A lack of humer
GM: Ian Anderson
Season: Autumn 819 WK
- Uthgard - Hill Giant Mind Sorcerer Played by Anne
- Carrie - Halfling E&E Played by Justis
- Rhoswen - Elf Binder Played by Beth
- Rayne - Human Air Mage played by Annuskha
- Kurt - Human Earth Mage played by Bernard
- Eugene - Human Nerco Played by Sam
- Christo - Human Dark Celestial Played by Anthony
- Harold the Unfathomable
- Kurt – A human Earth Mage and Our Party Leader
- Rain – A human Air Mage
- Christo – A Human Dark Celestial
- Rhoswen – An Elf Binder
- Carrie – A Halfling E&E
- Eugene – A Human Necromancer and Party Mil Sci
- And Myself, Uthgard – A Hill Giant Mind Sorcerer and Scribe
We got a very quick concise briefing. Harold the Unfathomable in Laketown had a job. More information from him when we get there. A boat was waiting for us in the harbor that would leave in 48 hours. We dealt with basic equipping and got on our way. The first evening there was a ritual to make us sailors followed by a traditional morning hang over. The second evening we meet with another boat that followed us for the rest of our journey.
On the 14th we docked at a defendable small ‘fishing’ village known as Sandspit. In which we stayed the night before boarding another ship in the lagoon and sailing through the cliff into the maze beyond. There was some writing on a pillar in the maze that I am informed was Destinian that told us to run. We crossed into a lake and one of our DAers, Christo told us we were now in the Valley of the Trinity.
Shorty we stop in the middle of the lake which makes Kurt inclined to tap on his battle axe. Might have something to do with the fact that he is an Earth Mage in a Lake, with no magic, with a giant Kraken. After ritually dunking the Necro to test for evil we moved on. Proving that Mind Sorcerers are not evil.
After arriving in lake town we were taken to the hall and meet with Harold the Unfathomable, in which we got our briefing.
Apparently his communications with Milhouse, Lord of Milhouse are becoming less formal and more curt so he would like us to take a look. Along with this there are reports of bandits on the road going towards the Western Valley, conveniently the way we are headed so if we could clear up that up on the way through as well.
We stay at a particularly rough inn and pick up some extra hands and after careful consideration we as a group decide to make them forget any affiliation with any group that may be interested in our wagon and to not resist this suggestion in the future
From there we took the main road up to Junction and had no trouble on the way up. While in Junction Kurt talked to Brother Michael, one of the Priests of Misty, who we talked to last time we where here. We then continued our way up to Upvale. On our first day out of Junction the strong wagon was attacked by an undead bear. Which we promptly rekilled. Eugene insisted that we harvest it, so we compromised and took teeth and claws. In the next town up, we discovered someone else who had an encounter with this bear, by the looks of him he was wood cutter. Rain quickly cured him of infection and we continued on our way up making Roberton on the 25th.
We stayed in Roberton for a day and visited the village witch Maybell. Making the trip seemed worth in the end learning some valuable information. Learning our bear teeth and claws came from a were. One that probably got stuck. Maybell agreed to make us a couple of amulets of protection from lesser undead for the rest of the of the parts. Agreeing to this and making sure they’d get back to us even if we didn’t come back through here, we left Roberton the next day.
A days walk towards Upvale we stayed in a town that looked like it was rebuilding from having been burnt. Half a days travel out from Upvale Bird, Rains beast mastered companion, alerted us about people up ahead who were lying down and had dogs. So we prepared ourselves for battle and confronted them. Their ambush didn’t do to well and we killed all but one who we let get awayin hopes of locating him with our E&E otherwise we had Bird follow him just in case. This potentially halting our arrival in Upvale on the 29th and pushing it back a couple days.
Rain sends bird to follow the one we purposefully let go. Bird lets us know of a camp which we spend 4 hours getting 1 mile to tracking him back. The camp to us looks like it could hold up to 1-2 dozen people. In the camp are our injured fellow and 2 others along with 2 dogs. Kurt and Carrie who have become our stealth team, sit in close enough to listen while the rest of us sit and wait. From this we learn that they are this roads group of bandits who are working under 1 boss, who this lot were running to in the morning. With this information we decided to track them back to this camp and formulate a new plan when we knew what we were working with. With this we planned to control the dogs that they had while Kurt communicated with them our plan with the promise of food.
