Mr Grumpy and the Tartan

From DQWiki
Jump to: navigation, search

Return to Scribe notes


Adventure: Mr Grumpy and the Tartan
GM: Ian Anderson
Session: Summer 818
Night: Thursdays
Location: Massey
Level: Bunny-Low



To deal with the problem at Mr Grumpy's back door and to gather 40 yards of McCloud Tartan.



1st Meadow
We all sat in the Guild meeting room waiting. I recognised a couple of faces in the room. There was Lunie Minerva, Caladonian Angus, who I insist is one of the reasons we’re here. There was also Mort who was on his first adventure when I saw him last and Kaeso who I spent last season with aswell. There were also two other people who were soon introduced as Sylvester a budding water mage and Eskel a Rune mage who doesn’t want to be called a Rune mage.

And this point guild security came in with a wooden crate and a message from Harold The Unfathomable. Mr Grumpy had a problem with his back passage and wants it dealt with and the Adlandias want 40 yards of McCloud Tartan. [Jaycey is certain she knows why, I'm not admitting anything til I see the evidence - A]. Within the crate was 42 waters of healing, 6 each and 7 amulets with little goblin faces on them. Deciding that finding 40 yards of Tartan might be the hardest portion of our quest Minerva suggested that we go and talk to her uncle for some help with finding it or someone who might have some. While doing that we went and visited Aaron for some greaters. Minerva’s uncle clued us into the fact that Jack Orc was out in the harbour and we arranged with him to get on board one of their ships in the morning and go out and meet Jack. Then we retired for the day.

2nd-3rd Meadow
At munchies we were woken up to go out to the boat to meet Jack. Some of the party spent some time purifying on the boat and Angus divinated the amulets. Apparently they protect from falling with the side effect of Naxious Vapour when we hit the ground. A standard goblin joke. About 4 hours into the ride on the Sunbeam through dense fog, we sounded a horn and got a reply and the boat started moving again under someone else’s power. A couple minutes later a ship appeared from the fog, it was the August. Angus explained our situation to Jack and asked for passage to Caladonia before we headed to Sandspit. Jack agreed to help us as we we’re working for Harold as long as we informed Harold and the Deep one of this favour. And so we headed of sending the Sunbeam back to harbour.

We spent the days proceeding doing some light combat training between the hand and a halfs and daggers. Until the night of the 3rd when we were told to hold on tight on the deck. We spread ourselves out over the deck and I proceeded to tie myself to a mast. With this Kaeso sees rocks in the distance that the sailors don’t seem all to concerned about and continue to sail towards. The dwarf at the helm yelled something about lift and the August and the water surrounding started to rise higher than the sea level to accommodate for the rocks. When the August got closer a glowing ring appeared to form a full circle with the rocks at its base and some of us more experienced adventures knew what we were looking at and started to relax a little bit.

As we come through the portal it is very dark. We presume we are in a lake due to the surrounding hills. As we stand there Angus comes to believe that he knows where we are, in lake Dunvegin. We stayed put so that our helmsman was confident that we wouldn’t run into rocks and headed out in the morning. We pulled up into a village and got some curious villagers due to the size of our ship. Angus lead us to a tailor and went in with Minerva to ask for some Tartan, soon learning that all the tartan he had was being held for a noble. If we wanted our Tartan faster we would have to go and deal with bandits out in the hills. [I could have pulled rank but didn't want to have to answer awkward questions, mainly from my father, the Laird - A] We first went to go find first breakfast at a tavern. Minerva went over and talked to the Bartender to get some more information and learnt that they had camp set up about 5 miles west of town, while Eskel went and asked trade routes from the Tailor. The tailor soon brought us wanted posters which I made sure to memorise. Then we went and talked to Jack to make sure he knew where we were.

