. She called me a bunch of nasty names, and vanished with a foul stench.

The witches woke up the Halfling and we learned that he had indeed fallen in to the thrall of the succubus when gathering herbs in the woods. As we set up camp for dinner, we continued to talk – Rufus was able to tell us the layout of the lair, the nature of some of the guardians, and that he had heard the name Sitri mentioned many times. After a bit of thought I recalled that this was one of the Powers of Darkness, known as the Beautiful Prince, whom some identify with the One-Horned God. We prepared to face demon trouble. The witches provided us with Amulets of Hypericum to add 10% magic resistance versus demons.

We decided to rest the night, and go in the next morning. The witches set up a forbiddance, which was a good thing because the succubus came visiting during the night – bringing more undead pixie assassins. I decided that I had had quite enough of this abomination! That succubus would shortly be toast!

Chapter Five: Under Hill

The Halfling described to us the interior of the hill. There were two levels, and four sections per level. Entering the tor we can expect to find a spiral staircase going up to the observation platform and down to these two levels. Mainly undead in the top level, while herself lives below. On discussion, we decided that sneaky was the way to go. So we buffed ourselves up, Pierre cast invisibility and stealth. We climbed the steep hill and found the door into the keep to be surprisingly open… but it was dark in there. Very dark. But not as dark as it might be. Those spectacles were definitely helping. It was when we came to the upper level that we encountered a shadowy undead thing in the shadows. Which kept trying to suck the joy and life out of us. As we kept sticking enchanted pointy things into it, until it finally deflated and shrank to nothing.

We carried on down and spotted one of those zombie pixies, and Pierre threw a dagger at it, and it disintegrated into undead pixie dust. We came to a landing with four doors, one to each of the cardinal directions. We started with the north door. It was not locked. As Pierre opened the door, the room flooded with light, and six pairs of eyes in hollow skeletal orbits turned to look at us. Kerry went left and I went right, and we hewed into them with our battleaxes, until they fell apart.

We opened the west door, and found a storeroom full of stores, of foodstuffs and barrels, and even some framed paintings, and a pile of pitchforks.

When we opened the south door we were greeted by a blast of cold air and a shamble of half-damaged zombies coming towards us. We stood our ground, and took them down systematically as they came to the door. Once down, we decided that we really must find out what was keeping that room so cold. The last room was plainly where the Halfling had been dwelling. We gathered up the books and notes he had asked for.

We handed down the stairs some more. There was a ward part way down, which Kerry identified as necromantic general, so I cast the appropriate counterspell to suppress it. We got to the lower landing, and once more started with the northern door. Which was neither warded, nor locked. It appeared to be an alchemy laboratory of some sort. The next door opened into a necromancer’s chamber, with a flayed corpse on a table. That was when we heard a voice, declaiming “Intruders”. We attempted to argue with the voice to no avail – it attacked Pierre and it was all on. Kerry and I struck it and then it cast at us, successfully webbing me, and taking me out of the fight. Thankfully, Pierre took down the creature before the web injured me too much.

Chapter Six: An Awful Beauty

As we began to look around – there were shelves full of apparatus and specimens, and a number of volumes on anatomy, alchemy, and necromancy - two more creatures entered the room, and abruptly it became pitch dark. The glasses helped, but only to make everything black or not quite as black. I charged at one of them and struck it. And again. Then Kerry cast some light on the matter. Pierre and Kerry shot rays at the other one, then joined me in the melee, and destroyed that one. The one I was attacking fled… straight up. Then, it re-appeared, and cast a ray of darkness at Kerry. And disappeared again after Pierre shot a ray at it.

And so, we went looking for it. As we walked down the corridor, we noticed that Kerry had two shadows. One rose up and touched her, draining her. We stabbed it repeatedly, and it ran off again. We advanced and came upon a door adorned with a demonic symbol, presumably that of the Beautiful Prince, with a handle in the shape of a phallus. Then, Kerry was struck by blackfire from down the corridor. Big mistake, since we ran down the corridor, and dispatched it.

So, we turned to the problem of the door, which was magically locked (I really must get that spell for opening things). After some discussion, I realised that we could make as much noise as we liked, within the confines of a shell of silence. The interior appeared to be a chapel to the Beautiful Prince – since it was full of phallic objects. Eventually, Pierre found a secret door – between the legs of the effigy of the demon. It appeared to be an empty room – with an inlaid silver circle, surrounded by arcane symbols. Very magical, and we thought we’d better get the witches to have a look.