In the morning on schedule the dogs left the men and headed back to our strong wagon and our mercenaries. We continue to follow them for a day before camping while they continued their walk. In the morning Bird informs us of a larger camp with at least 20 people and a pack of dogs. We spend 5 days setting up our plan for a siege. At the end of this prep we used Kurt’s magic to make catapults from some trees and fired grenados on the camp which were far more effective than we thought they would be. Followed by a couple volleys of rocks. With the bears we convinced to work with us we had a wander round to make sure we had gotten everyone.
Upon inspection we discovered their prison who had lived through all of this. I’m honestly quite surprised. An Elf by the name of Loth Lorian, who was being kept hostage as incentive to his brother who they were using to control someone out in Milhouse. Learning of this we took Loth back with us Upvale with us to meet our mercenaries with our loot. Deciding this had a little more to it than we original knew that going back to Harold by cloud might be an idea.
On our way back through to Upvale we noticed we were being tracked or followed by a pack or group of something. We picked up our pace and ran the rest of the way to Upvale, or in my case a light jog. Making the walls just as the group turns up behind us. We had been followed by a war party of Orcs and some Goblins. Standing the Gate and holding them off only ended in 1 person falling unconscious due to lack of magic weapons immediately to slay earth elementals and some stunning. We manage to keep one Orc alive to question later through stun.
The guards take us to a tavern to talk to us, we end up talking to John who is the head of the town and explain what happened just at their gates. With having smoothed everything over we go through the Orcs stuff and selling some of our acquired loot. The Orcs had some Hand axes of Ainty-Undead, and we managed to collect the last of the goblin made traps.
With some help of the town we interrogated our prisoner and found out that they were after our Elf friend Loth, and that there was at least 10 more of these war parties not including goblins. With this we also learnt that the Big Boss answered to a higher power.
After this we questioned our Mercenaries about their connections due to their magic glowing swords. Apparently, they were connected to Loth and were supposed to hirer us to help save him.
With this we went back to Laketown with Loth to update Harold on what had happened. In our meeting with Mr. Unfathomable we learn Loth’s brothers name is Doth and leave him to talk to Loth. We find a room for the night away from the water at Kurt’s request and go and see Harold in the morning. Harold then sends us to the Shire to meet with Sarah and Kathrine and some more like them to help in what is going on. So with this and leaving Loth to travel with the barges we headed back to Roberton to get our Amulets from Maybel, with them picked up we went to Gloomyvale, stayed in the Ram’s Head Inn and in the morning went to the Shire just in time to catch the birthday party.
After we had spent enough time at the party we left with all the Destined Ones and took the underground route that they knew of that according to them went through planes. Heading off with the 2 Halflings Kathrine and Cook, the 2 Elves who we didn’t get names from, the two Dwarves whose names we learnt were Gerty and Ted, and 2 humans.
We walked for 3 hours before entering a large cavern where the Trolls spoken Elven and the food D.A.ed as coming from Orcland. We stopped and ordered food in the place which we learnt was called ‘The Cavern’. While sitting down to our meal an Orc walked past and asked Rhoswen if she was here on a job which she got very confused about but still answered no. After a couple minutes something jogged her memory of this woman. Apparently was an old employer of Rhoswen’s. After our meal we headed off again and walked for another 3 hours.
We meet Gary the Goblin at the end of this after he yelled in a language nobody but the Destined Ones understood. Him and his couple dozen men were to practise stalking. We continued on and meet with Glow, an Adlandia who was Hill Giant sized and glowed a little bit. We had the Goblins identify our goblin made traps. Once that was done we went upstairs to a large shelf where the goblins helped Rain cast an improved cloud that would carry all of us and the Destined Ones, once done we headed back to Upvale which we got back to on the 16th which was impressive. Once there we had a meeting, where there was talk of bringing in ‘The Dog’ and sending the Destined Ones into the hills for a week to do some scouting. We spent the week in Upvale helping them up their defences and learning grenado.
We decide to stay another couple of weeks in Upvale doing so spending some time learning stuff. Our second week into staying in Upvale Loth came back with an elf who looked very similar to him, so we assume it’s Doth. There was talk going around of the ‘Arrival of the Host of the Unworthy’ and a prophecy came to us from translation that said
“In the downy bit Where the sun doesn’t shiny The three are in the rose One’s a duck One’s a horse One’s a man Travel you may if you wish Shut the door on your way out”
Eventually we worked out that it was translated into Aldaran by someone with very low ranks in one of the languages. So with nothing much more to do we went on a hunt to see if we could find out what was going on here. Firstly we went to see Mr Grumpy. We gained entrance with relative easy, which may not be a good thing. We were brought into a dinning hall and talked to Mr Grumpy about what we knew and found out what we could from him. We learnt that the Host of The Unworthy was from the Orclands plain, he was also kind enough to let us know of some portal locations over there. After finding out what we couple from Mr Grumpy he decided that we needed blessings. So we were given the ability to see in the dark, and in a big fight we would be able to drain.