 “Hopefully this shouldn’t take too long” – Angus 
“The Tartans going to be the longest bit of this” – Jaycey
“About 40 yards long to be exact” – Angus

After about 2 hours of walking making sure we didn’t leave town in the direction we were going. When close enough Minerva put coriscades on all the party apart from me, who stealthed forward invisible enough to study the camp, and report back to the rest of the party

 "Minerva is going to be invisible for some time" - Jaycey
"Out of sight, out of mind" - Angus

Once planned we went in and murdered the bandits with asparagus and well-timed bolts from Minerva. After we made sure all the bandits were dead and Minerva and Angus made sure the fires from the grenado’s, we sat and looted and had Second Lunch. During this we found a Goat which I promptly named Asparagus and a Dog who got named Onion. Along with a box who belonged to some McCloud. With this we went back to town and I dragged Angus along to buy Sylvester a new Tulwar after he broke his one cause the blacksmith wouldn’t sell me one. During this the rest of the party went and claimed the tartan by handing in the bandit heads to the tailor. Minerva and I then went to the Castle to give the box back. Cause I wasn’t in favour of either hunting him down or waiting the week or two, it would take for him to come back. I got payed in pies and haggis for returning the box and Minerva arranged for any further payment to be sent to Angus at The Guild.

“Your food will make my halfling very happy” – Minerva 
“I’m not yours, I refuse to be yours, I know where that ends” – Jaycey

Once that had been resolved we meet Jack and the party back on the boat and finally headed off to Sandspit

4th Meadow
To get out to where we needed to go with Angus being unsure what was down the river the helmsman and Jack concluded that there was a ritual we needed to do to get out. We were warned that we may not end up in the same place. Once clarified we learnt that us as a party would end up in the same place but in a different place to the boat. We were also told something about a big donut. Getting ready for what happens when party’s teleport we donned the fall protection amulets and sat around waiting for the ritual. Minerva out precaution put wings on all the party. Angus DAed the water spinning round the boat and got Holy Water Elemental so we found Splashy again.
Suddenly the boat disappeared and we were in the air miles above the ground before we were suddenly on the ground. I don’t have to wondered how we woke back up in craters on the ground. When we woke up we were surrounded by fog that we could see about 5 feet in front of us. Angus and Minerva worked out we had teleported into the Valley of the Trinity. Deciding to follow ranger north bumps and our wayfinders to get out the fog before we worked out where we had ended up within the plane. Just at the end of the fog was a small ditch that Mort and Eskel didn’t notice before falling over the edge into it. The party took a break while we waited for the fog to disapated. Angus explained what he had researched about the Vale and said something about a tower with a donut ring above it. Which jogged memories of what Aaron had told me about the Vale of the Trinity and Grumpy. Looking up we saw the smoke donut ring. Knowing this we could work out that Grumpy was somewhere within a mile. Once the fog had disappeared we walked back south to where we had landed and saw just past where Mort had landed away from the party a ditch with no living plants across. Mort analysis’ it as probably the results of scaring terrain. Walking clockwise round the ditch we found the path across to the front door. I noticing the Skeletal archers let the party know as we start our walk across. Stopping about 30ft away from the gate I yell out to let Grumpy Know we are here to deal with the problem at the back door. A couple seconds later the gates open and timidly the rest of the party follow me through because Minerva has found very high aura readings from the Tower that I kind of expected. A suit of armour comes out to meet us and lead us through to the main tower where there is a ‘person’ sat behind a large desk. When Minerva and Angus ask what we are to call him he reply’s with Sir. Not unexpected because from what I understand it was the ‘physical form’ Grumpy had chosen to address us in. We learn that Orcs and Elves have been hanging round the door from the back passage and taking things and Grumpy believes they have been trying to control him and that they are very annoying.
After asking a bunch of questions and trying to educate me on the proper meaning of murder and how what we are doing isn’t murder, we finally head out the back passage. Minerva sort of wastes time on talking to a Thrush which learns he nothing while Angus picks up a disturbance in the mana flow, and Kaeso and Eskel find 12 Orc boot prints. Minerva finally giving up on questioning the Thrush goes to where Angus is ritual casting and digs out a Bag with Enhance Control natured magic which finds my Haver Sack. At this point convincing Minerva the bird doesn’t know anything about what the orcs have been doing we follow the tracks out to a campsite by a cliffside that hasn’t been used in about a week. Deciding that if they come back before we expect them to they’ll catch us here and then we kill them or if they don’t we follow them on from here, we camped for the night in their old campsite.