Continuing along the corridor, we came to another door which opened into a pleasure chamber. In the boudoir was an awfully beautiful female person. I could not stand to look upon her, and backed off, out of the room. Which left Kerry and Pierre to destroy her. She did have a lot of useful and magical loot, it must be said.

Chapter Seven: The Fairy Court

The witches deactivated the summoning circle we had found by removing the silvery metal, and we debated what to do with the place. I sat up on top of the hill and performed a ritual of recitation, and learned that there was a human tribe living here in ancient times, who buried their chiefs here. It was forgotten until relatively recently when it was found by the Drow, and one of their succubus pets moved in. They left and it stayed. So I asked the spirits what we could do to put the place to rights. They wanted the ancestral bones and artefacts returned to their proper places. So we did our best. We removed all the rubbish from below, and put the bones and such back. Then, we put a big stone across the trapdoor, covered it with dirt, and stamped it down. Then we planted brambles around the tower. This took most of a day even with help from Pierre’s “friends”.

Next morning we set forth following the river towards its source. We noticed that the river was now visibly contaminated, and a distinct yellow ochre colour, like rivers aren’t normally. It became narrower and faster, and the terrain became rougher. The road became a track, and then petered away to nothing. We realised that we wouldn’t be getting the wagon any further. The horses weren’t keen either. I cast speaking beasts on the lead horse, and learned that the flying things didn’t want us to go any further. Kerry cast witchsight and we could all see them. They wanted to know what we wanted, and we explained that we were investigating what was wrong with the river. They explained that they weren’t happy about it either. Some of their water fey had died. And some others – they were looking for Rufus whom they consider responsible for the murder of several of their kind.

We parked the wagon and horses among the trees. Then we continued on foot into the fairy glade. We were taken into the presence of their king and queen in their outdoor court. First they dealt with the matter of Rufus, and decided that he would be placed under a geas to do no harm to seelie fae, and be required to spend a year and a day among the fae learning their ways. Then they spoke of the contamination upon the river. They believed it might have been caused by the Drow interfering with some of natural magics and weirdly glowing rocks found up there. There was a very sick fae who had got too close. I tried the healing ritual and it seemed to work better than anything else they had tried thus far. He woke, and was able to explain that he had been near one of the springs, and picked up a glowing rock, which had burned him. He had thought it was merely massicot (yellow lead ore) until it did that. A second ritual and a third brought further improvements in his condition.

Chapter Eight: To the Bat Cave!

Next morning, we prepared to go forth, “escorted” by a bunch of fairies. I explained to the horses that they should not drink from the river. After a couple of hours we arrived at the lake… which was a dirty yellow colour, and the few fish we saw were dead. I started to feel slightly off colour, and our fey escorted looked very green, and left us to it. We walked around to the top of the lake.

The first spring we found flowing into the lake was running clear, the vegetation looking relatively healthy. Pierre sent forth an illusory chicken. A female water fey rose out of the water to observe, clearly wondering what it was, and what it was doing here. We spoke with her, and she explained that she felt unwell any time she went close to the lake. She was a very lonely naiad, missing her friends, Aquan and Chloe, who looked after the other springs. Her pool was full of fish. There were caves also, where there would be earth fey who might be helpful – one called Albert who flies on a bat. We crossed around the head of the spring and carried on to the next spring. The fairy there was also pleased to see us. It was when we reached the last spring that we could see that something was wrong. The trees looked dead, the water positively rank, and there was evidence of lots of excavation. There were a few skeletons scattered about. One, under a tree, was glowing an unpleasant greenish colour. We declined to get closer, and went looking for the bat cave. There were riders on some of the bats – little earth fey known as oreads. One was called Alfred and another was Bruce. They know that there’s something nasty, but they can’t get close. We would most likely have to deal with the skeletons first, since they appear to be protecting it.

We decided to spend the night in the bat cave – they gave us a small cave, off the main cave, which was full of crystals. There were no bats there, so it was comfortable… only we found that we had fey who had curled up beside us as we slept. In the morning, we buffed ourselves, and the earth fey gave us strength of stone. We returned to the contaminated spring, but before we could begin dealing to the skeletons, something shot water bolts at us from the pool. We could now see a naiad in the pool, who was clearly and absolutely insane. I called down a counterspell over the pool, just before she could cast again. She let out a stream of curses and dropped down into the pool. Kerry added a wall of darkness, and then I cast a thunderclap into the pool. The water erupted, and when it subsided there was a naiad, floating unconscious. Pierre fished her out, and told us she was suffering from some time of degeneration. We took her on a travois to the next spring, and put her in some fresh water. I performed the healing ritual on her, and that seemed to help. But she would need specialised help so I sent a whisper to the Guild to request that Lady Starflower the Healer of Minds meet with us at Baron Helmuth’s castle.