After Mr Grumpy we went and visited the Goblins coming back in from where we took off from last time. Which meant walking back down the stairs. After a little bit a goblin was spotted who took off down the stairs. And another goblin came up who Kurt asked to get Gabblebrox. Meeting with Gabblebrox we asked more questions of the same line of the ones we asked Mr Grumpy. We learnt that the Orcs coming through from the other side is a prison legion, and that the rose is potentially their side but there is a place called the Rose in Gloomy Vale. And then they taught us Orcish by hitting us with a book.
We slept the headaches off and then headed out for Gloom Vale where we find The Scented Rose Tavern, inside of which we find through some cleaver D.A.ing a Demon Marque. So we go and talk to Samuel Priest of Misty to get an idea of who he might be which he thinks it may be the Marques in the Pentical, so we carefully D.A the other 2, who come back as Demon Prince and Peacock. At this point the Demons notice and want to speak to us. Apparently, they need someone to do a job for a woman cause shes owed a favour. With more talking we learn this lady, Lavidia, who Rhoswen has worked for before has the key to shut the portal which the legion is coming through.
With this knowledge we tell them that if we decide we are talking up the job we will meet them at the crossroads out of town. Going back to Samuel to talk this over we work out we were talking to The Beautiful Marque, who D.A.ed as Peacock, The Willing Prince and indeed The Marques in the Pentical. But knowing that Samuel doesn’t disapprove and it seeming our best way to close the portal it seems like our way forward.
We went to the crossroads to meet with the ‘Three Old Men’ and only found a man with a cloak and a beard, who when we said we were waiting for someone the ‘Three Old Men’ appeared. We carefully worded our agreement to go with them to speak to Lavidia. In a blink we were in a large rough huge stone cavern. Inside this cavern was Lavidia a Lady Orc with a sparkly hand and a ½ among other weapons on her person. We let the ‘Three Old Men’ talk to her and then discussed the job.
Apparently, a band of Trolls had their instruments stolen and we were needed to retrieve them being somewhat less suspicious due to being ‘under armed’. After working out where, what and payment we prepared ourselves and headed in. Knowing we could get in through the sewers thanks to some very helpful rodents and Kurt, that’s where came in. After getting Water breathings and waterproofing’s.
We snuck down the sewers upgrading for small rats to larger rats. Checking each door as we came through, the first was a storeroom with contraband but no instruments so we let it be. Door two with a corridor that had an orc and the smell of salami coming from, so we let it be for now. Door number three went upstairs into the Booze barn so we were not going up there. At this point I remembered our E&E had locate. So, we located one instrument we had described to us, which lead us back to door number two. I upgraded from large rat to Orc. With a quick chuckle about the upgrade from orc being troll, we looked for a trap door, and I got the orc to show us where it was, along with asking him some questions. We learnt of 4 guards down here including him and not to let them get to the ropes that alert upstairs. With a plan formed we headed in invisible got the orc to cause a distraction and murdered the 3 other guards, 2 cleric and their ‘supervisor. This made my orc friend all the more willing to be helpful.
We collected our loot and the instruments and headed out after laying a small trap.
On our way back to Lavinia, Christo almost gets himself into a fight with a guy in the street he bumped into. Then an explosion goes off about 3 streets behind us which we promptly ignore it, it ‘not being our fault’. The rest of the way we have to stop the halfling being targeted but eventually get back to The Cavern. The instruments get returned and we talk to Lavinia explaining why we came with the demons to the job. Apparently Lavinia has an object called The Stone Of D.Oom which will close the portal from within in it but will also take the users magic from them for a little time. While Lavina wen and got this Stone we sat and listened to the band play now that they had their instruments back and a halfling approaches us and gives us a Lute as a token.
When Lavinia comes back with the stone we ask how were getting close to the portal and were given a letter to give to someone who will give us papers that say we’re allowed to go through the portal by saying we’re a scouting party. Translating the letters to make sure this is what we were getting. We also equipped ourselves so we at least would look the part. Getting new Armor and weapons and collecting our papers, we picked up a pack animal, which ended up being a dire wolf and headed off. It took us two days of walking to get up to the portal, staying the night in a freshly walled town on the way up.