5th Meadow
In the night during Angus and I’s watch there was a crashing through the forest. The heat signature put it as about my height and longer than it was tall. I warned Angus and started waking party members. A couple seconds later a boar crashed through trampling Mort on its route past. Eventually getting in close with it the party took it down and the best we could butchered it for meat, tusks and bone. Picking back up in the morning we followed the orc prints. According to Kaseo the 3rd one had a limp, the 5th has a slightly shorter leg, the 6th is 10lbs heavier than the others either in carry weight or body weight, another one has slightly longer stride and two more are arguing, which Angus mistook for dancing even though he says he was joking. Upon getting toward lunch time a couple party memebers could pick out the smell of bacon and eggs. However I knew that it was Bacon and Eggs cooked in extra virgin olive oil. After protesting that, that was not how extra virgin olive oil was supposed to be used by some members of the party and a

 “Lunies would do this” from Minerva

I followed my nose the 300ft towards the smell. We came into a small clearing with a halfling sitting at a fire cooking. Eskel after saying something about wanting to rob them then had another halfling pop up behind him. With this Kaseo, Angus, Minerva and I all knew who these to were even if the other didn’t remember them. We had stumbled back upon Kathrine and Cook. We stayed for lunch trading the some pork from the boar and some of my pies from Caladonia. We caught up with the two learning they were werewolf hunting. Sylvester sat with Cook hoping to learn something from him. After lunch we got back on the track of the orcs. Two of which were definitely still arguing up to the point where we camped for the night and quite possibly beyond. We decided that in the morning Angus would divinate the bag from outside Mr Grumpy.

6th Meadow
As we walked following the tracks Kaeso and I noticed a humanoid figure 100 yards out into the forest. However it kept falling over and then getting back up again. Upon sneaking over to have a look we discovered it was a zombie orc or Zorc. Deciding that it wasn’t worth dealing with it because the orc wasn’t bound to anyone we continued to follow the tracks again. After stopping for lunch which ended up as eel found by Sylvester we continued to note the amount of undead creatures including animals as well as orcs as we walked and well into the night, which sparked up a conversation on what a grouping of necromancers was called. We settled on a 'grave of necromancers'

7th Meadow
We continued on track and soon got a very strong smell of manure as we crossed into a lighter forest along with the manure was again a smell of smoke before the rest of the party noticed Kaeso and I pushed them all into a ditch behind some bushes just in time before a patrol of 4 orcs walked past. As we discussed whether or not to jump them there and then I picked up voices coming from the wooden palisade and we decided it would be better to ambush them further down the path. Which meant we set up an ambush and waited for their return in which Minerva read the night sky

Minerva read:

 Mr G is coming from moon ‘eir
 The ‘eir be green
 The greatness is buried
 The front is death
 The rear is good
 Lumpy, lumpy, fire and frumpy

We are still debating the exact ‘eir variation that belongs in the stars.

8th- 10th Meadow

We set up our ambush with Minerva up a tree further back and Sylvestor and Kaeso up a tree each at the front. Angus, Mort, Eskel and I hide in the bushes closer to the path.

When the orcs turned up Angus charged forward yelling in Orcish a phrase I had taught him that he believed meant “Prepare to dance laddie”. However only having basic knowledge of Orcish, I taught him a word that meant something very different than dance. I do know all the words for fuck after all. This triggered our Drop-Elves to drop from the trees with swords in hand on the Orcs heads. Sylvestor who had jumped first landed pulling his sword down through the 3rd orc, pulling it on top of him which meant Kaeso landed on top finishing off the orc and squishing Sylvestor. The battle was swift and fast with Angus lodging his sword in the front orc downing him and stylishly plucking his great axe from the air as it fell.