Chapter Nine: The Stone of Discord

We continued on, seeking the source, knowing it was not far. Soon, we could see something balefully glowing in the water. Some skeletal forms lay on the ground, glowing faintly in the grey light of the overcast day. Kerry placed a glowing orange wall of starlight to our right, while I failed to cast energy spray. We noticed that the bright orange of the wall was periodically flecked with blue. As she placed another one on the left side, I got the spell off, and shot all six of them with bolts of energy. And then, of course, they got up. The closest one tried to come at up through the left-hand wall, there was a burst of blue light and it carried on. Two more distant ones shot rays at Kerry and I. I failed again, as Kerry extended the right hand wall. The one that got through the wall attacked Kerry. So, it was clobbering time. Only, the skeletal warrior clobbered Kerry, crippling her left arm. Then, I hit the undead, and it exploded. They advanced. Kerry took another hit. I loosed a thunderclap since they were all now clumped together. And again, as Kerry and Pierre hacked at them. Another thunderclap and there were only three left, so I joined in the hacking, and shortly they were all down.

The next problem was the source itself, in the stream. Pierre created some poles and we levered it out, propelling it up, and out and onto the ground. It stopped glowing. Pierre made a sack, and got it in there. It now looked like a faceted crystalline sphere with scribbles all over, that we did not want to look too closely at. Thankfully, whatever was happening had stopped happening. The stream was clearing and the walls no longer sparked. I asked the spirits…

How did that thing get here? They dug a hole and buried it.

What else must be done to heal the land? Time and blessing.

So I sent a message to the witches to come, while Pierre made lunch and I did recitation rituals.

First, the place… There were drow, they were attempting to turn lead into gold with the aid of a demon-crafted philosopher’s stone, made by Andreas aka Discord, and altered by Malthus. The intent was to suck seven somethings out of the lead to made gold, but when it didn’t work properly it was making quicksilver which was poisoning the stream and the land.

Then the stone… It was flawed. It didn’t do what it was supposed to do, it was targeting the wrong kinds of lead and making other things (some of them weird poisonous alchemical metals) as well as gold – which will be in the bottom of the lake. Which was still poisonous and would take months to clear. Unless we can think of a better way.

The King of the Fae arrived with the witches, and was pleased. They set to work blessing the place. The Fae promised a boon as reward, along with whatever gold we could salvage.

Eventually, we headed back to Baron Helmuth’s castle, where we met up with Lady Starflower, who was indeed able to heal the unfortunate mad naiad. And the reformed Ursula the Enchantress, who asked to take on Rufus as an apprentice. As for the discordant philosopher’s stone… we thought about putting it into the Guild vaults, but then realised said vaults were lined with lead. We considered encasing it in bound earth – and then realised that bound ice would be safer. It is a conundrum.


Footer

Buffs

Watch/Marching Order

Loot

Cat-suit of armour +6 armour, +4 endurance, +20 stealth.

Ropes of command

Panties of defence +15 defence

Negligee of armour – fits humans or elves

6 x potions of ESP, some restoratives, some healing potions

Skeleton key of opening

Whip of lashing, Silvered dagger, Silvered main-gauche

Sand of sleep

Vial of Pixie dust

Mermaid-tail of water-breathing

Stuff for the Times

Quotes

Pierre: “Some people get scared witchless.”

Brigetta: “If they really want to, they can pray to one of the individuals responsible.” Kerry: “Don’t encourage it.”

Brigetta: "Why doesn’t, occasionally, the brave damsel save the foolish knight? I shall have to write the play…"

Brigetta: "It seems that the main power of the Beautiful Prince is to make people take their clothes off… "

Kerry: They’re going to be cursed up the wazoo for this… Brigetta: And how do you know that we are not to be the instruments of that curse?

Brigetta: The dark side of E&E? The side that goes around casting wizard’s eyes and looking up women’s skirts? Pierre: That’s not the dark side, that’s the perverted side.

Brigetta: So, not guilty on grounds of being under the influence of a succubus.

Pierre: A mad nixie in a barrel… we could fill it with alcohol… Brigetta: Giving new meaning to the term “pickled”.


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