We were directed into the barn where there where two standing stones that the portal was between. One side of the portal went 10 miles somewhere else in the Orclands and the other side went to the Valley of the Trinity. We sat and did our prep stuff in magic disguising it as a ritual that we were taught. We walked through the portal Kurt going last opening the box as he went. Inside the portal there was snow and the wind started to howl with a deeper one in behind. We run out the portal chased by its collapse coming out with a flurry of snow that delayed the orcs attack just long enough for us to prepare. Coming out the other side of the fight I’ve lost my left hand but everyone else is fine. Guess I’m playing back line Military Scientist from now on.
Outside the door was a clearing with 6 horses in it. We sent Murder out to do some scouting, discovering that there was a town 30-40 miles away. Deciding this was a better idea than tramping through the woods not knowing where we were, we heading out towards it. Discovering a farm slightly before dusk we ‘hired out their barn for the night. During the night the dire wolf scares off a goblin. In the morning we find out the neighbouring farm was attacked last night. Escorting the farmer we were staying with we headed over to the neighbouring farm, made them effectively a small militia with the gear we gave them. With directions to Milhouse (the town we had seen, so now we knew where we were) we headed off making it just before dark. We stable all the animals and speak to the Captain of the guard, letting them know about the orc problem in the hills, and the farmers militia. Selling off the last of the mundane wares we didn’t want, while waiting for a response of any sort to our letter to UpVale.
At the end of our second day hanging around Kathrine, Cook, Gerty and Ted turn up and arrange for us to go on a walk to see to Kurts magic and my hand. Supposedly they know of some healing waters in the hills . In the morning we set off to a small spring pool where they dip a tankard into the water and poor it over my wrist and severed hand. With a great deal of pain later my hand is reattached and in perfect working order. With the only sign being a scar all the way round my wrist. That however is nothing compared to the condition it left Kurt in after ingesting some water in which he glowed a bit.
“Light comes out of…”-Gm “Your Butt” – Rain “Everywhere” – Gm “That’s included in everywhere so yes. The sun really does shine out of Kurt’s arse”- Kurt
After this is all done we are sat down and given a big meal.
|Skirmish Formations (Front)|
|Double File||Single File|
General Buff Notes
Buffs listed in the table don't need to be detailed, other buffs not on the table must be mentioned at the time they are cast.
Y means always on, N/- means never on, 'Sit.' means when the party has time for buffs before a fight.
Weapon Spells which weapon/s it is going on normally should be noted also
Long duration buffs
|Name (??)||##||????||# Day||?||?||?||?||?||?||?|
|Name (??)||##||????||# Hours||Y||N||Y||Y||Y||?||?|
|Name (??)||##||????||? Hours||?||?||?||?||?||?||?|
Short duration buffs
|Name (??)||##||????||# Mins||?||?||?||?||?||?||?|
|Name (??)||##||????||# Mins||?||?||?||?||?||?||?|
|Name (??)||##||????||# Mins||?||?||?||?||?||?||?|
|Name (??)||##||????||? Mins||?||?||?||?||?||?||?|
Loot and Expenses
Laketown from Harold.
* 6 * Healing Potions each (some used) * 6 * Strength Potions each (Nearly all used) * 10 * Fancy Grenadoes (8 used, 2 remaining, 1 for each Alchemist)
Bandit Camp (Most non special loot sold in Upvale)
* 20,000sp in chests * 15 sets of chain * Amulets *Luck x3 *Amythest *Jade *Some cold iron Weapons *Silvered *Hand and a Half x2 (rk 5) *Hand Axe x3 (rk 5)
Orc Siege (Most non special loot sold in Upvale)
*Bunch of Orc & Goblin equipment *Goblin Traps *Low Rank Summon Earth Elemental *Noxious Vapours Gigahex *Low Rank Nightmare Illusion
Booze Barn Basement
*Chain x2 (rk 5) *Some Contraband
Big Smoke in General.
*Rank in Unarmed. *Dire Wolf (Non sentient type) *Specific peoples purchases. *War Dog - Kurt *War Eagle - Rayne *Animal accessories. - Kurt & Rayne *Bronze Plate - Uthgard
Millhouse Portal Cave-barn. (Most non special loot sold in Millhouse)
*18 Orcs of Combat Gear. *Orc Commanders Gear. *6 Horses & Gear.
|Autumn 818wk: Fruit (4)|
|Autumn 818wk: Harvest (5)|
|19||Harvest Moon ..||20||21||22||23||Destined Ones Return||24||25|
|Autumn 818wk: Vintage (6)|
|10||11||12||13||14||Leave for Grumpy and Goblins||15||The Scented Rose||16||Lavidia|