Heading back we took a wide berth around the orc encampment to head round the back of hill to see if we could get a view from above. The orcs were making lots of noise and the smell of pork was in the air. As we got round the back we picked up goblin tracks that went round the left side of the hill. Deciding to follow them because they were either Adlandia’s who could help us out or one of the other side who we beat and torture till they tell us what we want to know. About a third to half way round the hill the tracks disappeared into bushes finding the footprints continued the other side into a small cave in the hill side (what the other party members would consider very small). I searched for traps while Sylvestor watched the cave and the others ‘bickered’. Johnny soon appeared in the cave entrance. We discussed some things at the entrance like ANGUS HAS 8 ADLANDIA CHILDREN and why Johnny was down here, apparently the hill the orcs are living in is a ‘person’. Johnny shows us in to where he has been hiding out, which requires most the party to take their armour off. We are then informed of which mages the group have. Within the orcs are a Necromancer and a Mind Mage, and a Elven E and E is living with them. All of which think THEY are in charge. In Johnny’s hideout, which so happens to be the prison, are a couple of humans who are in bad shape. When informed that the Elf is not with the orcs partying but, in his room, Sylvestor and I prep and wander down the halls invisible following Johnny’s instruction of left to the elf and right to the stores.

Upon entering the Elf’s room and noticing he was sleeping we stole his personal possessions and with some direction from Johnny murdered him in his sleep.

11th Meadow

At about midnight before going to bed we discussed or plan to take out the orcs when they went to bed in the morning. Working out that there would be roughly 8 orcs outside the barracks, 4 active guards, 2 personal guards and the mages, we decided to ‘lock’ the majority of the orcs in the barracks with Warp, joining the doors to the walls and burning them with grenados from above. This would leave those of us in the camp to deal with the remaining orcs.

In the morning when the orcs went to sleep Mort and I snuck into the camp invisible and locked their doors. Successfully doing this we wandered over to the stables to give those up the top a signal to start raining hell fire. This triggers the orcs to start yelling something. In hine sight it may have been Fire. Running round the back of the stables and barracks to help out the rest of the party who had stayed hidden in the cave entrance while Mort for an unknown reason went round the other way.

Angus, Sylvestor and Eskel took on the Orcs outside the tents before the other guards and the Mages came out to investigate. Targeting them as a group we downed them, having to save Angus from dying in the process through a Noxious Vapors of very high ranks, cast by the Mind Mage when he was one of the last Orcs standing and the only Mage still up. We suspect invested. Angus dispelled the Vapor cloud when brought back to his feet by Sylvestor, now a healthy shade of goblin green (looks more like his kids now I'd reckon), made our lives easier looting the tents and picking off any orc who actually managed to get out of their burning death trap, with a ranged weapon.

After slaughtering the Orcs we found what looked to be messages written in Orcish. Having no one in the party able to read Orcish we handed them off to Johnny who informed us that someone called Blarg the Destroyer and something called a Host of the Unworthy that were due to arrive tomorrow with about 300 orcs total. Deciding we didn’t want to be here when they turned up I left the party to loot and steal whatever they could find and got to work on putting the 6 pigs we had found on my bracelet. After 2 hours we left on the horses from the stables and took the prisoners with us. We made the mistake of giving Minerva a prisoner whose name was Harry, so she had to remember that he wasn’t a slave.

On the first night we camped I heard drums off in the distance that they party all noticed in the morning we quickly had a hot meal and continued. This reoccurred the next night we camped and read the night sky getting:

 Thump, thump, thump
 On they come.
 Thump, thump, thump
 Thump, thump, thump
 Run, run, run

We chose to ignore this one.

13th Meadow
On the third night we pushed on instead of camping and made Grumpy a couple of hours after dusk. Good thing we did because moments after reaching his front gate the army of orcs crossed the tree line and made there way out to fight. I galloped Pickles towards the gate yelling at the guards as I did so explaining in as little words as possible. Getting inside the undead army marched out the gate behind us. We stood on the wall a helped in what way we could. I let a Drider go and help, Minerva fired her bolts and Angus read where the mages where drawing energy from and directed Minerva’s shots. Mr Grumpy soon finished off the battle and marched the undead back in. Within this horde was my Drider who had died and been brought back by Mr Grumpy which shouldn’t work and yet it has… I don’t like it, it’s not supposed to be real. Mr Grumpy gives us a place to sleep for the night after we explained what went down while we were gone.

14th Meadow
In the morning we went hunting for the last of the bags that Mr Grumpy told us existed finding an additional 5, making it 6 in total. When we asked Mr Grumpy what we were to do with them he had us place them in a brazier and he got them burnt which went up with a nice blue flame. With what of the day we had left Angus, Minerva and I went back to the orc camp to find a tome, book or something of the like that gave the orcs the knowledge to create such bags, because apparently when I ask the party to search the camp they weren’t looking for secret hidden things. What kind of adventuring party am I with?
In the Mind mages tent there was a hidden safe under his rug, which of course was trapped. After undoing the trap I opened the safe to find a potion. This DAed to read as a Potion of Knowledge that was centuries old. Having picked up demon protection amulets from the Mind Mage and Necromancer, after the humans DAed the potion and started talking about drinking it I put it safetly away in my haversack so that they couldn’t cause trouble that we couldn’t deal with.

We came back to meet with the rest of the party and made it just before dark. With this not being there long Mr Grumpy had decided that we had met our lodging hours and asked us to leave. We left with no argument as we didn’t want to piss off the Necromantic Tower with a recently acquired Zorc Army and Zombie Drider. Going back to where we made divots in the ground we set up camp in Angus’s hole and stayed the night still within eye sight of Mr Grumpy. During the night heads tilted on an angle not normal to people watched us through the night. DAing them as Zombies we weren’t that worried as we were still well within Mr Grumpy’s area of control.

15th -18th of Meadow

In the morning remembering where Mr Grumpy was in relation to Junction and Midway and discussing it with the Rangers who I’d come through here before with we decided to travel east to find the path we travelled the first time towards Grumpy. We then followed it through for a day and a half before we started to lose the Zombies. We walked another day before we got to a place where we had to cross the horses across the river. Angus and Minerva having the best Horsemanship guided the horses as the rest of us jumped across the boulders in the river. 200 yards east was what I recognised as Robs Place. Making our way there I took Minerva out and in the end Angus as well to find the magic mushrooms in the Orchid. Having 4 mealtimes to do things before the mushrooms stopped working I sold the 6 pigs, Asparagus the Goat and Onion the Dog to Rob put the horses and Pickles away in my bracelet giving us half an hour extra to eat the mushrooms in.
Eating the mushrooms the trees started to move and scold Eskel and some other weird shit happened just like last time so I was happy. The colours blurred and we were suddenly in the dark. I cantriped a light after seeing the mass of warm entities. Talking to What Da, who said we were brave eating those mushrooms unprepared and was shocked to see Angus, took us through to Gablbrox, who then sent us to the Adlandias who needed the Tartan. As we walked through some goblins with ginger hair ran through and yelled “Wet, Light, Dead Things, Words” at certain members of the party. We assumed they were Angus’ kids DAing us as they ran past. We followed What Da and were introduced to the mothers of Angus’ kids. All 3 of them. Looking around we also noticed 2/3rd Elven Adlandias who were playing with dolls, the next moment the dolls were playing assassin on their own.
With the Tartan delivered the alcohol was brought out and a good time was had by all. Mort got high on goblin nibbles building himself a bone igloo which Angus’ kids secured the entrance of. A couple of the boys had some fun with some of the other goblins (obviously wanting kids themselves), which we got half remembered stories of later.


Mil Sci

Daily Pattern

  • Sleep/Camp  ? Hours
  • Travel  ? Hours
  • Meals  ? Hours
  • Rituals  ? Hours

Travel Magics

Caster & Spell

  • Total speed:
  • Duration:
  • Ft cost per duration:
  • Effective travel distance:

Watch Order

Marching Order


Buffs listed in the table don't need to be detailed, other buffs not on the table must be mentioned at the time they are cast.
Y means always on, N/- means never on, 'Sit.' means when the party has time for buffs before a fight.
Weapon Spells which weapon/s it is going on normally should be noted also.

General notes.

Long Duration Buffs

Magic Rk Effects Dur JC Ka Mo Mi An Es Sy
Coriscade 10 +22 Defense 330 mins (5 1/2 hours) sit sit sit sit sit sit sit
Name Rank Effect Duration - - - - - - -

Short Duration Buffs

Magic Rk Effects Dur JC Ka Mo Mi An Es Sy
Name Rank Effect Duration - - - - - - -
Name Rank Effect Duration - - - - - - -


Refer to Valley of the Trinity



  • 42 Waters of Healing(6 each)
  • 7 amulets of Protection from Falling


  • Whiskey for Jack


  • Goat
  • Dog
  • 4 Methan Grenados
  • 6 Greek Fires
  • 13 Chain Suits-Size 6- 12 sold
  • 5 10 point healing potions
  • 11 claymores - 10 x rk4 - 1 x rk 8 - Sold 10
  • Spectral Scabard
  • 4 Good Whiskeys
  • 10,000sp of jewels and coins
  • Amulets
    • 6 luck
    • 2 Amythests
    • Diamond
    • Carbunkle
    • Bloodstone
    • Elderflower
    • Jade
    • Beryl
    • Chalcedony
  • 4 Composite bows - rk5
  • 4 crossbows - rk5
  • McCloud, Taylors chest - Returned


  • Herb Collection Dagger
  • Sickle
  • Orcish Horned Helm
  • Padded Mage Robes x2
  • Healing Potions
  • Restoratives
  • Jewels
  • Misc Mundane Weapons
  • Dagger of Sacrafice
  • Amulets
    • 2 Iron
    • 2 Hypericum
  • 6 pigs
  • Investeds
  • 12 greek fire? Grenados
  • Blanket vs the cold
  • Potion of Knowledge



  Moonday Duesday W'ansday Th'rsday Frysday Reapsday Sunday
Moon0.jpg Beltane
Meadow (1)
  1 Guild Meeting 2 Left for Caladonia 3 Killed Bandits 4 Arrived in Vale of the Trinity 5 White Lotus Meet Kathrine 6 Seagate Light Festival Track Orcs
Moon1.jpg 7 Night Sky Reading 8 Ambush Set up 9 10 Ambush And Johnny 11 KILL THE ORCS!! 12   13 Back at Mr Grumpy
Moon2.jpg 14 Found rest of bags 15 Got kicked out 16   17   18 Cross River and Adlandias 19 The Castellan Borderers Ball Got payed by Frankie 20 Left for Home
Moon3.jpg 21   22   23   24   25   26 Seagate Crafters Ball 27  
Moon0.jpg 28   29   30    
Heat (2)
  1 Laketown 2   3 Sandspit 4 Seagate Guildmasters Ball
Moon1.jpg 5   6   7   8   9   10 Seagate Races 11 The Duke of Carzala's Summer Ball
Moon2.jpg 12   13   14 Midsummers
 (Faerie Day)
15 Solstice 16   17 Seagate Summer Fair Day Back to Seagate 18 Seagate Summer Fair Day
Moon3.jpg 19   20   21   22   23   24 The Castellan of Brastor's Summer Ball 25  
Moon0.jpg 26   27   28   29   30    
Breeze (3)
  1   2  
Moon1.jpg 3 Day of Death 4   5   6   7   8   9  
Moon2.jpg 10   11   12   13   14   15   16  
Moon3.jpg 17   18   19   20   21   22   23  
Moon0.jpg 24   25   26   27   28   29   30